Stolen Kisses
by xShannan
Summary: Nick discovers that love can be found in the most unlikely places. Jeff is the schools hockey captain. Nick is the schools nerd. Events spiral out of control when secret kisses are caught and gossip spreads like wildfire. Rated T for later chapters!
1. The library

**Don't be scared**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Glee or any characters you may recognise, I only own a few of the OC's I've made up.**

**Enjoy~**

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><p>Nick was distracted; he was sitting as he always did, rushing at the last minute to get his homework done. He should have been concentrating on his work, he knew that, but it didn't seem quite as important at that moment. He was simply not into his work. Classic underachiever syndrome at work, he should have been the poster boy for it, except he wasn't attractive enough.<p>

Not that he was unattractive, quite the contrary he was in-fact rather handsome, with loosely gelled hair and a pair of deep chocolate brown eyes that drew people to trust him on instinct. But he was not hot. He had been told repeatedly that he looked too intelligent. He was handsome in that classic Englishman manner that brimmed with raw charisma, but without the accent he was simply... normal.

He shifted his hand to rest his chin on it, staring vacantly up at the doors to the library. He could play sports if he wanted to; nothing stopped him, except the fact that he just didn't know how to play most of them. He had grown up in England - a place where basketball and hockey weren't played that often. Hell, sometimes they were even laughed at back home. Nick could play soccer modestly, but he had been an ace at cricket. Nothing like going from ace cricket rookie to geek because his father had wanted to emigrate.

It sucked.

There had been a rather embarrassing incident when he had tried out for the baseball team in the summer. He had stepped up to the plate feeling the awkward round bat in his hand and tried to swing for it, missing the first two times. The last time he had just relaxed, holding the bat like a cricket bat, and had connected hard enough to send the ball right out of the field, into the coach's Volvo. That had ended his sports career. Though it had bought him the respect of his friends who thought it was cool that at 16 Nick could hit a home run and make it look effortless.

Nick started from his thoughts as Jeffery Sterling walked into Westerville High School's library with a smug expression that wasn't so much arrogant as it was confident. It was rare to have many guys willing to spend their study period in the library, especially not someone with Jeff's reputation. His green leather letterman jacket only contained his threatening broad shoulders. And the gold lettering on the sleeve read `Storm hockey', a real sport in the coach's eyes, not like Cricket.

Jeff grabbed the first seat available, which happened to be beside the tall windows that overlooked the ramp up to the main doors of the school. Honestly, this caught Nick off guard. He would have assumed that Jeff would have placed himself out of sight, hidden away from his teammates in case they saw him there. Yet, he sat with an emanating confidence that confounded the instincts. He seemed like the type of guy that over-exaggerated every moan while working out in the gym. The type that fell asleep each night reading his own stats. He fished out a pair of reading glasses, also out of character, as he pushed his blond hair away from his eyes. Jeff was tall, not really built for hockey, but to Nick he was definitely handsome in an Old Navy commercial kind of way. It made Jeff appear young, wholesome and clean-cut. He was the kind of boy girls could take home to meet their mother. He had platinum-blond hair, parted on the left side of his head almost carelessly, which only served to add to the image of a typical wholesome youth. But it was Jeffs's soft hazel eyes that gave Nick a way to see past the stereotype to the intelligent and determined man beyond. Those powerful eyes that shone every time he spoke.

Nick shook his head as the bell rang for the start of the study period. Nick went back to his own textbooks; his English paper was due later that afternoon, and typically he was leaving it until the last minute. But it wasn't a big deal for him. Much to his English teacher's frustration, he had an innate understanding of the English language, one that let him bang out an A-grade paper in less than an hour. He stared at the selections of William Blake. It was simple for Nick to see where Blake was going with the poem; the tricky part was connecting it to his later works. Those were scattered about him in a disorganized pile waiting for his attention. There was something thrilling about being lost in the written word, and Nick was enjoying himself. Hey, so long as it wasn't math Nick was happy to do the work. An innate understanding of math seemed to be one thing he lacked, much to his dad's dismay.

Curiosity made him glance up and over to where Jeff sat, pencil clenched between his teeth as he flipped through a chemistry book. Of course. Mister Chiasson had the senior chem labs that afternoon, a big deal apparently, though Nick had yet to take any of Chiasson's courses, those came next semester. He considered opening up a conversation, but Jeff was too far away for that. And you didn't just start a conversation with the captain of the hockey team.

"Your english paper still isn't done?" Sapphire asked as she laid her books down on the table beside him. Late as ever, Nick wondered if she would ever pull it together.

She was a beautiful girl; there was a hint of the exotic in her appearance, a slight roundness to her face and the curliness to her dark hair that always made Nick think of Helen of Troy. Men would destroy cities for that woman one day. Trouble with her was, she never realized it.

He smiled up at her, "It's just Blake," he said with a simple shrug of his shoulders, "I give myself even odds to be done by the end of study hall."

She snorted at him as she flipped open her own textbook and fished through her notes, "I was done with that paper a week ago."

"That's because you're a keener." Nick grinned as he returned his concentration to the paper and scribbled some more notes in his near-illegible handwriting. It was like painting a picture: first he got the basic shape for it, and from there he would fill out the details.

Sapphire stared at him a moment and reached out to pull his ball cap down over his eyes, "Jerk." She said with a grin.

"Shh!" Miss Harriet, the librarian, a wizened old spinster admonished from the counter. She never even looked up from her book cataloguing. Nick smirked at Sapphire as he readjusted his cap on his head, shaking his head at his nemesis. "I'm still going to score higher than you on this paper."

Sapphire looked down at it then back up at him, and she gave him a radiant smile, "And I am still scoring higher than you in math class, so we're even." She stopped when she noticed Jeffrey Sterling sitting over by the windows watching them, "Is that...?"

Nick nodded, "Yep," he replied as he continued to work, "chemistry lab this afternoon."

She tapped her pen on the edge of the table; "Hmmm, glasses make him kinda cute." She shook her head as she caught herself checking out a jock and pulled out her calculator.

"I thought that you and Wes were..." Nick began.

"Don't even say it," She grumbled in frustration. "He asked me out to the semi-formal this weekend, but hasn't shown up for school. His friend Trent said the last he heard Wes was off buying a motorbike. Like school isn't important or anything. The guy just won't grow up."

Nick relaxed in the uncomfortable plastic chair that was supposedly designed for posture and in actual fact dated from the middle of the Spanish Inquisition. He set his pen down, "What made you say 'yes' then if he's so irresponsible?"

Sapphire remained silent as she laboured on a particularly complex quadratic Equation. Finally, realizing Nick wasn't about to just let it go, she looked up at him, "I don't know, he asked, I guess." She looked about her. "Think I could sneak into the teachers lounge and raid the coffee pot? Coffee from the cafeteria tastes like crap" she said trying to change the subject.

Nick chuckled as he picked up his pen, "Ah, so it's because no one else asked. I understand." He ducked under her hand that flew out to connect solidly with his shoulder. It stung, but he continued to laugh at her.

He stopped laughing when Thad came out of the audiovisual supply room pushing a TV-VCR unit on its tall cart. Both Sapphire and Nick picked up their textbooks at the same time, trying desperately to appear busy. But it was too late; Thad stopped the cart and grinned at them.

"Hey guys. Are you looking forward to the dance on Friday night?" He leaned on their table, "They're letting Josh DJ it this year, and I am rigging the lights; it's going to be fun." He stopped and smiled at Sapphire, "A-re you, um, g-going with any-anyone?"

Nick hid his choking laughter by coughing into his hand. Sapphire's face was truly a sight to behold and if he had a camera, it would have made a great Kodak moment. There was something about white on Sapphire; it set off her deep auburn hair. "I'm going with Wes...I'm sorry, Thad..." she apologized, and it almost sounded sincere, at least there was something, Sapphire always seemed to let guys down gently.

Thad nodded his head, adjusting his glasses sullenly as he made an excuse and wheeled the cart out of the library destined for whatever class had requested it. When the doors had closed, Nick looked up from his paper, "That was almost cruel."

Sapphire shrugged, "What? I told him the truth didn't I? He's a sweet guy but, hello... desperate?"

Nick looked towards the doors and shook his head. No doubt that was the reason Thad couldn't get a date; you just couldn't go around with a big neon sign over your head that screamed 'desperate'. And despite the fact that Thad's dad ran the paper mill that employed half the town he just couldn't compensate for his total lack of social graces. He affixed a prospective date in a set of floodlights, concentrating so much emotion upon them that they couldn't help but say no to him. It was a shame, Thad really wasn't that bad of a guy.

"Who are you taking?" Sapphire asked interrupting his thoughts; it brought Nick back from his deep contemplation and grounded him in the present. He hadn't actually been planning on going to the Semi-Formal. His jaw worked a few times as he struggled to offer her an answer and in the end shook his head, "Hadn't thought about it. I don't go to dances..."

She shrugged, "but there must be someone right? I mean there has to be someone you want to take...what about Daisy?"

Nick shook his head, "Daisy and I are just friends. She's going through a rough patch right now with the pregnancy..."

"Oh." Sapphire grimaced, "How's she doing? Has she heard anything from Jacob - he is the dad, right?"

Nick sighed as he continued to work on fleshing out his paper, "Jacob took off as soon as he heard she was pregnant, typical deadbeat dad. She's over it though; I saw her this morning in the cafeteria, and she was devouring a banana- raisin muffin..." he shook his head, "but as for taking her to the dance, I'm not interested in her that way, we're just good friends."

Sapphire studied him for a moment, trying to read his face to see if he was trying to trick her, and finally she gave up. "Well she likes you, she won't stop talking about you."

Nick rolled his eyes, "I'm just a shoulder she cries on, it's not as if we're ever going any further with it, I'm not attracted to her." He thumbed at the doors Thad had recently gone through, "It's like you and him, I can't explain it, but I'm not interested."

Sapphire held up her hands, "Hey it's okay; oh, and you spelt necessary wrong..." she indicated with her pen to the word that was now flowing from the end of his biro pen. He stopped and mumbled a curse, liberally applying white-out to the loose-leaf page.

He checked the word again and continued with his writing, though the paper was secondary in his mind, as he tried to work out why he wasn't attracted to Daisy. She was a beautiful girl, pretty in a rural kind of fashion. Not to mention the fact that some benevolent god had gifted her...

But he just didn't look at her in that fashion. It was like looking at a sister; you could see everything and instantly know it was wrong to consider her in that way. Daisy had been his friend ever since he had been dragged to that godforsaken edge of nowhere by his father who was determined to start a new life for him and his boys. They had shared common interests, and that was great but that still wasn't enough for him to be attracted to her. Then there was the whole Jacob - baby thing.

He didn't understand how anyone could let themselves get pregnant. He had never been that in love, he guessed, never been in a relationship long enough to be swept up in the rush of emotions that led to `mistakes'.

The baby-trap was a danger every guy faced in that small town. Most of the intelligent guys who had steady girlfriends and a bright future ahead of them suddenly found that future snatched away from them by unscrupulous girlfriends who saw their boyfriends preparing to head off to university and leave them behind. Nothing killed the dream of a bright future like a bouncing bundle of joy dropping into the lap like a bombshell. That had been Daisy's goal; she had confessed it to Nick one night when they had been sitting up watching cheesy movies. Jacob was getting ready to go on to college to become a carpenter's apprentice. And rather than lose him, she had tried to catch him like so many others. Only Jacob wasn't like the other guys; the last anyone saw of him was him gassing up his car at the edge of town. He had run far and fast.

Nick swore that wasn't going to happen to him. He was a rare commodity, a young, intelligent man destined for university. He was attractive, if rather average. He wasn't an all-star athlete like "captain" Jeffery Sterling over in the corner, but he was still a prime target. And daddy wasn't something he wanted to add to his resume anytime soon.

He just kept his mouth shut as he worked on his paper. His education was his ticket out of that small town, a pothole on the road of life as he thought of it. He was destined for other things, go to university, get a good job. He would have a great house in the city and never have to worry about things again. His golden path was set, and he wasn't about to be derailed by a girl.

He set his pen down, "Done."

Sapphire looked up from her own homework; "You know I hate you, right?" she nodded to the paper, "You're the English department's golden boy. He that can do no wrong..." She rolled her eyes as he flashed her a smug smile, "And what makes it worse is that you know it too."

"Yep." Nick replied as he allowed his eyes to wander about the library, over the battered books and metal shelves that were typical of high school libraries everywhere. The librarian was still working to put the day's book returns back on the shelves. The announcement board that no one bothered to read, announced the Christmas Semi-Formal on Friday. And Jeffrey Sterling was watching him. He stopped and glanced back, but the captain had gone back to his textbook, and Nick shrugged it off. He was a sophomore, and beneath the notice of a senior. Shame really; Jeff was supposedly a good person to talk to, and if his reputation was to be believed, really good at getting the girls. He was one of those people everyone tried to emulate in one fashion or another; even Nick had to admit that he respected Jeff.

Nick yawned as he closed his books and glanced at his watch; the bell would go in a few minutes and then English class. Mister Greenwood would give them their review for the Christmas Finals. A good chance to re-examine the texts covered over the year, and Nick was secretly looking forward to challenging himself on the exam; he could prove that he had earned his grades for all the effortless papers he had written over the course of the year. "David just walked in." Sapphire's voice dropped to a whisper as she stared appreciatively at the Storm' goalie as he walked over to Jeff. He was also in their year, and a good athlete, even if he wasn't the best of students. He had earned his place on the school team that year. Nick liked David, they spoke occasionally, and mostly Nick helped David with his English assignments when they got a chance. Another throwback to their Freshman year when he and David had been paired up for a number of biology labs. It wasn't that they were friends, but rather they knew each other and worked well together. David had a way with the practical lab assignments that allowed Nick to work on the notes.

Nick glanced up and watched as David and Jeff talked by the windows, and Nick noticed it had started to snow again. He shuddered, glad he had brought his heavy winter coat with him. The winter was cold enough to cut to the bone, and that year it was especially severe. Rumour was that it was supposed to drop to minus-fifty later in the week. Toque-wearing weather.

He always looked stupid in a toque. He owned one, but refused to wear it unless the weather was exceptionally cold because he looked silly in the gaudy blue-and-white knitted hat with its bobble on top. But he had to admit it looked better than the silly fleece jester hat which Sapphire wore in the cold.

He grinned at her, "Snowing again."

She groaned catching sight of it herself, "Great, I'm taking the bus home tonight." She folded her arms in disgust, "No way I am walking in that."

Nick yawned again as he picked up his books and stood up, "It will be okay, only one more period to go, we should be home before the worst of it hits."

Sapphire picked up her own books, her eyes still locked on the drifting white snow building up outside, "Well maybe tomorrow will be a snow day."

Nick grinned at the pleasant thought, "Let's hope so."

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed reading that, I don't know where the idea inspiration to write it came from it just sort of came to me while I was on holiday. I'm weird like that. The last fic that I had up on here deleted itself :S so I'm hoping that won't happen again!**

**Beta'd by the one and only AaliyahXO, she's absolutely amazing, even though she's kind of mean, throughout the time I was on holiday she's sent me _plenty_ of pm's about how amazing the Heart episode was because she knew I couldn't watch it until I got back.**

**Anyway, Again I hope you enjoyed reading it. Feel free to review or Pm me! :D**


	2. Snowdrifts

It was the end of the day, and as usual Nick was running late for his bus. He sprinted through the halls of the school trying to get to his locker. He had been held up trying to finish a review problem with his physics teacher. Miss Brazier seemed in no hurry to explain it, expecting him to wait patiently while she droned on about how object A when pushed affected object B and produced object C as a result. He had enough trouble trying to grasp the concept, but when he had so little time until the bus left and he was stranded at school, he really hadn't given it his full attention.

Nick flew down a flight of stairs trying to get to the basement level of the school where, due to overcrowding, several banks of extra lockers had been set up. It was tucked away from the rest of the school beside the boiler room and the chemistry labs; due to its proximity away from the rest of the school, it was a favourite hangout for those kids looking to grab a smoke in the emergency exit well that led up to the student parking lot. A little bit of shelter from the wind.

He didn't mind having his locker down there; it was out of the way and he could always chat to Wes who was practically always hanging about the exit with some of his buddies. But Wes was off that day, and everyone else had gone home as soon as school let out, which meant that Nick was alone.

The ruined and battered door to his locker soon quickly soured his mood.

He stood and stared at the mess of his books turned out onto the floor, and his notes for various classes were scattered about, torn and disorganized. His heart sank as he dropped to pick them up, pushing them back into his locker in an effort to preserve them. He couldn't help but sigh dejectedly as he picked up the two halves of his English book, a faithful friend that had died valiantly. He tossed it into the locker after his notes and stood up; he didn't have time to report it that night, and would have to wait until the morning.

He stopped when he saw his coat was missing. Nick cursed loudly. Who the hell stole a coat from someone whilst there was a freezing cold snowstorm swirling around outside? It was so supremely cruel that it just fit some of the guys who went to Nick's high school. Nick reluctantly closed the door of his locker as best he could as it was now only on one hinge and tried to bend the twisted metal back into shape. He was screwed and he knew it.

Nick jogged back up to the main office of the school, but found it locked up; only a janitor was left behind whom was busy sweeping the floor. The janitor caught sight of Nick and shook his head. "They all went home, the storm. You'd better go home as well. There is a big snowstorm coming and it is already pretty messy out there!"

Nick nodded as he hurried through the halls to where the buses always waited day after day, hoping he wasn't too late.

He burst the doors wide open just in time to see the last bus pulling out of the parking lot and heading out into the street. Nick felt hope evaporate as he stood there watching large flakes of snow falling down around him. It didn't truly hit him how bad his situation was until he turned back to the doors to find they had locked behind him, he was trapped outside the school in the storm. He realized only then that the storm was much stronger than he had first thought. What he had seen when he had burst out of the school was only the view from the lee side of the building. He didn't realize the full danger ahead of him.

He pulled his plaid shirt closer about him in attempt to ward off the cold a little as he struggled down the hill the school was built upon. He was glad for once that he tried to keep up with the latest fashion and had worn a tee shirt under it, otherwise had he just been in his tee shirt.

He slipped a little on the icy sidewalk that had yet to be cleared, and managed to steady himself. His Aunt Leanne lived about ten minutes from his school; if he could make it there he would be able to call his dad for a lift home. He dreaded the prospect; his father hated it when he missed a bus. He could just hear the lecture now about responsibility and how he should take better care of his property. As if he wanted to be struggling through a snowstorm in just a thin shirt with no coat and no gloves.

He buried his hands into his armpits; trying to stay warm was critical. _It's not too far_, he just had to keep telling himself that. It didn't matter that the snow came down harder, that his cap brim was now forming a ledge of snow. As if on cue, the wind snatched it from his head and sent it sailing into an embankment.

He stared after it mournfully; short of his climbing through a four foot high snow bank which he simply wasn't dressed for, there was no way to get it back. He swore again, it just wasn't his day. He struggled onwards, determined to get out of the cold.

Nick didn't even notice as the black mustang slid to a halt beside him.

"Are you nuts?" the driver called as he rolled down his window.

Nick glanced over at the driver, Jeff, captain of the hockey team, and shivered, "I missed the bus," he explained, continuing to walk; if he stopped it meant he would be out in the cold longer, and why was Jeff stopping to talk to him anyway? They'd never really talked to each other around school, maybe Jeff was just there to gloat about the fact Nick was walking, _yeah that has to be it_ he mentally told himself

Jeff let the car coast along beside the snow-covered sophomore, "What happened to your coat?" he asked as he turned down the radio.

Nick shrugged; "Someone trashed my locker" he slipped again on a patch of ice and again managed to stay upright.

Jeff shook his head; "I can give you a lift, beats walking in this without a coat."

Nick looked over at the classic Mustang. Jeff's car was the envy of all the students at the school; it was a beautifully restored 1969 Coupe that seemed to epitomize Jeff. He embodied the kind of person that the car had been designed for, young and full of energy. He nodded as he crossed to the coupe and slid into the passenger seat, immediately glad of the car's heater, even though he was still soaked to the skin from the melting snow.

Jeff looked over at him and undid his seatbelt. Shrugging out of his varsity jacket he handed it over to Nick. "Here, put this on, you're soaked."

Nick's eyes widened a little but he still found himself accepting the treasured jacket; it was as much a part of Jeff's identity as the car was. He held it for a moment, feeling the soft leather in his hands, before he put it on. It was already warm from Jeff's body heat, and the combination of Jeff's sweat, cologne and worn leather assailed his nose. He relaxed wrapped in the warm coat and sank into the seat, glad just to be warm.

"So where am I taking you?" Jeff asked as he drove the car down the hill and onto the street.

"M-my aunt's should be g-good; I can ca-call my dad and g-get a lift home" Nick stammered

Jeff rolled his shoulders in a shrug, "Might as well take you straight home, rather than let this storm get worse." He gunned the engine and was satisfied that the tires had a firm grip on the snow-covered road surface. The ploughs hadn't been past yet so driving was treacherous and he kept it slow.

"Y-you don't h-have to do that." Nick mentally swore at himself for stammering again, "I m-mean, you've already done so mu-much"

"It's no problem at all," Jeff said in reply, flashing a signature heart-melting smile, "I was going to head to practice after school but with the storm it's probably best if I went home anyway. So where do you live?"

"Just outside of t-town - you know the, um the access road?" Nick replied as he weakly returned the smile, "It, It's the other side of Westerville."

Jeff grinned, "Not that far from me then, cool."

As they drove to the road, Nick found the snow was blowing so heavily that he could not see anything through the windshield. He could catch a glimpse of the road between snow gusts and he knew there was no traffic on the road in that area, especially during the storm. But Jeff seemed determined to go ahead. Nick felt a bit reassured when he took a look at the gasoline gauge. The car had almost a full tank.

On the westbound road Jeff drove the car onwards, pushing through the northern wind, into the darkness, where they could see nothing besides horizontally flying snow. The only thing Jeff could do to keep the car on the road was to look out the driver's-side window to keep an eye on the left edge of the road - taking advantage of his car to shield his view.

They could not drive more than five miles per hour. For the entire five miles before the first stop sign, the car stayed in first gear.

Nick had survived a few snow storms, one growing up in England, and one the year before when he had first arrived in Ohio travelling through vast curtains of falling snow; but this time it was so different: hundreds of tons of snow was flying in a fierce wind, so that he could not tell where the sky ended and the earth began, and there was almost no chance for them to take a breath or find any reference in the gusty wind. What is more, darkness was setting in. Nick started to become nervous, since Jeff could barely see five feet away, and he could slide the car off the road at any moment. Nick thought of urging him to go back into town, but it would be very difficult to make a three-point turn without running a wheel off the road. It was easier to keep going forward, in the meantime getting farther into the wildness.

Even so, Jeff had to come to a complete stop four times, the blowing snow was so dense. If it were not for the flying snow, they could have caught glimpses of the fields they were passing. The endless fields, lined up in rows and columns that stretched over 20 miles. Their emptiness in the night often gave Nick the feeling of an evil presence and he was relieved that he couldn't see them at all. It was as if the storm had enveloped the whole world!

As the car drifted through the snow Nick felt as if he were on a boat in a rough sea, or a leaf floating in the sky.

They came to a stop sign and made a right hand turn to the north; two miles further there was an S-curve where the road had a yield sign for CN trains. Since they were travelling north against the gusty wind, Jeff lost the advantage of having his car be a "vision shield" to let him see whether he was still on the road. The wind was blowing towards them; the snow would have been flying into their eyes if there had not been a windshield. The northbound road was worse, since the snow was thicker. Fortunately there was no oncoming traffic; otherwise they would have instantly collided with each other. The car finally managed to reach the S-curve. Nick became increasingly more nervous as they approached the curve, because it was there that he had run into the ditch on his first driving lesson, turning himself completely about on a still, sunny morning. It was also the same place that his Father had once run into a deer shortly after dusk. All in all it was just a bad curve.

Nick prayed not to run into a deer and not to skid on ice. Jeff finally managed to get through the curve while keeping the car on the road. It still took them about half an hour to cover the half-mile distance.

By going north for another mile they would come to the second stop sign at a T-junction, where they would turn left and go west. Although Jeff was only driving in first gear, he almost overshot the road into the ditch. Nick barely saw the stop sign on his right as the mustang travelled another 15 feet on the slippery road before coming to a full stop. Jeff blew out a sigh of relief as the car made the turn. Luckily there were no cars coming from either direction. Now Jeff could again take advantage of his car as a 'vision shield' so he could find the edge of the road through his left-hand window and stay on the road. Even so, several times they went very close to the left edge and almost drove off the road.

The gusting was stronger. It was as if the whole world was being wiped away.

Nick knew they would pass by a farmhouse on their right which was almost halfway home. Still, he completely missed the farmhouse, although the house had its driveway lights on and was only 20 feet from the road. He didn't realize this until he saw a dim light on his left-hand side. They were passing a substation, and it was the gates lithium light he saw which normally hurt his eyes from miles away. He felt some kind of warmth, because he was finally seeing something familiar. There were some wild trees on the roadside after the gate. He could barely see their silhouettes in the blowing snow. And he knew they would come to two more turns, and soon they would be on local highway 6.

He realized the reason he could see the outlines of the trees was that they cut the wind a little bit. He should have also realized that the nearby trees could also cause snowdrifts on the road, which could block any kind of traffic. Very soon they realized they were running into trouble. Snowdrifts extended across the whole area and piled up high, so that neither of them could see where the road was. This realization was so sudden that neither of them had time to think, but could only keep driving onward. Nick knew that if they stopped, the car would also turn into a snowdrift, with them buried in the blowing snow.

There was no squeal of brakes, no blaring horn, only the sudden smashing impact and the impossibly loud cries of screeching metal. The car lurched to the left, the back end swinging around on the wet, slushy pavement. The impact threw Nick against his seat belt so hard it cut off his breath. The car spun like a child's top, whipping almost a full 360 degrees as the back end flew into the ditch. Nick's neck snapped back when the car crunched to a halt. As suddenly as it started, it ended, leaving complete silence except for the rapid clicking of a ruined motor cooling in the night's grip.

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><p>Thankyou to the person who reviewed, and thankyou to everyone who put it on alert or favorite; it means so much to know that people are actually reading this :D And (again) a very special thanks to AaliyahXO for being my beta!<p>

Sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger, but the next chapter will be up _hopefully_ on Wednesday. Until then_ please_ leave a review or something? ;)


	3. Woah

At the moment they hit, Nick sensed they were going to die, he sensed they were in desperate trouble, he sensed that what he had heard of happening to other people was happening to them, he sensed that he might be dead and that his family were going to miss him, so many thoughts went through his head at once, just like a brilliant lightning flashing in the dark, illuminating the whole landscape, before everything returned to total darkness. Trembling he glanced over at Jeff, who sat with his hands clenched on the steering wheel breathing hard as he stared out of the cracked windscreen. He turned his head and caught Nick's eyes.

"Whoa..." was all he could manage to gasp out.

Nick shook his head to clear the shock as he looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was 5:40 p.m. He realized that it had taken them two hours to cover 10 miles. Yet there were still 10 more miles till any kind of town.

Jeff restarted the engine, which sputtered to life but it sounded ragged, like it would die at any moment. A quick check of the gasoline gauge showed that the tank was 90% full. He looked over at the shattered passenger side window. As the engine idled Jeff quickly patted himself down as he checked his clothes, before he stopped and looked over at Nick's, but he didn't have to check: Nick was still soaked, huddled in the leather varsity jacket and Jeff shook his head. "I just cleaned my car out this morning, I didn't think to put anything back into it. Though I might have a small blanket under your seat" he looked over at Nick for a moment weighing the options, eventually he just scrubbed his face, "What are we going to do?"

Nick sat quietly trying to think as Jeff tried to rock the car back and forth to see if he would have any luck getting it out. He failed. He knew the more he tried that, the more trouble they might get into. Many ideas and options spun through his mind, but none of them seemed possible. In frustration Jeff shut the engine off to preserve gas.

"We could use the horn," Nick offered, shivering as he looked out of his shattered window at the snow that blew past him, feeling the heat rushing out of the car. "Some one might hear us and come to the rescue." He recalled that in many stories, people used various ways to send out "SOS" signals, "Try tapping out a Morse code, long and short signals?" It was a lame suggestion he knew, but all he could think of.

"SOS?" Jeff asked as he tried "long-short-long," "short-long-short," with both horn and headlights. But it was to no effect. Finally he stopped and couldn't help laughing at himself. Nick chuckled as well, in such a stormy night with the wind roaring, miles from anywhere, who would hear the horn? Who would see their lights? It was the same as his not being able to hear anything but the blasting wind; he could not see anything but blowing snow. Even if anyone could see or hear them, it would have been all but impossible for them to get through in such a bad weather.

Nick suddenly felt very insignificant as he reached under the seat to pull out Jeff's blanket, one of the small thermal kind that was really just a square of fleece cloth. He held it as he shivered again, looking over at the man who had come to his rescue only to fall victim to the storm as well. He felt guilty suddenly, as if it was his fault they were stranded.

Jeff, as if reading his mind, shook his head and offered him a half-smile. "We'll be okay," he said reassuringly before he looked out of the window at the driving snow, "There'll be a plough along soon, or a car, or something, and we'll just flag them down and get them to help us."

To break the dull sound of blowing snow through the broken window, he turned on the radio. Lively music instantly filled the car and he brightened, "Look, at least we still get some decent tunes."

Nick smiled in return; at least they weren't totally isolated from civilization. "Government has issued a severe winter storm warning 45-60 cm of snow are expected to fall in the region by morning. Temperatures are expected to remain around the freezing for the next few hours then fall rapidly to minus 20. Sustained winds North by Northwest of 30 km/h gusting to 55 km/h, there is an extreme wind-chill warning in effect with the wind-chill factor approaching -45 degrees later this evening.." a voice cackled through the, usually, extremely high quality speakers.

Sub-zero temperatures! Forty below! Nick shuddered at the thought, shivering again as he stared out at the snow again. He always hated the cold, and it would be a truly cruel fate for him to die that way.

"Residents are being advised not to leave their homes except in cases of extreme emergency. The following road closures are in effect..." the voice continued.

The rest of the broadcast was a series of road and school closing announcements for the next day. At least Sapphire's hopes of a snow day were confirmed. With the trembling voice of the broadcaster, Nick started to feel a trembling too. He recalled the last time when there had been severe weather. The advisory was, "Don't go out unless necessary." Apparently this time it was a very bad and rare weather situation.

Jeff caught him tremble and a look of concern crossed his face. He smiled and said, "Well, they don't have to come out, but we have to stay here," It was a feeble attempt at humour, but it still made his passenger smile.

"I'm sorry Jeff," Nick began, realizing his teeth were beginning to chatter, "I should have just gone to my aunt's."

Jeff shrugged, "And then I would be here alone. I take this road home every day so I'd be stuck here anyway." He stopped, noticing Nick's lack of attention and increased shivering. He tried to restart the car.

His look of concern became one of worry as he heard an unusual sound from the engine - like someone had used a blanket to choke the engine. A low and continuous engine blowing sound persisted.

"I just got this car fixed!" He exclaimed.

Jeff rubbed the window and stared out at the snow drifting up beside the car and realized that the snow had covered the exhaust pipe so the engine could not breathe. Nick glanced up and noticed that the snowdrift had already piled up so high on the left hand side that the side window was covered. Half of the car was completely under snow.

Jeff looked over at Nick who was watching him silently in concern trying to wrap himself into the blanket to stay warm as the heat was quickly pulled from the body of the car no longer able to heat itself. He reached into the glove box of the car and fished out a small book and began to flip through it.

Nick continued to watch him as he did so trying desperately to say something, but his words kept coming out as incoherent phrases between the stammering and the chattering of his teeth. In the end he just gestured at the book.

Jeff glanced up and offered a tight smile, "Hypothermia," he began to read as he showed Nick the cover of the small scouts survival booklet, "The treatment for hypothermia requires that the body core temperature be raised to a normal level, aided by outside sources of heat. Some recommended suggestions include: stripping the victim, who is then placed into a sleeping bag along with one or two likewise attired companions, in such a situation there's no room for modesty..."

Nick blinked, was Jeff serious?

"Get `em off now!" Jeff directed already reaching out to begin to unbutton Nick's shirt.

Nick could do nothing but sit there, leaning forward when told to do so, so that Jeff could take his shirt off. He shivered a moment pulling the blanket around him as Jeff worked his trousers off. He tried to focus, but all he wanted to do was fall asleep. He yawned loudly.

"Don't even think about it Nick." Jeff threatened as he peeled off his own shirt, "Stay with me and don't fall asleep."

He yawned again, and he had vague recollections of consciousness, of feeling warmth wrapped about him, of the strong smell of perspiration and cologne, of someone talking.

* * *

><p>He opened his eyes again and blinked at the pair of brown eyes staring into his own; he focused and glanced about him. "What?"<p>

"You're back then." Jeff said, his voice husky with emotion, "I was worried..."

Nick shifted and realized Jeff was holding him gently keeping him warm with his own body heat. His cheeks immediately reddened at the intimacy of the moment. "W-what time is it?" he stammered.

"Close to nine thirty." Jeff replied, his breath frosting in the cold air of the rest of the car, he had somehow wrestled Nick into the back seat where they were now huddled for survival.

They had been stranded out in the cold for hours. Some one had to be missing them, to report that they were still out in the storm. If not Nick's parents then Jeff's mother.

The snow was still blowing constantly and Nick oddly felt privileged to be watching the blizzard from so close. The brunet appreciated the fact that he was still comfortable too. His cheek brushed Jeff's, feeling the sandpapery texture of a five o'clock shadow and the soft smell of his skin. He swallowed as he stared up at the snow. The snow was flying horizontally past his eyes. The whole world was flying horizontally.

He felt sleepy and tired laying there. So he lay there staring upwards. He saw that Jeff had been inventive; the broken window had been patched with the floor mats. Only then did he realize that the ceiling of the car was much smaller in size than he had thought, in relation to the car, since he was able to see out the windows on all four sides, and the square ceiling was only a small barrier between them and the sky.

He felt insignificant in the mighty storm. Like he was just a tiny powerless creature trying to survive in the anger of Mother Nature. He started to laugh at himself for the naive attempt earlier to send out signals for help. It was no use at all! Even a village, a town, or a city, could be wiped out, or simply engulfed, if the storm got really ferocious.

In front of the mighty storm, all political struggles in human society seemed meaningless, not to mention personal fights. What were they for? Everything could just be erased! In the face of such a true power human conflict was so childish. Mankind had so many dangerous enemies already in the world around him that he didn't need to fight his own kind as well.

Through the side window, the twinkle of a star reached his eyes in between the snow gusts. "Hey! I am able to see the sky!" he managed and felt Jeff shift to see for himself; it was a small sliver of hope that the storm might diminish in strength.

"I told you we would be okay," Jeff said with a calm smile, "we're warm at least..." he suddenly chuckled as if he found something funny.

"What?" Nick asked feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

Jeff bit his lip as he looked down at the pair of them curled up in just their underwear beneath a pitifully small blanket, "Its just, I didn't expect the first time I would be doing this in the back seat of a car would be with a guy."

Nick chuckled, "Ditto." He stopped and looked into Jeff's eyes, "You mean you've never, I mean it's okay, it's just that you have a reputation."

Jeff hesitated as if considering what to say, or how much he trusted this virtual stranger who he was now entwined with. He nodded after a moment, "Nope, never have. No reason really. I just didn't." He grinned, "Though Quinn keeps trying to corner me."

Nick laughed; Quinn was a cheerleader with an appetite for men that had earned her a reputation for being easy. "Yeah she got David from what I hear."

"What about you?" Jeff asked turning the conversation back on Nick, "Aren't you and that Daisy girl together?"

Nick shook his head, "No, she's, I just..." he trailed off.

Jeff squeezed Nick's arm in understanding, "No I get it. I think that's why I've been single. I am going to University next year, getting the hell away from here, although people think I'm dumb and stuff, I just want to actually make something of my life."

Nick leaned on Jeff's other arm, "I don't think you're dumb" he smiled "Where do you want to go?"

"I got a scholarship to go to UNB, I want to go on to Law school" Jeff seemed mildly embarrassed although Nick wasn't sure whether it was because of the fact Nick didn't think he was dumb or if it was because of the confession about law school. The brunet soon decided it was because of the latter part.

"That's great," Nick said, "I've got my sights set on a university in New York."

"I'm sure it's an amazing school, especially if you're going. You get top marks at pretty much everything," Jeff replied, he moved his arm so that it now rested along Nick's side, "Any ideas what you want to do?"

Nick shook his head, "None. I just know I want to get as far away from here as I can."

Jeff studied him for moment, "You really hate it here?"

Nick shrugged as he tried to express how he felt in words, "I don't fit here. And my dad can't wait to just get on with his new life..."

"New life?" Jeff questioned.

Nick let out a heavy breath again, not exactly sure why he was opening up to someone he barely knew, telling him the personal things about himself, but as it stood there was a strong chance they wouldn't survive the night stranded without heat in the car. He looked at the eyes, really the only thing he could see in the gloom of the backseat and decided to just keep talking.

"My dad remarried, it was the reason we moved here. He wanted to start a new family." He sighed, "I just don't fit into that very well, I remind him of everything he tried to leave behind when he came here."

"He takes it out on you?" Jeff asked, his fingers brushing Nick's shoulder lightly, absently.

Nick nodded, "He resents me for it, but I only have a year to go then I can leave and he gets what he wants, _his_ new life."

"What about your mom?" Jeff asked growing rather curious about this boys family life.

Nick looked down for a moment and sighed, "No idea, she took off and left a long time ago. So it's just me."

"My dad died last year," Jeff confessed, "Just my mom and I now, and she's pretty cut up about me leaving Ohio to go to UNB. But I just have to go somewhere else for a bit. I am thinking of doing Law School here though." He stared up at the snow covered rear window "I like it here, it's my..."

"It's your home." Nick finished for him nodding lightly, "I just haven't found mine yet."

"It's just a matter of finding yourself first." Jeff returned, "My dad always said that to me, I don't know who I am yet."

"You're the Jeffrey Sterling." Nick said with a wry grin, "You're athlete of the year, set to be valedictorian as well. Half the school worships you."

He felt Jeff chuckle and adjust himself to press warmly against Nick's stomach, "True, but you're the one and only Nicholas Duval; every one knows you're a real wiz at writing papers."

"Really?" Nick asked, "I guess that kinda' makes me a geek or something?"

Jeff laughed again, "Nah, too many people jealous of it. I watched you working in the library this afternoon with that Sapphire girl, who dates that shop Jock..."

"Wes?" Nick supplied.

"Yeah Wes, Anyway I watched you write a paper in, like, half-an-hour. How'd you do it so fast?" he shook his head in wonder "You're going to do well at University where papers and stuff are more important than exams."

Nick nodded, "Yeah, try telling my Dad that. He keeps yelling at me over my math scores."

"He's just an asshole." Jeff said before realising what had just slipped from his mouth and freezing instantly, "I didn't mean, I'm sorry, I..."

Nick laughed at Jeff's sudden awkwardness, "No, its okay; the Major is an asshole, I know that. As I said, one more year."

"Why do you do that?" Jeff asked suddenly.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Call your dad 'the Major'?"

Nick shrugged, "He is one, British Army, he's stationed here as a liaison officer. Growing up every one just called him the major, I guess I did too."

"You don't call him 'Dad'?" Jeff seemed fascinated by something which Nick just took for granted.

Nick nodded, "I do, but hates it; like I said earlier, I don't really fit into his 'perfect family' image, So I guess I just always just called him 'the Major.'"

"You're dad is strange.' Jeff said with a frown. "You would have thought he would be pleased to have an A grade student for a son."

Nick sighed, "Well obviously not."

* * *

><p><strong>They're both fine :D! I wasn't planning on killing or harming them, they just needed a chance to talk.<strong>

**Thankyou thankyou thankyou for the reviews you're all so sweet.**

** I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter, as always please review. And i'm not to sure when the next chapter will be up but it wont be too long! x**


	4. So called family

They must have talked all night, simply lying there in the car listening to the sound of the wind blowing the snow outside their makeshift shelter. They had just talked about anything and everything that came to their minds. They just opened up, why hold back? It was as if they needed to learn about the person lying beside them. As if by their physical contact they also had to form a mental and emotional one to survive.

Nick had talked about his home in England, of his family and eventual dreams to go home. Hopes and dreams were something he seldom confessed, but he found he could just say them; Jeff wasn't going to judge him for them, or hold them against him. In fact Jeff followed by sharing his own dreams.

"I want a nice town house," he confessed as he brushed away a piece of lint that had fallen onto Nick's cheek, "I don't want to live out in the country anymore, I want to be downtown, where the life is." He sighed, "I know it's not as exotic as living in another country..."

"England isn't exactly exotic," Nick admitted a little flushed, "it's dirty and grimy in places, and there are so many people. But when you are up on the downs early in the morning it's beautiful."

Jeff nodded as he rolled over to look at the dashboard clock, "Hey its six already" he chuckled.

Nick sat upright, adjusting the blanket so he wouldn't be cold, "What do we do now?"

Jeff reluctantly sat up beside Nick, claiming back half the covers and pressing up against his companion for warmth, "I guess we should see if it's still snowing outside. If it isn't we should try to get help."

Nick reached into the front of the car and picked up his clothes, still damp, but nothing that wouldn't dry with a little body heat. He sat back down with them in his lap. "I didn't say thank you for last night."

Jeff looked at him for a moment, just watching him, and then he spoke, "Its no problem, thanks for waking up, you actually managed to scare me for a while when you fell asleep." He threw an arm up and around Nick one last time and drew him close.

Nick relaxed in the embrace, after a night of being intimate by circumstance he too was reluctant to let go. It had been an emotional night, and there was something about sharing a struggle for survival with another human being that made you close to them. He just sat there, breathing in that now all too familiar scent of cologne and skin.

"Alright then," he said as he gave Nick a friendly pat on the shoulder and released the hug, "time to get dressed." He reached into the front for his own clothes and began to pull them on. "If we're lucky we should be able to reach one of those farm houses we passed earlier last night."

Nick nodded as he did up his shirt, "Going to be a bit of a hike."

Jeff smiled as he tossed Nick his jacket, "Here wear that again, I'm going to..." he produced a small pocket-knife and began to cut a hole in the blanket; moments later he donned it like a poncho. "Not exactly Don Quixote but it should keep me warm."

Nick couldn't help but smile; Jeff was adorable. _Wait, adorable? Where did that come from?_

Jeff stared down at himself and grinned lopsidedly, "Well that's it, its official, I look stupid."

Nick tugged on his shoes and bit down on his lip trying his hardest not to laugh. "How do we get out if the car is snowed under?" he asked.

Jeff slipped into the front seat and tried the passenger side door. After putting his full weight into it he managed to get it to open, a few more tries and he was able to step out into the cold January morning.

Nick slipped out behind him and stared around at the white landscape. Snow clung to everything, smothering the world beneath it and it took Nick a moment to figure out exactly what had happened the night before.

The car had somehow managed to leap an embankment and leave the road only to end up in a field. As Jeff struggled down the embankment he pointed to the snowdrift they had hit.

"We must have hit that like a ski-jump." He struggled down onto the road, and examined the freshly ploughed and salted road.

Nick struggled down behind, jumping over a snow bank and sliding to a halt beside Jeff. "How come we didn't hear the plow go by?" he asked looking about him, pulling Jeff's jacket closer about his lean frame.

Jeff narrowed his eyes as he stared up the road, "The snow must have muffled it, or we were too far away from the road." He glanced behind him at the trail of devastation that led to a mound of snow with an all too familiar Mustang logo sticking out of it on a battered fender.

Nick swallowed, how had they survived? From where he stood it looked hopeless. He felt himself begin to shiver again.

"We can't stay here." Jeff said as he turned and placed a hand on Nick's shoulder, "there has to be a house or something close by."

They trudged along the road for a good half hour before they were spotted. A passing elderly couple in a station wagon stopped while Jeff flagged them down. A quick explanation saw the pair loaded into the back and driven to the nearest R.C.M.P. station. While the police officer on duty phoned their parents, the assistant passed them cup after cup of warm coffee and she checked them both over for injuries.

* * *

><p>Jeff's mother Micheline arrived first, the short spitfire of a woman burst through the doors of the station - firing question after question at the Policeman in rapid succession. It was hard to tell if she was speaking French or English, but only after she caught sight of Jeff and had a hold of him was she capable of holding a conversation.<p>

Jeff explained to her about the accident, and Nick noticed he chose not to mention the details of their night huddled in the car. Some things didn't need to be said, and Nick was in total agreement about that. He watched her tearful examination of her son for any injuries, and of her obvious relief at finding none.

Nick's dad's arrival was a lot more sedate. He marched through the doors with a bearing that only his years in the army had bred in him. A cold assessment told him everything he needed to know about the situation, and he addressed the Officer on duty as if he were addressing a man under his command. Every question was precise, clipped. The Major asking his troops for a report. When he had concluded his debriefing he finally moved across to look down at his son.

"Are you alright?" he asked, studying his son's dishevelled appearance and borrowed jacket. Even at that moment there was no familiarity permitted, there was no warmth.

Nick nodded silently somewhat disappointed, he had hoped his dad would a least show a little sympathy, or something. You simply didn't admit weakness to the major. To do so would garner a look of disgust that Nick had grown up to fear. He simply stood up and set his mug of coffee aside. "I'm fine sir."

The Major only nodded, considering him a moment before he looked over at Jeff and his mother, he didn't say a word as he turned and marched back to the Police officer to find out if Nick was permitted to leave. Micheline followed him with her eyes, before she looked at Nick again. She patted Jeff on the cheek and then joined Nick's father at the counter.

Nick began to take off Jeff's jacket to hand it back to him, but Jeff simply shook his head, "Give it back to me at school." He reached out one final time to touch Nick's shoulder, "I'm glad you're okay."

Nick nodded, "Thank you, for everything."

Jeff just smiled warmly, "See ya' Duval."

Nick half smiled in return.

The drive home passed in near silence, the Bronco bouncing along the freshly ploughed roads as his father drove confidently towards the farmhouse. Nick sat still huddled in Jeff's jacket still aware of the smell of cologne and sweat that hung to it. Memories of his experience still fresh in his mind while he struggled to find a meaning to it.

_Why had Jeff been so nice to him throughout the whole time? Why had Jeff even stopped to offer him a lift home? How did Jeff even know his name? _And most importantly: _How will Jeff act when they get back to school?_

When the Bronco turned into the drive his father pulled to a stop and looked at his son, "Why were you in a car last night, and where is your jacket?"

Nick glanced up at his father and shrugged, "I missed my bus, Jeff offered to give me a lift home, we hit a snowdrift and lost control. The reason I was late was because someone stole my jacket."

"You were being picked on." The Major rolled the words out with a vehemence that spoke of his disgust.

Nick shook his head, "They had no way of knowing whose locker they broke into, I tried to report it but everyone had already left. So I decided to walk to Aunt Leanne's."

The Major considered this for a moment, "You were walking in a storm without a coat on?"

Nick shrugged, "I figured it was only a short walk to Leanne's and from there I would be fine."

His father flipped open the door and got out of the truck, slamming it closed as Nick got out the other side. He studied his son again, "You're lucky that other boy came along when he did." Nick nodded silently as his father continued, "Its probably a good thing you have a friend like him, you could learn something about responsibility." He stepped into the kitchen and pulled off his boots, already crossing to the coffee pot.

Nick followed him inside, shrugging off the jacket, "Your right, I probably could, he's the Captain of the Hockey team."

The Major snorted as he poured himself a cup of the strong coffee he always seemed to have on hand, "Hockey," he returned to the kitchen table and sat down, "I suppose its better than nothing, go get showered and changed and report back here, your mother will make breakfast soon."

Nick's stomach tightened; as if _that _woman was _his_ mother, she hated him, but Nick remained silent. He knew better then to argue with the Major. Nick inclined his head and slipped away. He was thankful to be away for a short period of time his father was in a strange mood, and Nick was glad to finally have a chance to get cleaned up.

Refreshed and changed he returned to the kitchen and the chaos that reigned there. Jackie was already rattling pots, smoking heavily as she angrily slammed a heavy pot onto the range. He could sense her hostility as he sat down at the table. She was obviously angered at being awoken so early in the day just to make Nick breakfast. He decided it best to simply stay out of her way that morning.

Lucy burbled at him, happily looking up from her high chair as she played with her spoon. He smiled down at her and, when no one was looking gave her a wink. She burbled again and beamed at him, reaching out to take his finger.

"Nicky" she burbled again.

"Leave her alone." Jackie commented as she threw some oats into the pot of boiling water. It was oatmeal again, the true breakfast of champions. His stomach constricted inside, but he said nothing and returned to looking at Lucy.

She was beautiful to him, the only thing about that house that had any life left. She was only his half sister, and the reason he felt as though he didn't belong there. But that wasn't her fault, she was completely innocent and totally deserving of his attention. In fact he felt closer to her than with his father or his wife Jackie. And in a way she was closer to him than she was to either of them.

'Nicky' had been her first word. Much to Jackie's annoyance, something he hadn't deliberately taught her either, it had just happened and when it had come time for her to take her first hesitant steps. They had been towards him, away from her mother. It only seemed to reinforce the resentment Jackie felt towards him, she did her best to limit their time together, but there was always Sunday nights, when she went with the Major to the legion. On those nights Nick was left to care for Lucy, and he craved those nights, when he would simply sit on the edge of her bed reading her story after story. In a way he was able to give her some of the attention he had never had.

"I said leave her alone." Jackie stated forcefully as she slammed the steaming bowl of porridge oats down in front of him.

He hid his shallow smile as he set into the vile concoction, stirring it about as he stared out of the window at the cold day beyond.

* * *

><p><strong>I wasn't going to put this up till tomorrow but it's going to take a little longer then usual to get up the next chapter as it hasn't already been pre-written like the previous chapters. Also, my beta is going on holiday so your going to have to bare with me if I make any major mistakes; I apologize in advance for that.<strong>

**As usual I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review! x**


	5. Invitation

Nick felt a new trepidation as he walked through the front doors of the High School and into the lobby. He was early that morning, his bus usually dropped him off at the school a half hour before it was due to begin, a great chance to socialize with his friends before the rush of the day swept them off. And it was a great chance for him to get his hands on a cup of coffee.

Sapphire always brought a thermos and a couple of her mother's muffins with her each morning which she was always ready to share with Nick, knowing all to well what breakfast was usually served to 'Major Duval's troops'. He grinned at her as he sat down dropping his backpack alongside the table and accepting the mug she handed him with a sigh of relief.

"Anyone ever tell you your beautiful first thing in the morning?" He said as he took a pull on the cup, feeling the rush of the warm liquid down his throat.

"Your such a flirt Duval!" she accused him as she began to unwrap the muffins. "My mom wants your opinion on this batch of muffins," she said matter of factly, "she was experimenting and since you eat just about anything..."

He picked up the muffin and sniffed it carefully, "Banana?" he asked.

She nodded watching him break into it, she didn't mind brining him an extra muffin each morning, her mother had practically insisted after she had heard the oatmeal story. Her mother was fond of Nick in that maternal way with good reason; he needed someone to shower him with affection. Sapphires's Mom, June Atkins, was just one of those phenomenal women that seemed to care for just about every one without a second thought. He had, on several occasions, been subjected to her temper after one of their pranks had backfired, and he loved her in return. She was just a cool mother.

"Isn't that a Storm jacket?" she asked as she picked at her own muffin lazily.

Nick stopped and glanced down at the jacket he had slung over the back of the chair and he looked up at her, "Yeah Jeff leant it to me..."

"Jeffrey Sterling?" she asked incredulously, her muffin forgotten for the moment.

He bit down on his lip as he nodded, "Yes."

She gave him one of her looks that demanded he tell her everything, but before he could David had joined their table.

"Hey guys," he said as he flopped into his chair pushing his raiders cap out of his eyes and staring at them with a look that said mornings were not his favourite time of the day. "Nick, biology lab did you get the notes written up?"

Nick rooted in his backpack and produced the notes cleanly prepared; he separated David's copy and handed it over to him. "All done. I was out of it yesterday but it's all done."

David smiled, "Cool, thanks eh?" he turned to Sapphire, "Did you hear they're cancelling the Dance? There's supposed to be a heavy storm that night and they don't want to risk it."

She pushed her muffin away from her in disgust, "Well there go my plans."

David grinned, "No, cause my parents are out of town this weekend," he held up a set of house keys.

Sapphire's eyes lit up, "I could kiss you!"

"Umm," Nick held up his hand, "you have a boyfriend remember?"

She scowled, "Yeah if he ever shows up. She sat back into her chair and looked over at David, "What times the party?"

"I have a couple of the boy's driving over to the shop to buy some Liquor so any time after eight people should be showing up." He rested a foot on the edge of the table and gave her a grin; "You can bring Wes if you want."

Nick sat quietly watching the exchange, he was an afterthought. What did it matter though; it wasn't as if he would actually be able to go to it. He downed his coffee and fished in his bag for his math textbook, he might as well get started on those quadratic problems he had procrastinated over.

"Party David?" Jeff's voice caused Nick's head to shoot up. Jeff was standing leaning with both hands on David's shoulders looking down at his teammate.

"Yeah Dude," David replied arcing his head back to look up, "My place on Friday night. Be there."

"Cool." Jeff said motioning to the empty chair at the table, "That taken?" he asked looking at Nick.

Nick shook his head, "Nope."

"Good." Jeff said as he sat down and smiled over at Nick, "You get home okay yesterday?"

Nick nodded, "My Dad was mad at first, about the coat thing, but he got over it."

"That's good." Jeff said nonchalantly as he leaned his chair back on two legs and looked around the cafeteria, "Do you still need my jacket?"

Nick took it off the back of his chair and handed it back across the table. Jeff accepted it and shrugged it on.

Sapphire and David exchanged a look that said they were confused, but Nick didn't feel like elaborating. He smiled at Jeff, "Thankyou, again."

"All part of the service," Jeff winked extending his hands as he grinned, "Your coming to David's party Friday right?"

Nick balked, he hadn't thought about it, "I, er, well..."

Jeff glanced at David, "It's okay if Duval here comes to the festivities right? My guest?"

David nodded emphatically, "Sure, he's always invited. He's the reason I am passing biology."

"Actually," Nick said with a smile, "You do all the work I just write it up, so technically you're the reason I'm passing."

Jeff gave a satisfied nod as he stood up, "Cool, now I have to go find out what's going on at the gym. Catch you all later." He stood up and smiled, "Take care Duval." He said hesitating a moment and smiling again before he left.

David excused himself and left with Jeff leaving Nick in the clutches of one very confused, but very determined Sapphire.

"What was that?" she asked her voice raised an octave.

"What was what?" Nick replied as he looked at her.

She pointed the back of the Captain of the school team, "What was that?"

"Jeffrey Sterling I think." Nick replied sarcastically with a grin as he poured himself another cup of coffee from the thermos.

"Don't get cute with me Duval." Her voice took on an edge of warning, "First you turn up with his jacket, then he joins us at our table and then he invites you to a party," she looked at her friend, "And what was that whole 'take care Duval,' thing about?"

Nick shrugged, "He gave me a ride home on Monday night after some jerk stole my jacket. We got stranded in a snow bank and spent the night trapped in the car. Its no big deal."

"Oh my god." She said her eyes wide in shock, "That's like a movie, did you eat each other?"

He turned his head and raised and eyebrow at her, "What?"

"Like that movie alive where the plane crashes and they eat each other to stay alive." She smiled.

Nick shook his head chuckling, "No, it was just a cold night, we just talked."

She nodded, "Well that explains that, Cool so you're friends with the Captain of the team, that's like circle jumping and since I'm your best friend I get to jump with you. Hello popularity! I need a new wardrobe..."

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shrill otherwise known as the morning bell. And they both stood to head for class.

* * *

><p>Lunch came entirely too quickly for Nick, it seemed as though he had blinked and he was heading down towards his locker. It had been a surreal day for him, Jeff always seemed to be about, either passing him in the halls and nodding, or already in the places he was heading. Purely coincidence. It wasn't as if he was following Nick, just that Nick hadn't really paid attention to how small the school really was.<p>

It only had 400 students spread out across five years, and everyone knew everyone else. There were still the usual social divisions that existed in schools everywhere, but here they weren't as important, and often the social lines were blurred. But each time Jeff nodded and said 'Hi' to him people noticed. There were even a couple of cheerleaders that stared at him in a whole new light. If he was worthy of Jeffrey Sterling's notice then they had to notice as well.

He was glad just to be away from the attention as he slipped into the basement heading for his locker. He drew up short when he saw the door had been hammered back into shape and reinforced with new brackets. He stared at it dumbfounded for a moment; the maintenance staff were never that quick.

"It's just a locker Dude." Wes said leaning on the row of lockers beside Nick, "Sapphire told me what happened so I borrowed some tools from the shop."

Nick grinned at Sapphire's boyfriend; Wes was the schools living legend that never seemed to break his stride. The teachers hated him, other students were jealous of him, but he never let that get him down, he was just one of those people that did what made him happy. A free spirit.

Nick smiled at him, "You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah I did." Wes said with a nod, "I also found something of yours..." he held up Nick's jacket, "Callum Morgan had it and was bragging to his stoner buddies. I convinced him it didn't look good on him," he shrugged, "He was very sorry after I nearly broke his nose."

Nick accepted his coat gratefully, one less worry he had to think about. He put the ski jacket away in his locker and turned back to Wes. "Thanks. I owe you!"

Wes nodded, "Yeah you do, now I'm going out for a smoke before you get all sappy an' shit."

Nick laughed watching Wes retreat to the emergency exit, another man that watched out for him. He suddenly felt very lucky, not a bad week so far. He turned to head back upstairs and nearly walked right into Daisy.

"Nick." She said in surprise, "I've been looking all over for you."

He allowed himself a smile at her, she was only four months pregnant but she was beginning to have difficulty hiding it. But no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn't attracted to her.

"I've been around," he said quietly, "I just had to get my coat back."

"I heard your going to David's party," She set herself to rest on the stair rail, "I'm going as well. If you want we could head over there together. It would save some time and I would have someone to talk to."

He winced inwardly at the thought, he liked her, and he really did. She was a wonderful person, they had such a good connection, but tying himself to her at the party? It was his first chance to do something social, and Sapphire was going to be there.

Typically he caved, "Sure thing, I'll swing by yours Friday night and we'll walk over."

She gave him a warm hug, "Thank you."

He tried to appear enthusiastic, "Sure, no problem..."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry that the last 3 chapters have just been fillers, next chapter - Jeff admits he has feelings for Nick and they share a first kiss, woop! :D.<strong>

**To the person that reviewed anonymously; Don't worry my family's like that too, if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm. I know what it's like to feel like you have no-one and you just want someone to talk to.**

**Follow me on tumblr? xshannonruth**


	6. Hockey player

_Nick drew back to look at Jeff sitting in his embrace, those eyes looking at him with that same look they had when he had awoken to them in the car. They were questioning, concerned._

_"Are you alright?" Jeff asked as they sat in the back of his car, pressed up against each other. Nick felt the heat of his body, but this time it wasn't about survival it was about something more desperate. He leaned in to kiss Jeff, to hell with the world._

_Nick's tongue explored that mouth hungrily, needing to be there. It was his right to be there. He felt Jeff's skin against his own. There was that smell of sweat and cologne that aroused him more than anything else in his life. He needed the comfort; the safety and Jeff had given him that. And as they played with the kiss, he felt Jeff's hands playing on his arm, drifting gently down as they had when he had tried to warm him before, but this time it wasn't as vigorous, it was slow, as Nick savored the sensation._

_Jeff rose slightly, not breaking the kiss, turning Nick onto his back as he drew himself against the younger teenager, and Nick wanted nothing more than to stay there, safe and warm beneath the man who had risked everything to save him. There was passion in those eyes, a burning need._

He collapsed back to the bed, sweating, realizing he had a dream. It had felt so real, the sensations, the feelings of Jeff against his skin. He lay there panting awhile, thinking about the dream and how real it had felt; he sat in quiet shock on the edge of his bed, pulling the heavy down comforter around his shoulders to keep him warm in the chill air.

What the hell was that about? He shook his head trying to clear it. Why was he dreaming about Jeff in _that_ way? Jeff was straight. Nick was straight. Which meant nothing would ever happen between them like that. Infact Nick didn't want anything like that to happen between them.

He lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling hearing the cracking of the house settling, his eyes wide and fearful. Why? It was probably just the intensity of the moment, trapped in a car, desperately relying on each other to stay alive. The intimacy that came with being that close to someone for so long. That had to be it. You weren't gay if you weren't attracted to boys. When Nick asked himself if he was attracted to guys, he answered no firmly. But when he asked himself if he was attracted to Jeffrey Sterling... he couldn't answer it. How could he after a dream like that? No, he decided, he wasn't gay; it was just a bad dream, or good dream depending on how he looked at it. He grinned at that thought as he rolled himself over into his covers and pulled them close about him, laying staring at the red digits on his alarm clock: 6:00. He would have to get up soon and go to school. But then David's party was tonight and he was excited about it.

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing as he pulled the front door of David's house closed behind him. He wasn't used to house parties and wanted some air. He was enjoying himself, there was so much happening around him and it was great to meet so many of the people he knew from school outside of that setting, in a place where they could just relax and be themselves. David was a great host; he had opened up the den in the basement as well as the upstairs and a lot of the guests had split up among the various rooms. But, like every get-together he had been to in Ohio, the real party was in the kitchen. Sapphire had perched herself on the edge of a countertop and was feverishly discussing her opinions on the American political system trying to defend her liberal stance to a group of die-hard young conservatives.<p>

Wes seemed to have adopted the ethical high ground for the debate, injecting his own viewpoints when things became too heated. As usual his balanced temperament and strong personality gave him an edge when it came to expressing his thoughts on what was right and wrong. Both he and Sapphire seemed to be quite worked up, dominating opposite viewpoints.

Nick had tried to join the debate, but his glaring lack of knowledge about American politics left him at a disadvantage, and he soon found he was out of his league. He had watched the two verbally spar with each other for a while, before he had found his attention wandering and he had sought some other conversation.

Unfortunately that meant Daisy. She seemed quite morose at the party, preferring to stay close to him and trying to retain his attention while he circled the party. At first he had felt sorry for her and kept trying to draw her into the friendly conversations he was having. But she wasn't there to chat with other people; she seemed only interested when he talked to her. After an hour he felt smothered, and was desperate just to get some air for a while. He made a feeble excuse about the washroom and beat a hasty exit.

He stood in the cold on David's front stoop clasping his arms about him, watching his breath fog as he breathed, smelling the wonderful smells of wood smoke from one of David's neighbour's chimneys and he stepped down onto the freshly cleared path.

Salt crunched beneath his shoes as he walked and he smiled. He could tolerate winter in small doses, and with the season just beginning it really wasn't that bad. He glanced up the street at all the houses with their lights glittering in the snow. It really was a beautiful night. He heard a sharp rasping sound followed by a clap and a thump. Curious, he crossed the street and entered the small park that sat directly across from David's house. He regretted not grabbing his jacket, but he was only going to be outside for a few moments, so he simply pulled his arms around himself and struggled over the steep snow bank to get a glimpse at where the noises were coming from.

He stopped and smiled. The small hockey rink was really nothing more than a few boards set up around a patch of cleared ice. A group of neighbourhood parents had probably set it up for their kids to play on during the day. A conveniently-placed street lamp that bathed the white snow about it a soft orange lighted the ice and Nick couldn't help but smile.

Jeff swept about in a wide circle, the hockey stick waving back and forth as he guided the black puck in lazy sweeps in front of him; he braked with another rasp of skates, sent the puck sailing against the boards and it thumped dully against them as he swept in to repeat the pattern again.

"Looks like fun." Nick observed with a grin as he leaned on the boards watching Jeff make another pass.

The hockey captain deaked the puck as he spun on his skates and began to skate backwards lazily, "I got bored at the party." He grinned, "My dad taught me to skate in a park like this when I was little."

Nick shivered slightly as he nodded, "Cool, we don't have rinks like this in England because it really doesn't get cold enough."

Jeff skated up to him, "So how did you learn?"

Nick shook his head, "Never did. Not much call for learning in England..."

"We're not in England," Jeff said as he pushed off from the boards and sailed easily in a circle. "This is America, dude's not a man unless he can skate."

Nick shook his head, "Well, never had anyone to teach me."

Jeff's grin suddenly grew very broad as he slid up again, "See my equipment bag down there, I have a spare pair, can you fit a size ten?"

Nick looked skeptical, "I can..." he said, suddenly growing nervous. He hadn't considered skating before; he just never had to before.

"Put them on then." Jeff said encouragingly.

Nick reluctantly sat down on the bench and fished the skates out of the bag. "Baur?" he asked as he read the name on the side, "I'm in trouble aren't I?"

Jeff nodded, "Yep, but you're not going to wimp out on me. Don't worry I'll catch you before you fall."

"Great." Nick murmured as he finished lacing on the skates and stood shakily to his feet, "I feel stupid."

Jeff shook his head; "You look fine," he stopped, noticing Nick was again in his shirt sleeves, "what is it with you and losing coats?" he asked already shrugging his off. "Put this on before you get sick."

"Yes, mom." Nick replied, accepting the letterman jacket, and grinning as he put it on. "Think I could pass for a pro hockey player?"

Jeff considered it a moment before he shook his head, "You're too British" he joked. "Now come on out onto the ice slowly."

Nick took a small step, testing his balance on the ice. Well, he was upright so far, and barring any kind of movement he could stay that way.

"Push slowly." Jeff said as he slid up in front of Nick.

Nick grudgingly complied, feeling himself contort as one leg shot out from under him in one direction pushing the other in the opposite one. He crashed to the ice in a heap.

"Bloody hell!" he cursed in spite of himself; the ice was cold and hard.

Jeff laughed, "You okay Duval? Can you get up?"

Nick stared up at the amused blond and grumbled as he tried to struggle to his feet. Moments later he was back on the ice. "Damn it!" he cursed in frustration.

"Take it easy." Jeff said offering a hand to help him up, "Look hold onto my arms, I'll keep your balance, you just focus on moving."

Nick took a hold of Jeff's hands and was surprised at how firmly Jeff gripped them. It was like holding onto a rock; he knew that he was safe as long as he held on to those hands. He smiled shyly as he began to move, Jeff skating backwards in front of him keeping him stable.

"Nice one Duval!" Jeff said with a grin, keeping his balance, "Let's try a little faster."

They sped up, Jeff guiding them effortlessly around the small rink continuing to hold onto Nick to keep him upright. For Nick it was like learning how to fly, he could move so fast, and as long as he stayed focused he wouldn't fall over, he was actually enjoying it. He had never thought about it before, always writing it off as a pastime he would never understand, but there he was enjoying it.

"So when are the hockey try outs?" Nick joked.

Jeff laughed again, "First skating lesson and he already wants to play hockey." He grinned, "Okay, I am going to let go of you, try to keep your balance and skate in a circle just like I showed you."

Nick drew in a breath as Jeff released him, and he wobbled threateningly, but kept his balance. It really wasn't as hard as he had first thought. The less he concentrated on trying to stay upright, and the more he concentrated on moving forward the more stable he felt on skates. He kept putting one foot in front of the other as he mimicked the pattern Jeff had showed him, already around the rink and sailing towards Jeff.

"Okay now stop." Jeff said.

"How?" Nick asked a moment of panic setting in as he realized he hadn't gotten that far in his lessons.

"You just, no, turn." Jeff's eyes widened as he realized Nick had run out of places to go and headed straight for him; he held up his hands to catch him, but Nick was just going too fast. They collided, and both hit the ice in a tangle of limbs.

They came to rest against the boards, Nick wrapped in Jeff's arms, and they both broke out into hysterical laughter. Nick shifted his weight off of Jeff's stomach and grinned at him.

"Guess I had better not try out for the team just yet."

"I don't know," Jeff said as he sat upright, "That was a pretty good check and we could use a good enforcer..."

Nick laughed, "Thanks Jeff, nice to know how supportive you are of my hockey playing dreams."

Jeff chuckled and shrugged, "My pleasure," he stood and helped Nick back up to his feet. Nick wobbled in a precarious fashion and Jeff's arms snaked out to catch him about the waist before he fell again.

Nick just stood there and stared into those brown eyes, the same ones that had kept him warm and safe during the storm. Those eyes looked at him with a new light in them, one he couldn't fail to mistake.

Nick didn't remember who had kissed who, their lips just met. A soft probing kiss at first, shy and almost tentative, that grew with passion as Nick felt Jeff draw him closer. Then almost as soon as it began it was over. Jeff drew his head back to look at Nick, licking his lips as if he could still taste him on them.

"I..." Nick began breaking the silence, realizing he was still in Jeff's embrace.

Jeff released him slowly, as he took a step backwards. His eyes still searched Nick's face, as he tried to read the emotions there. But what did he read there? Nick could barely make sense of the rushing torrent of emotion he felt, the confusion, the longing, the fearing. He stayed frozen still.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." Jeff said as he shook his head to clear it, already skating away to the bench. Nick tried to follow, but his skates had a mind of their own, and he had to cling to the boards to help him along. When he finally got off the ice, Jeff was already out of his skates and lacing up his boots.

"Wait, what?" Nick asked, trying to vocalize all the raging questions inside his mind.

Jeff sat there a moment and stared at him, "I shouldn't have done that," he rested his arms on his knees and exhaled heavily, "I don't know what I'm doing, I'm not, I don't..."

Nick sat down on the bench and took off his borrowed skates, considering what it meant as he put his shoes back on. "I don't think I am either." he said.

Jeff's eyes lit up hopefully, "that's good, `cause if you were that would mean I was and, well you're not and..." he gave up the feeble train of thought and turned to Nick "I mean there's something between us, like a connection."

"Yes," Nick admitted aloud feeling the realization beginning to dawn on him; did he feel the same way? Could he feel the same way? Was it just that, nothing more than a connection?

"But I just can't figure this out." Jeff continued, lost in his own thoughts, "I mean you're important to me. Like the other night, I couldn't let you freeze, because I would lose this." he waved at the invisible connection that bound them together, "but what is this?"

Nick stood up and turned away, trying to think, what was it? Was it? There was no way it could be that. He turned back resting an arm on the boards. "What does it feel like for you?" he asked shivering, but this time not from the cold.

Jeff stood slowly, "I don't know, like you're important, like when I'm near you I just want to protect you. Like in the car."

"So we're friends then." Nick said desperately hoping he was right, but he knew that wasn't it. He swallowed again.

"I don't feel like this for my friends." Jeff said as he ran a hand through his hair to push it away from his eyes, "Wow, this is really messed up."

Nick nodded, "Yeah." It was as if their entire world had shifted under them. Everything they had known up until that moment had suddenly changed, the rules were different. There was no going back, you didn't shift paradigms and expect to be unaffected by that shift.

Jeff reached out and touched Nick's face in a tender fashion, and Nick stared at the young man who had just changed his whole world.

There was a gasp behind them and Jeff pulled his hand back sharply. Nick frowned and turned to see Daisy staring down at them from the road. She stood stock still looking between them, before she turned and ran.

Nick cursed and sprinted after her, leaving Jeff to stare after them under the street lamp.

* * *

><p>"When the Grinch stole Christmas," Wes said as he stood in the middle of the kitchen, a group of people listening to him intently as he went on, "One of my favourite Christmas cartoons, especially when he steals Christmas from the town. Has a good plot until the last fifteen minutes. As soon as it starts to go to hell I turn it off."<p>

David shook his head, "But that's when he gives the gifts back."

Wes gave him a blank stare, "Huh? Nope never watched the end. I like it better this way. Anyway, why are we talking about this? Christmas is over."

Sapphire stood towards the back of the room; she had chosen to stay clear of that argument, preferring to watch Wes showboat to everyone like a stand-up comedian. But as Nick burst into the kitchen and looked about wildly, Sapphire stared over at him and immediately realized something was wrong. She intercepted him in the hallway as he searched vainly for Daisy and caught his arm.

"What's wrong?" she asked in concern.

Nick looked over at her, "Where's Daisy?" He had a mad look in his eyes that scared her. She had never seen him look so desperate.

She rolled her eyes, "Did you two have a fight?" She seemed ready to begin lecturing him on the fragile nature of girls emotions, and how they should be treated when she noticed Nick was again wearing Jeff's jacket. She stared at it a moment, feeling the leather sleeve beneath her hand before she met his eyes, "Oh!" she said immediately coming to a realization.

Nick missed it completely, as he looked about wildly, "Where is she, I have to find her." he said as he looked at his friend.

"Slow down," she said refusing to release him, "Calm down, she isn't here, she was looking for you and David said you were outside. She hasn't come back in yet."

Nick broke free of her grip and started for the door. Sapphire waved to catch Wes's attention and he tore himself away from his audience.

"What's wrong?" he asked putting his arm about her.

"Nick, I.. we just need to calm him down." she said nodding to where he was rushing out the front door.

"Ok, let's go," he said as he grabbed their jackets and handed her the keys to his truck. She filled him in as they climbed into the cab, and after a few minutes they caught up to Nick as he rounded the corner at the top of the street. The truck pulled up alongside of him as Wes jumped out catching him before he could continue running. "Dude you have to calm down! I don't know what's going on but just stay calm." he said positioning himself in Nick's way.

Nick again shook his head desperately, "No, you don't understand I have to-"

Wes shook his head, "Get in the truck."

Nick stared over Wes's shoulder up the street where he knew Daisy had to have driven. "Wes" he pleaded.

"Nick, get in the truck," Sapphire said leaning across the seat to see him, "Come on, please."

Nick shook himself off and as he reluctantly climbed into the cab, he tried to think of what he wanted to say, how he could explain his manic run up a street. Panic was the only thing that came to mind, and he sat there silently as Wes climbed in beside him shutting the door.

"My place." Wes said, taking charge as Sapphire pulled the truck out onto the streets and wove towards Wes's house.

Nick shivered as he sat between them, tight-lipped, staring ahead at the road. His entire world had changed, and it wasn't done yet. He wanted to make it stop, grab a hold of one of the pieces of the way things were and force it back into place. But again life wasn't going to work like that, he couldn't predict how it would end, but now he was simply along for the ride.

When they were in Wes's living room, Sapphire confronted him, "What the hell is going on Duval?" she asked as she sat on the edge of the couch.

Nick fell into the chair across from her and shook his head, "I, I don't know."

Wes sat quietly preferring to observe his girlfriend as she interrogated her best friend.

"Nick," she said keeping her tone rational, "You don't act like a maniac without a reason. This has something to do with Jeff, right?"

"H-how?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

She crossed her arms and gave him one of her typical don't underestimate me looks, "You're wearing his jacket _again_, and the fact you two have been acting strange since the accident. I'm not stupid."

Nick closed his eyes and exhaled dejectedly, "He, he kissed me." he said after a pause.

Both Sapphire and Wes exchanged looks of shock.

"And Daisy saw?" Wes pressed as he pieced it together.

Nick sat forward, "She didn't see that, but she saw him touch my cheek." He extended his hands, "I wasn't thinking. I just had to run after her and explain."

"Oh boy," Sapphire said heavily, "Daisy's going to take that hard, Nick, but what about Jeff?"

"I don't know," Nick said helplessly, "I don't know what's going on."

"I'm going make coffee," Wes said as he got up and walked towards his kitchen, "This is going to take awhile."

"Aren't we going to wake your parents?" Sapphire asked as she followed him.

Wes shook his head, "This is my place, my grandmother left it to me last year. My folks only live 15 minutes drive away, so we're cool."

She nodded as she looked back towards Nick sitting lost in thought in the overstuffed armchair, "What a mess."

Wes dismissed it with a roll of his shoulders, "No big deal, let him stay here tonight, calm down, and I will drive him home tomorrow."

She patted Wes's arm, "Thanks."

Wes grinned as he poured water into the pot, "It's what I'm good at. I'm not a total ass you know."

* * *

><p><strong>There first kiss ;) Hope it wasn't disappointing, it's kinda odd writing about two people kissing, not because i've never kissed someone. But it's just odd?<strong> **Anyway please leave a review**

**Next chapter: What happens when Nick's dad and the students of Westerville High find's out about the kiss? -I've decided to start telling you what coming up in the next chapters :D!**

**If I've made any mistakes, please let me know as my beta has gone on holiday.**


	7. Incase

The truck bounced down the driveway and pulled up besides Nick's home, though it was more a house then a home to Nick. Wes leaned on the wheel and glanced at his young buddy. "Feeling better?" Nick nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just panicked last night." He looked up at the farmhouse and sighed, "Now to explain to the Major why I didn't come home last night."

Wes smiled, "I'll come with you, he might believe you if I tell him."

Nick let out short sigh "I don't know, you don't know him like I do, he isn't afraid to express himself in front of strangers."

"How bad can he be?" Wes asked with a wry grin already stepping out of his truck and sauntering up to the kitchen door.

Nick reluctantly got out and followed as they walked into the house. He wasn't surprised to see the Major already sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him. He came to a halt beside Wes and took a deep breath of air.

"Dad..." he said trying to keep the nervous tone out of his small voice.

The Major folded his paper neatly and set it aside and looked up from his breakfast, "Where have you been?" he asked simply. There was no wasting time with the Major, he was always abrupt and to the point.

Wes tried to answer, "He was staying with me, Mister."

"Major," Major Duval corrected the boy as he slowly began to stir his coffee, "And I wasn't asking you kid."

Nick stepped up to the table, "It was me, I decided to stay over at Wes's rather than come home, it was late, stuff happened and I was exhausted from it."

The Major kept his tones level, a quiet voice that belied an iron resolve, "What are you doing in that jacket? I thought you gave that back." He considered it a moment, "did you lose yours _again_?"

Nick took a deep breath, "I-"

The phone rang mercifully. Jackie ran to answer. The Major gave it his attention; when she extended it to him, he rose. "Don't move, either of you."

Nick glanced over at Wes and mouthed that he was sorry. Wes just shrugged it off; he was used to parent's attitudes towards him, and he didn't let it bother him.

The Major listened into the receiver intently; every so often he glanced over towards Nick. Nick watched as the Major's shoulders squared and his jaw tensed. The grip on the phone tightened until his knuckles turned white. His yes's became more punctuated and Nick knew that something was very wrong.

"Thank you." The major said simply as he hung the receiver back into its cradle and stood there a moment as he stared at the wall. Jackie moved in to lay a hand on his arm, but withdrew it when he threw her a fierce look.

Nick had never seen that look on his father's face before; something was wrong, very wrong. He stepped forward and arched an eyebrow questioningly, "Dad?"

The Major exploded into action and Nick was propelled up against the wall as the Major threw him up against it pinning him there, "Is it true?" he demanded, almost screaming the words.

The shock of the violence froze everyone in the room, and Nick stared wide-eyed into his fathers rage filled face, "What?"

"Dan!" Jackie yelled as she tried to pry her husband's hands from Nick's shirt, trying to get him down, "Dan stop!"

"Is it true?" The Major screamed again, "Is what she said true? Is that why you were so 'exhausted'? Were you up all night making out with a fag? You bring shame upon this family. I will not allow you to ruin your life for a boy, _a boy _Nick why?"

Wes darted into action wresting Nick's father's hands from his son, pulling Nick free and stepping between them protectively as Nick dropped to the ground and scrambled back towards the table. "Stop!" He said holding a hand up.

Nick trembled in shock as his father tried to move around his friend to get at him again; he had never seen his father so enraged. Even the times when he had lashed out at Nick during arguments, he had never thrown such fury at him, never shown such hatred.

"Get out of my way!" the major barked, a terse order.

Wes stared at the man looming over him, and squared his shoulders, "You're going to have to go through me, and when you're done my next stop will be the police station, and you will have to explain to them why you beat the shit out of two teenagers." He smiled, "Can you spell deportation?"

He realized he had no other option and the Major turned his back, "Get out!" He screamed. By now the Major's face had turned a bright crimson colour.

"Get to the truck, Duval." Wes said evenly, continuing to keep himself between them. He looked up at the larger man, "I'm going to be back in four hours for Nick's stuff, you _will _have it ready."

"Get out!" the Major bellowed slamming his fists heavily against the wall.

Nick rushed out of the back door and was already scrambling into the truck like a frightened jack rabbit when Wes calmly walked out of the back door. "Run," Nick's father bellowed after them, "and don't ever come back!"

Wes shook his head in disgust as he climbed into the truck and slammed it into reverse, backing away from the house as slowly as he could in attempt to annoy the Major even further for what he'd just done to Nick. Meanwhile Nick sat in the truck barely focused, staring at his house and his father standing before it screaming obscenities after them.

* * *

><p>When they finally returned to Wes's house Sapphire was cradling a cup of coffee watching the news. She looked up confused at first, but instantly flew into a protective mode when she saw how upset Nick was about the recent happenings, guiding him to the couch, her arm about his shoulders. She looked up at Wes expectantly for answers and he explained simply about the phone call and what had happened at Nick's.<p>

"Daisy, I swear I'm goin' to seriously hurt that girl when I see her." she snarled like a lioness who had just found out one of her cubs had been attacked, she stood and stalked towards the kitchen as Wes sat down beside Nick.

"Dude, you gonna' be okay?" he asked in concern.

"What am I going to do?" Nick frowned up at him, "What the hell was that?" he asked in confusion, "How did he know, I don't even know..."

"Look, you're staying here until you can get yourself sorted out. Don't worry about that. As for the rest," Wes glanced towards the kitchen where Sapphire was talking furiously into a phone, "Sapphire's trying to find out now, although I think all of us already know how he found out, don't we?"

Nick sighed and nodded slowly, wiping his face with the back of his hand when he allowed a small tear to escape it's prison. Nick hadn't cried for what seemed forever, he wouldn't allow himself to start now. As his father always says 'crying is weakness kid, you cry and that means the other person has won. Nobody wants a sobbing loser.'

Sapphire returned to them a moment later, her face was livid, "I was right," she shook her head, "She called your dad this morning to tell him, I can't believe her." she sat down wrapping her arms around Nick again, "Nick, I'm so sorry. None of this should ever be happening to someone as amazing as you, I swear I will do everything I can to help you."

Nick's head sank against her shoulder, he felt the rush of emotion catch up and overwhelm him and he clutched onto Sapphire for emotional support.

* * *

><p>Nick didn't feel like being at school, he felt as though everyone knew what had happened to him. His English teacher, Mister Greenwood, had given him a knowing look in class and simply left him alone. Other students simply whispered behind their hands as they nodded at him in the halls. He felt heavy-hearted as he walked around, so painfully aware that life was never going to be the same for him.<p>

Sapphire was keeping a close eye on him, refusing to let him out of her sight. Ordinarily he would have felt smothered by her constant attention, but he needed her there with him. He needed her when he felt the world crashing down upon him. When the stares began to get to him. When the whispers became too loud for him to ignore. Wes had been, typically, exactly what Nick needed; a firm and responsible adult, making decisions that had to be made, sheltering Nick as much as he could. Nick was grateful for all the help that was offered to him. It was good to know that when he needed them his friends had stepped up to meet the challenge.

Nick had been sitting in the library, the only place he could find some peace, Sapphire beside him as she tried to distract him with small talk when David joined their table. Nick swallowed, anticipating what was to come, and he tensed.

"I heard," David said pushing his cap back from his eyes and slouching in his seat, "I'm sorry, man."

"What did you hear?" Sapphire asked defensively as Nick simply sat there staring across at David

"About your folks," David said, "And Daisy has been shooting her mouth off..."

Nick's head fell, "I knew she would." he muttered quietly.

"Look Nick," Davif said leaning on the table, "I don't care, you're sort of my friend okay? Whatever you need I'm here."

Nick nodded, "Thanks man" he swallowed, "What is she saying?" He didn't want to know the answer, but had to know what was being said.

"She was saying you were kissing some guy in the park," he stopped and looked at Nick. "She doesn't know who," he said, realizing what Nick was asking.

Sapphire nodded, "Thanks David."

He gave her a smile, "Least I could do, like I said, the dude's my reason for passing biology." Nick felt relieved.

* * *

><p>The relief he had felt quickly turned to trepidation as he ran into Jeff on his way to his locker. Sapphire had gone to the washroom, and he had felt confident to slip downstairs alone. He hadn't expected to see Jeff sitting with his back up against Nick's locker waiting for him.<p>

He stood for a moment and looked around, glad that they were alone for a moment; the bell rang for the next class but neither made a move to go. Once the rush had finished and they were truly alone and undisturbed Nick broke the silence.

"Hi."

Jeff looked up from his seat on the floor and stood, "I heard that Daisy's told everyone, I'm so sorry Nick."

Nick shook his head, "It's alright, no one knows it was you."

Jeff shook his head, "I couldn't care less, are you alright?" he rested his hands on Nick's shoulders and searched his eyes.

Nick's eyes flicked away, "I'll live." he replied staring at anything that wasn't Jeff.

Jeff cocked his head to look at Nick's eyes, "So what now?" he asked nervously.

Nick found the strength to look at him, for a moment he stared into those powerful eyes and could see all the way to the soul. He could see himself in them and that terrified him; he swallowed as he sought words finally daring to speak, "I have so much going on in my head right now," he shook his head, "I don't know what to do. Bury all this and hope it goes away I guess."

Jeff's head sank slightly as he swallowed, "I don't think it's that easy Nick. And, I don't th-think I can."

Nick blew out a tight breath as he straightened his back, "Are you ready to go through all, all that I am going through right now?"

"I don't know" Jeff admitted.

"Well I'm not ready for this, but I have to go through it and if you're seen with me they'll figure it out." It hurt like hell, he felt the knot in his stomach tightening, but what choice did he have? Until everything calmed down, if it ever could, he couldn't deal with Jeff's emotions as well.

"I'm sorry" Jeff said softly as his eyes searched Nick's face.

"Don't be." Nick replied, "I'll just have to live with the stares, whispers, and, the eventual bullying."

Jeff swallowed, "In case I don't get another chance to say this, I-I love you."

"No, don't." Nick replied as he pulled from Jeff's grip and blinked back tears as he opened his locker and fished out Jeff's jacket and handed it back.

Jeff held the jacket in his hands as he looked at Nick for what felt like the last time. "I don't want to do this." he said after a moment of silence.

"I don't think either of us is ready for that." Nick replied again, all too aware that he was shutting away so much emotion, "I didn't even know I was gay until yesterday Jeff. Maybe one day we could make it work, but not now."

Jeff nodded before he turned and stumbled away, fighting back tears of his own. Nick sank to the floor where Jeff had sat to wait for him. That's what happens to Nick Duval when he finally finds happiness, it get ripped away from him in the blink of an eye.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I ended it at a depressing point, and I'm going to explain why I keep using the names Andrew and Will. Basically, I like to think I can multi-task, In English I have to write a 20page creative writing essay and that's what the names of the characters are called in that story and I often type up my essay whilst writing this story (I'm sure I've probably said Nick and Jeff in my essay a few times aswell, \and no the characters in my essay aren't homosexual; not sure how well that would go down with my English teacher) so anyway, whenever I say the words Andrew or Will just tell me and I'll edit it :D<strong>

**To the three people who said they'd wanted Nick and Jeff's relationship to stay a secret from the school, don't worry I won't out them anytime soon. Except Nick as you've already seen.**

**Next chapter: Nick's grandma rings up and an unexpected visitor turns up on his doorstep to take Nick shopping where he bumps into the one person he really didn't want to see.**


	8. Shopping

Nick shivered; he sat at the small kitchen table in Wes's house, staring in misery out at the snow falling more steadily now. That was how you were supposed to feel when it snowed, miserable? But Nick hadn't even noticed the snow. His mind was firmly fixed on what he had done to Jeff.

Nick had done it supposedly to protect Jeff from hurt. But that didn't change the pain in those blue eyes, the loss. Nick knew that feeling, he felt the emotions of the last few days welling up into him, tears threatening to spill over the abandoned book on the table in front of him.

What was going through his head? The electric thrill of that kiss under a street lamp in the snow, the warmth of Jeff's skin as they pressed against each other just to stay alive. The soft vowels of his voice, the hint of French in his accent. The pain in those eyes.

All those conflicting things assaulted him, and he remembered the Major throwing him up against the wall, the shock driving home the fear that came with the thoughts. He was a teenager, and gay was dangerous. It was the reason kids got beaten up by gangs; it was the reason kids committed suicide from the bullying. It was something to be afraid of.

Wes set the bowl of Habitant pea soup, a staple cuisine that came in a distinctive yellow can. You couldn't be sane without keeping at least one can of the hearty soup on hand for an emergency.

Nick looked at it, thick yellowish-white substance that would talk to him if it weren't eaten quickly. He looked up thankfully, and he opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the phone ringing.

Wes shrugged, a paternal look on his young face as he answered it. "Hello?" the bilingual answer giving the caller the choice of a language to respond in. Wes glanced up at Nick and nodded, "Yeah he is, hang on Mrs, um, Duval." He covered the phone and extended it to Nick.

Nick's face went ashen. Was Jackie calling him? Why would the Major's wife call him? He stood shakily and accepted the phone timidly.

"N-nick here."

The voice on the other end of the phone caused the tears to spring from his eyes unbidden, rolling down his cheeks. No matter what the Major said, Nick was convinced he had a right to show weakness after the events that the past few days had left behind. The old and leathery sounding voice of his grandmother made him feel truly safe, truly loved. "Nicholas" she said softly as if she knew he was crying the moment he had heard her voice, "are you all right?" Behind the softness there was a determination to her voice, a concern that was genuine.

It was with good reason; she had raised him after his mother had abandoned him. She had been the one to hold him at night, to change his diapers and kiss his bruises when he fell. She had been the one to teach him, bring him up,_ love_ him.

"I'm okay" he managed between heavy sobs. He noticed that Wes, the emotionally aloof warrior, had left him alone with the phone, retreating to the living room to watch a hockey game on television.

"That's a relief," she said, her voice softening "I heard from your father last night. I had to call your Aunt Leanne to find out where you were."

Nick smiled, Leanne, although not really his aunt, was his grandfather's niece, the closest to family he had there. A meddlesome and domineering woman, she had a kind heart and could be as protective as a lioness over her brood. His grandmother and aunt talked frequently - there was little Gran didn't know about his life.

"I'm staying with a friend" Nick replied, not really sure what to say, what could he say that would reassure her that he was alright. He wasn't exactly sure he would be himself.

"Good," she said as if she made up her mind. "I couldn't believe your Dad would do something like this," her voice sounded disappointed, but she knew her son too well. "I want to make sure you are all right and," she became a little uncertain of herself, "find out what you wanted to do now."

What she meant by that was very clear. She wanted him to come back to England. Halisham, the little town she lived in lay just south of London in England. Over three and a half thousand miles away from his current life. He felt his stomach clenching, part of him screaming for him to take the offer, tell her he wanted to go home more than anything in the world. Finally escape and just go home.

But...

Ohio was his home now, he had been out there a long time, his schooling was coming along and he had his friends. He had given all that up once before to follow his dad's dream of a new life. Could he really give it all up again to go back? His grandmother sensed his apprehension, "You don't have to come home if you don't want to," she said softly, reassuringly; she knew his father because she had raised him, but she also knew Nick for the same reason. "I could talk to Leanne, her and Paul have that apartment but they might be able to."

"They don't have room Gran," Nick said tiredly resting his back on the counter and looking out the window at the snow falling across Wes's truck, "I don't know what choice I have really."

Wes who had been eavesdropping on the conversation appeared in the doorway to the kitchen and made a gesture for the phone, a simple beckoning indicating he wanted to talk to Gran. Nick frowned questioningly and handed the phone over.

"Hello Madam Duval?" Wes said, his accent thicker as he became more formal on the phone; he turned and pointed to the front room for Nick to give him some privacy.

Nick shrugged as he walked back into the living room and flopped down into the chair. Wes was up to something again. Like a demented Frenchman on a mission, French Chinese, he corrected. There was a different kind of nut that came from the descendants of frontiersmen. Few people remembered that it was Cartier and a group of the Frenchmen who had built the first colony in North America, and had founded through pride a great nation. Nick mentally face-palmed himself he had just got of the phone talking to his Grandma and all he could think about was the French history.

Wes returned to the living room and tossed Nick the phone before sitting back down on the couch. Nick caught it and lifted it back to his ear, "Hello?"

"I've talked it through with Wes," she paused a moment, "You have a good friend there Nicholas."

"I know." Nick said looking up at Wes, who was pointedly ignoring the look, uncomfortable with gratitude and any kind of praise.

"We've talked about it and he is willing to let you stay there until you finish high school; however I insisted on paying rent for you." She hesitated, "He would only let me pay for half of your utility bills and for your food." He could hear she was relieved about that, "I am going to send you a cheque each month, whatever is left over you can spend on yourself."

"Okay," Nick replied, struck by the lengths his Gran was going to just to make sure he was okay. "Thank you." he added, his voice made him sound so little.

"You're going to have to be good, and I will be calling you every week and having your Aunt Leanne check up on you." Her voice took on a warning tone, "and if your marks slip you will be on the next plane home."

"They won't." Nick quickly assured.

"They'd better not," she warned, "Look, it's very late over here and I should let you get back to your homework. Just remember you will be okay, and that I love you very much."

He felt the tears welling up again in the back of his throat, "I know."

"Good bye Nicholas," she said sincerely.

"I love you." Nick whispered as he hung up the phone. He turned to Wes, his mouth just hanging open about what he had just done.

He looked at the rebellious young man who tried to avoid responsibility, and yet owned his own home, and now had stepped up to look after him. He was a little older than Nick, dark brown, almost black hair that was cut neatly into a half pomp, straight and roguish like he was. The kind of eyes that glinted with mischief, and a look of intent focus as the hockey game began to get interesting.

"Thank you." Nick began, trying to find words for his gratitude.

Wes looked up, "Hockey." He pointed to the screen.

"But..." Nick tried again.

Wes looked over at him and grinned, "You needed a place to stay, now I get to teach you how to appreciate hockey."

Nick smiled, a certain blond had already taught him to appreciate hockey he stopped as his face fell slightly. That wound was still fresh, and something he would sooner just forget. Not that the other kids at school would let him forget. He had put up with the teasing, the derisive comments for much of the day. The looks of disgust from some kids, and worse, the looks of pity from others.

Jeff had avoided him the rest of the day, until blessedly the final bell had rung. And Nick hadn't stayed, he had sprinted out to Wes's truck and when the man himself had arrived they had just driven back to the house in silence. If this was to be his life for the next year and a half, it was going to be difficult.

The knock at the door caused him to jump. He looked over at Wes, who shrugged simply and crossed to the door. Tossing it open revealed a towering man with a snow-covered toque and beard. Paul Aube was a broad-shouldered dark man with very strong Native roots. He surveyed Wes a moment before looking past him at Nick standing behind him.

He pointed simply at Nick, "Your grandmother just called," his voice was gruff and accented. "She wanted me to check with you and take you shopping."

Nick raised and eyebrow, "Shopping?" he asked carefully.

"Clothes, school supplies." He shrugged, "get your coat." It wasn't a request. Paul had a way about him that was firm. He had to be to live with Leanne; it would take a very patient man to tolerate her... determination. Nick pulled on his old coat and shoes and followed his Uncle out to the white Mazda truck.

* * *

><p>Once they were safely on their way into the City of Ottawa, Paul began to speak, "He kicked you out?"<p>

Nick nodded, wondering how he would explain why.

Thankfully Paul didn't ask, he just kept driving, and Nick realized that the shopping trip had an ulterior motive. Paul had been sent to talk to him. By who was obvious, Leanne was a devout Catholic and even the hint of something that ran against her faith had to be investigated. She wouldn't shun him for it, on the contrary she would be too concerned with 'saving his soul'. He felt a pang of pity for his Uncle, Paul hated being used in this manner. Nick settled uncomfortably back into the seat of the truck. "Thank you," he said after a minute or so.

Paul shrugged his shoulders, "You need clothes to go to school," he nodded to the aged coat Nick was wearing which was a good quality hand-me-down, but old. He fingered it carefully; he liked his coat. His dad hadn't been poor, quite the contrary there was money in the house, but Nick couldn't remember the last time he had been bought new clothes.

The Rideau Centre was in the heart of downtown Westerville; it was the central Mecca of shoppers and kids. It was built as a major transit stop, feeding commuters to and from work and its food court was massive. There were four floors leading up to a large movie theatre built on the top floor. Even on a weeknight it was still bustling, people coming off of work and heading for home, and kids lurking around looking for stuff to do.

Nick followed his uncle through the crowds of shoppers till they arrived at Sears. The busy department store wasn't nearly as crowded as it was normally, and Paul guided him to the men's section and flagged down at passing clerk. The overtly effeminate man scurried over, offering to help them. Paul watched Nick's reaction very carefully. Nick, knowing full well not to look at the guy, picked at a rack of clothes. He wasn't being shy, it was just, well he didn't know what was going on in his head.

Here Paul was trying to find out if he was gay without asking him, and if he was what then? Nick didn't even know. He'd kissed a boy once. Even then that had just gone horribly wrong. What was the big deal anyway? He could tell if a guy was attractive and if they were not. But have sex with them? What was that - a joke? Not that sex with a guy was a joke, just sex in general. Nick wasn't one of the popular guys, he wasn't getting chased around. So yeah he thought about sex, but to actually have sex with anyone? That just couldn't happen, not yet.

He felt his cheeks flushing red, realizing the clerk and Paul were waiting for him and he looked up at them. "I-i, err." he stammered shyly.

Paul took over at that point guiding him through the store, helping him to pick out clothes he liked. He kept his head down most of the time, choosing things he liked, and Paul, who had a nephew Nick's age supplemented it with things he knew teenagers should be wearing.

He stopped as they passed the leather jackets.

Nick's eyes widened in surprise and firmly locked on the price tag, "I can't." he said.

Paul ignored him and selected a classic looking leather bomber jacket and bade Nick try it on.

"Teenager's not a man till he has a good jacket," he said quietly. "My dad bought me one when I was your age, I felt like James Dean in it."

"Who?" Nick asked naively.

"Just a second," Paul reached out and pushed Nick's hair over a bit and he adjusted Nick's collar, "There you go, that's what he looked like." Paul laughed, "It looks good on you, you'll knock the ladies off their feet in that."

Again he studied Nick's reaction, as if waiting for something. Nick just shrugged, staring at his feet. How had he allowed himself to get into this situation? All because he had let some guy kiss him, and had been caught. Except, Jeff wasn't some guy. He was tall, athletic, intelligent, sincere, heading that way, handsome...

Nick's eyes went wide. Paul started in surprise at the reaction and looked about him self-consciously.

Jeff drew short when he saw Nick standing with his uncle dressed in sharp clothes and a leather jacket looking for all the world exactly like a young James Dean. He stopped and gaped. Nick felt himself turning red, glad that Paul had his back to Jeff.

Paul frowned a moment as he shrugged and guided Nick onwards through the store and away from Jeff. "We have to find you new shoes," he pointed out Nick's old converse. And guided him off. Nick cast a glance back to see Jeff's mother Micheline holding a gaudy Hawaiian shirt up against her son, who was too distracted to notice the horrible print pattern on the front of it.

Nick was halfway through trying on shoes, 'real shoes' as his uncle had so quickly pointed out. They felt comfortable, and reminded him of his time at school in England where he had worn real shoes every day. A well-shined pair of shoes reflected a lot about a person, and he found himself getting excited, it was as if he was changing a part of himself. Getting rid of the person he had been as if he was getting rid of a cheap pair of sneakers.

Jeff rounded the aisle with his mother. The formidable woman almost pushed him down into the seat alongside Nick as she set off in search of a new pair of shoes. He shifted uncomfortably a moment glancing at Nick, and then over at Paul, who was thankfully talking to the clerk.

"Hi," he said quietly, "I'm sorry, my mom wants to get me new trainers. I tried to give you some space but, she's been funny since the accident."

He shifted in his chair adjusting his jacket and craning his neck to see where she had gotten to. Nick shrugged, feeling a pressure building in his stomach. Had it only been a few hours since he had made his monumental decision to stop anything with Jeff before it pulled both of them down? It felt like ages ago. So much had changed in a few short hours.

He shrugged, "It's ok." Nick said after a moment, "I'm here with my Uncle."

Jeff followed his gaze over to the older man who was now arguing with the clerk heatedly about something. "That's cool." He looked down at the new jacket Nick was still wearing, "It's good to see you finally found a coat." Nick blushed slightly feeling the heat rising into his cheeks. "Yeah, I like it, it's..."

"I got the shoes at the sale price," Paul announced returning to the small seats with a shoebox under his arm. He glanced over at Jeff and smiled, "Mister Sterling!" Nick started then remembered that Paul worked at the local arena; of course he would know who Jeff was.

"Mister Aube." Jeff nodded, "I was just saying to Nick that I liked his new jacket."

Paul nodded approvingly, there was no suspicion in his eyes, a Condor was above suspicion. They were local heroes, and Jeff was their ringleader. It was just accepted that he was a normal guy. Nick felt a little envious of that.

Jeff smiled, "I was just about to ask Nick if he wanted to chill a bit in the food court when he's done shopping. I'm here with my Mom but was thinking about heading home afterwards, I could drop Nick off."

Nick's back tightened, he wasn't even being consulted, it was a discussion between Paul and Jeff. Paul's eyes creased a little in concern when he looked at Nick, but when he glanced back at Jeff his eyes drifted over the large golden C on the coat. He just nodded, "It'll be good for him," he said almost as much to himself as he was to Jeff.

Nick felt trapped, and wondered how he could avoid the situation that was developing, but realized he was really being given no choice at all. Jeff wanted to talk, needed to talk. And you just couldn't say no him. He was too clever for that.

* * *

><p><strong>A <span>massive thankyou<span>**** to gottriplets who has name checked the chapter for me, so for once all the names are right. WOO!**

**May not update until the weekend as I have exams tomorrow and friday. It will all depend on what mood I'm in I guess.**

**Next chapter: Nick and Jeff talk things over and go on there first date (as Jeff calls it) and non-date (as Nick calls it)**


	9. Non date

Clothes paid for, Nick shifted the bags in his hand as he stood with his uncle in the atrium in front of Sears. He was feeling awkward; how did he get out of this thing with Jeff while still convincing his uncle that there was nothing wrong? It was like walking a tightrope with an impossible drop on either side. He really had no choice at all except to grin and bear it.

He smiled his thanks at his uncle. "I really appreciate this," he said his voice filled with sincerity.

His uncle had insisted he wear the new jacket and shoes out of the store with him. And he had to admit he looked quite smart in them. Rebel without a clue. He grinned at that and glanced up at the glass elevator that swept down into the parking lot and noticed a kid who had pressed his nose to the glass to stare at the people he passed by.

Paul waved his hand, "No problem, you be good and get home safely." He turned to leave and stopped, turning back, "And I will pick you up on Sunday for supper. Get a good meal into you."

Nick grinned at that, a good meal was his aunt's sole purpose in life, it seemed, to be able to cook anything at any time and have it come out a gourmet meal. He found his stomach rumbling, he had only had a couple of spoonfuls of Wes's Pea soup before the madness had swept him away from his meal.

Paul must have heard it because he smiled and fished into his wallet again, pulling out some mixed bills that he only briefly glanced at before he pushed them into Nick's hand, "To tide you over," he said with a smile.

Nick couldn't help it; he just threw his arms around his uncle and held onto him for a bit, finally stepping back and wiping the dampness from his eyes.

Paul smiled at him, and then he was gone, leaving Nick alone.

* * *

><p>Nick sighed as he moved to sit down on one of the benches, content to wait for Jeff. His life had been turned upside down; a single kiss and a single dream had changed his entire life. He contemplated running then, going up to the bus station and catching one back home. It seemed like a good idea, get away from Jeff before anything else changed.<p>

Jeff exited the store, and quickly the idea of running was quashed. Nick sat there watching the guy that in turn was searching the crowd looking for him. Jeff was undeniably handsome in a clean, crisp, white dress shirt and khaki Dockers. The dark green varsity jacket with its white leather sleeves. His blond hair neatly combed and parted just off the centre. He was like a poster boy, and an incredibly good looking one at that. Those chocolate brown eyes that drifted over the crowd and finally settled on him.

Nick blushed; it was reflexive, and he couldn't help it. Those brown eyes just seemed to sparkle when they met his. The shy smile on Jeff's face that said he was relieved to see Nick had actually waited for him.

Nick swallowed knowing that he was screwed. Too much of looking into those eyes and the resolute part of him that had said no that afternoon would be swept away. He suddenly grew nervous, what if Jeff didn't feel the same way, or worse what if he did? Could Nick handle either? It had taken everything he had to try to protect Jeff that afternoon, but here they were only a few hours later.

"I'm glad you waited" Jeff said sticking his hands into his pockets and bouncing slightly up onto the balls of his feet. It was a nervous gesture, something he obviously wasn't aware he was doing. Like a little boy who couldn't stay still too long. Nick noticed it and grinned inwardly, at least he wasn't the only one scared to death.

"I didn't have much choice." Nick said dryly as he got to his feet, picking up his bags.

Jeff reached down to take a few from him, "I'm sorry," he said and Nick noticed for the first time how strong Jeff's voice was; there was an inner confidence in the way he said the words. "I had to talk to you and I didn't think you would agree any other way."

Nick rolled his shoulders a bit, "Yeah I thought we, well this afternoon I figured..."

Jeff nodded towards the glass elevator, and the two got in. Nick was a little puzzled by that, weren't they supposed to be going to the food court? Why then were they now stepping out of the elevator into the parking lot?

Jeff crossed to his car, the Mustang looked a little battered from the accident, but the windows had been replaced and most of the bodywork had been repaired. Nick couldn't help but smile at the thought of the night huddled in the back of it, and the intense dream he had afterwards.

Jeff flipped open the trunk and set Nick's bags inside, waiting for Nick to do the same before closing it. He stood hesitantly a moment looking at Nick before he asked, "So you want to catch a bite to eat or something?"

"Weren't we going to the food court?" Nick asked feeling another bout of nervousness.

"We can," Jeff said, "but I feel like getting something a bit..." he shrugged, "you know a real restaurant rather than fast food."

Nick swallowed as he nodded, and Jeff relaxed noticeably, and he opened the side door for Nick to get in, hopping around the car to get in behind the driver's seat. Nick felt a tightness in his chest as he sat down on the familiar seat and glanced back relieved to see the emergency kit back there as well as a new cell phone sitting on a cradle charging off of the cigarette lighter.

Jeff noticed what Nick was staring at and grinned, "My mom, she offered to pay to fix the car so long as I agreed to let her get me a cell. I think it makes her feel easier."

"Where is your mom?" Nick asked looking around for the diminutive, if formidable woman as Jeff started the car and backed out of his space.

Jeff turned the wheel and flipped the car into gear; "My mom's got her own car here, so she's fine with me taking off." He accelerated the car out onto the street and turned a corner. He really was a careful driver, he expertly drove the car through the congested streets, rush hour was coming to an end and he navigated through it in silence for a bit before he looked over at Nick.

"You gonna' talk to me, or am I just going to drive us around in silence?" He flashed his white teeth and Nick felt like a trapped rabbit.

"I-I don't know,I thought..." Nick trailed off.

Jeff stopped the car at a light and gave Nick his full attention, "I told you this afternoon that I just can't bury this." His words were earnest, insistent, if he could just convince Nick of that then...

"And I told you I can't handle it." His voice was quiet, almost as if he didn't believe his own words, and in many ways he didn't. There was no denying the feelings, but did that make him gay? Could he take that step, and could he drag Jeff along with him? "I can't do that to you, make you gay along with me."

Jeff burst into laughter, as he turned the car away from the dark houses of parliament and up to the brighter lights of the main commercial street. He had a boisterous laugh, the kind that came from somewhere around the soul and bubbled up musically. He shook his head. "You didn't make me gay."

Nick looked over at him, still sitting quietly. Waiting for Jeff to calm down from his fit of laughter. Feeling a little stupid for saying it, but how else could he explain how he felt? He sighed in frustration over his own lack of communications skills. "You know what I mean." He snapped irritably.

Jeff continued to smile as the car pulled into the small parking lot which serviced the street. He turned to Nick and shook his head, "I may not know what, this..." he waved his hand again back and forth between them, "is all about, but I know you didn't make me anything I don't want to be." He finished almost awkwardly, as he got out of the car and rested on the roof of the car watching as Nick got out, "I just know that I love you."

"That's the second time you've said that to me," Nick said as he straightened up and looked about him at the gentle snow that fell. A few flakes had fallen into Jeff's hair and sat there like a light dusting of white in his sandy hair, and he just seemed so self-assured, so immovable.

Jeff's smile curled up one corner of his mouth as he tilted his head to the side, "Yeah I guess it is. This is the part where you tell me 'no' and leave me hanging like a dork."

Nick took a deep breath, "Yeah, I mean no, I guess" he said after a moment. He thumbed towards the restaurant, "Shouldn't we?"

Jeff stepped around the car, pushing his hair back out of his eyes and shaking off the snow; he looked nervous again, suddenly as uncertain of himself as he had been that night by the rink. "Yeah we should probably go eat."

Nick stopped and looked about him, and then sighed, "Jeff we're not ready for this. I'm not ready for this."

Jeff stepped carefully in the snow till he was standing in front of Nick, looking down at the shorter boy. He stood uncertain for a moment and then just reached out and pulled Nick closer to him. Nick felt the arms encircle his waist and he stood there a moment with his hands hanging down at his sides shaking his head.

"I can't do this Jeff." It was too much, everything all at once.

Jeff nodded, letting him go, "Come on, I promised you supper."

Nick reluctantly looked at the car, wishing again that he had just gone home. His head was swimming in possibilities. He was already branded a 'fag' at school, his parents knew, and his other family suspected him. But there was a difference between one kiss and what Jeff was asking him for. It was a massive line to cross, and it terrified him.

At sixteen he simply wasn't equipped to make a choice like that, was he? It would be so easy just to put his arms around Jeff and lose himself in that warm safe feeling that Jeff offered to him. But the doubts were just too much for him right then.

Jeff turned to lead the way, and Nick's hand snaked out of its own accord and grabbed Jeff's. He held it for a second, staring at it in disbelief; it was almost a panicked gesture, all that had flashed through his mind was that he wanted to touch him.

Jeff looked down at the hand in his own, and up at Nick's eyes and he nodded, "Yeah, I know, I'm pretty irresistible huh? That makes me sound like an ass. Just forget I said that."

Nick nodded, struggling to regain some semblance of his own inner strength as he held onto that hand, "I don't know why I did that." he said shakily as he let go of Jeff's hand and climbed over the small snow bank to the sidewalk.

"Let's go get something to eat, and we can talk." Jeff offered as they both walked around to the entrance to the restaurant

It was a sort of half-and-half establishment, a restaurant with a bar. Smoky bronze mirrors and comfortable seating. There was a pool table tucked off towards the back of the restaurant that really looked more like a bar than a restaurant. Luckily no one questioned them when they went in, and the waitress, a stout blonde woman with spiky blonde hair showed them to their table and went off to fetch them a couple of drinks.

Nick had kept his gaze firmly on the mug when it arrived, adding a couple of creamers to it and a couple of spoonfuls of sugar. Jeff, he noticed, had ordered a cup of tea. He looked at Jeff questioningly.

Jeff strained his tea bag and looked over at Nick, "Strange isn't it, you're the one that's supposed to be drinking tea, and I'm the one supposed to be a coffee fiend. Nothing racist, but just what people say."

Nick shrugged, "I've always liked coffee better, tea just tastes funny over here. It's like they don't make it properly." He grinned and sat back into the chair near to the window and looked up at Jeff the grin fading, "Why me?"

Jeff stirred a little milk into his tea as he thought, "I don't know. I started to notice you last year, this scruffy British kid who hung around with David."

"David and I don't really hang out." Nick said thinking about the Storm goalie whose party had started this mess.

Jeff shrugged, "He thinks of you as a friend. I asked him about you once at the start of the year."

"You what?" Nick asked incredulously, "but..."

Jeff winced, "No, it's not like that, or I didn't think it was like that." He blushed as he looked away, "I mean it wasn't, you know, I was just, Curious."

The waitress saved him from further embarrassment, coming over to take their order before disappearing again. Nick tried to relax; they were both getting strung-out over this. It had just been simpler in the car talking about life without the pressures of the big "L" word hanging over their heads.

"No, I understand," Nick said after the waitress had vanished again, and he offered Jeff a smile.

"No," Jeff said as he shifted in his chair and fiddled with a teaspoon, "I mean right up until the other night," his voice dropped, "in the car, and I had my arms around you," he again shifted, "and then I kissed you."

"Yeah I remember that, hard to forget really." Nick said with a shy smile, as his eyes met Jeff's. It was hopeless, their situation. It was just another stolen moment and could lead nowhere, but the way Jeff was sitting, relaxed in his chair, those eyes just piercing into him searching for some sign that his feelings were returned. Nick couldn't understand why it was him, there were better looking guys at school. "You still haven't said why."

Jeff accepted the burger the waitress handed to him and watched Nick's caeser salad with chicken strips, and he gestured with his fork. "This is why; you're not a carbon copy of every other person in school. You're interesting, you have depth above cars, boobs and parties." He sighed, "Want to know why I was out on the rink rather than getting drunk with the guys?"

Nick nodded, "Okay, why?"

"Because it's not me. I told you in the car that I don't want to be one of those guys. I'm better than that, I have to be." He shrugged, "And you make me realize that."

"I don't get it." Nick said truthfully, "Like you said I'm just that 'scruffy British kid.'"

"Who trusted me with his life," Jeff finished. "Who outside," he gestured in the direction of the parking lot, "just had to hold my hand. That's why it's you, Duval."

Nick looked down at his plate of food. "Oh." His voice was quiet as he searched for some kind of answers under a lettuce leaf, and unless the answer was a crouton he wouldn't find it in his salad. Was he gay? Everyone thought he was now, everyone said he was. But he had always shied away from 'gay thoughts'. He'd had the usual curiosity, and like the other night, he had dreamed about it. But that didn't him homosexual, what made you gay was wanting to be with a guy, right? Nick looked up at the guy he wanted to be with.

"What about school?" Nick asked, "You don't want that."

Jeff's brow creased as he chewed on his fries thinking, "Look Nick, neither of us really know what we want right now. But we can't just pretend that we don't feel anything. If you want I'll get up on a table at school and scream it for everyone to hear." he sounded serious, and that scared Nick a little.

"You're that sure?" Nick said glancing about him furtively, but the waitress was too far away to hear them.

"Duval, I mean Nick," Jeff leaned forward across the table and his hand touched Nick's, "It's my fault you're in that mess at school. I shouldn't have kissed you. I was confused, am confused about all of this. But I know that I'm not confused in how I feel. If you told me to do that I would..."

"I'd rather you didn't." Nick admitted reluctantly that he enjoyed the reassuring feeling of Jeff's hand on his own. He turned his palm outwards and Jeff immediately took it into his own larger ones. He stared at it for a long time.

"Refill on your coffee?" the waitress asked, not even bothering for a reply as she refilled his mug. She looked down at the two hands and threw Nick a wink, "Shame," she said softly as she walked off again.

Nick blushed scarlet as Jeff tried to hide his laughter. "See, I have good taste," he said with a grin, not letting go of Nick's hand, "I love you, Nick Duval."

"I-i think I l-love you too." Nick stammered, the knot in his stomach threatening to curl him into a little ball from the fear of actually acknowledging the feelings he had locked deep inside.

Jeff suddenly looked relieved, as he let out a long breath he had obviously been holding. "Wow," he said again, "I've never been that nervous before."

Nick blushed again letting go of Jeff's hand and picking up his coffee cup. The admission calmed him, and he squared his shoulders looking across the table at Jeff who was battling heroically with his banquet burger.

"So what now?" Nick asked.

Jeff grinned as he put the burger down, "I could kiss you again," he shrugged, "But after all that garlic in the salad I'd rather not."

Nick laughed, "That's not what I meant, I mean with us?"

Jeff sighed considering it, "Well why don't we just see where it takes us. I mean technically we've only kissed once and this is our first date."

Nick shook his head grinning, "Oh no, this isn't a date!"

Jeff's face fell slightly in disappointment, "Oh?"

"No, if you are going to take me out on a date I expect it to be done right," Nick said, sitting back in his own chair. He felt ridiculous, boys weren't supposed to go on dates, hold hands, kiss. But there he was doing all of those things. If he were a cheerleader he would be doing backflips by now. If he were a cheerleader he would be on his back by now.

He was shocked at the sudden thought, and blushed bright red. Jeff caught it, but didn't ask. He just sat chewing on his burger in an overtly masculine way, one arm on the back of the chair beside his own, the burger clutched in the other. And those eyes weighing him up.

"Mister Duval," he said in a formal sounding voice, "I would cordially ask to take you out for one night of dinner, dancing and romantic walks."

Nick stopped himself from choking on nothing and straightened up, "It would be both an honour and a privilege to accompany you sir." He forced a formal British accent that made him sound like an old school professor.

Jeff nodded, "It's a date then."

* * *

><p>After they had finished eating and Jeff had driven him home, Jeff walked him up to the porch of Wes's house. He stood hesitant for a moment in the quiet night, snow again drifting down around them. Nick took a deep breath knowing what was to come, but nerves took over and he began to talk.<p>

"Well I had fun tonight, and I'm sure that we can ..."

Jeff kissed him again cutting off his nonsensical banter; it was a playful kiss, soft and teasing, and he went to return it as Jeff pulled back. "Goodnight Nick." he whispered.

He leapt down the steps, sliding on the snow in Wes's drive, till he hopped into his car. He threw Nick one last wave and the car swept off. Nick shook his head as he opened the door and walked back into Wes's place carrying all his bags.

Sapphire and Wes sat on the couch, Wes refusing to look at him, and Sapphire looked constipated. Like she couldn't wait to say something. He barely noticed as he got out of his shoes and went to go upstairs.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sapphire said with a happy tone in her voice, "you don't kiss on the door step and not tell me all about it."

Nick looked back down at her, and at Wes who was laughing into the couch. He flushed red, they'd seen him. He shrugged, "I don't kiss and tell." he smirked quickly jogging up the stairs to put his new clothes away.

* * *

><p><strong>Thankyou for the 3 lovely pm's I received wishing me luck on my exams, thankyou to gottriplets for checking the names (I actually wrote a chapter with no name muck ups this time). And I can't believe this story has received 59 reviews so thankyou all so much for that!<strong>

**Moving on,**

**Next chapter: It's nice to know you still have friends that will stand by you through thick and thin not caring what your sexuality is, Jeff stands up for Nick during an English class about reputation when the topic changes from smoking, to fags, to Nick; and why do the boys always get caught kissing?**

_**Next chapter - I doubt will be up till Saturday or Sunday, I've run out of chapters which I've already prewritten so the updates probably won't be daily like they have been. For once i'm not actually busy this weekend though so hopefully I'll be able to just sit down and write for the day but I won't make any promises because I have a short focus period and I'm really bad at trying to sit still for a long while. Usually while i'm writing i'll just randomly get up walk into the kitchen or my bedroom for no reason, won't get anything from that room, and then just sit back down infront of my laptop and continuing writing. Now you all know how weird I am :).**_


	10. Caught

There he was again, day two of trying to survive high school after being branded a 'fag'. He had ridden in with Wes and had luckily been spared the bus ride. It felt kind of good not to be bouncing along the back roads with a whole bunch of screaming kids who liked nothing more than to be as rude and as vulgar as they could.

Wes was unusually boisterous that morning; it was as if he awoke each morning with a new burst of energy that he couldn't contain. He seemed to jump from one task to another without stopping. Producing a breakfast of oatmeal that he set down in front of Nick. Nick had looked down at it and winced, apologizing profusely he had settled for a cup of strong coffee that curled his toes and woke him up like a vicious slap.

However, despite Wes's energy that morning, Nick felt sluggish. He had so much swimming about in his mind that he barely noticed the drive. Staring out the window at the houses whipping by. He had chosen some of the clothes Paul had insisted on buying him the night before, a cool pair of Khaki Cargo's and a dark purple dress shirt. Over that, of course the leather jacket had been tossed. It was the coolest he had ever dressed.

As he went to get out of the truck, Wes stopped him and lifted a pair of sunglasses off of the dash and casually put them on Nick's head, not on, more that they rested on top. He nodded in satisfaction at his addition and hopped down out of the truck. "Any one fucks with you today." He said firmly, "Tell 'em I'll see them after school for a real lesson."

Nick nodded at his friend, the senior shop jock that had a protective side. It was a don't fuck with me attitude that he cultivated so much that most people just didn't see him for who he really was. Wes could be kind, thoughtful and generous but hid it well beneath a veneer of indifference.

He took a deep breath as he pushed his way into the school lobby ready for anything.

Except the stares of utter disbelief. About twenty or so kids stopped to look at him as he walked in, and a palpable hush settled over them, causing Nick to look frantically over his shoulder hoping there was someone standing behind him. He wasn't that lucky, and his stomach clenched, he knew exactly what they must have all been thinking.

David broke the spell of silence that had been cast over what seemed like the whole school, "Hey Duval!" he walked right up to Nick, bucklied his knees extending his hand to slap Nick's hand, "Looking sharp!" he took a step back and nodded approvingly, as the lobby of students roused themselves from their stunned silence and went back to their talking.

"Don't get too close David,"Dave Karofsky, a heavyset defenseman on the Condor's team sneered as he walked past, "he might be after your ass."

David arched his eyebrow at Karofsky, built like a brick building with a low center of mass, Karofsky could drop just about anyone in the school and had on several occasions. The C on his jacket was the only thing standing between him and a full-blown suspension. He had a perpetual angry look on his face, one that was now directed at Nick.

"Yeah?" David looped an arm over Nick's shoulder, "Looking like this I think he might just get it too!"

Karofsky froze in mid stride, gaping openly at David, "You what-?" he choked.

That deadly silence had descended over the lobby again. Nick wished he'd stayed home that day, even the dirty looks thrown his way yesterday were better then the stares he was getting now. What did David think he was achieving, was he looking to get his face completely dearranged just to try and stick up for Nick?

David just smiled, and pointed at Karofsky, "Dude you should totally see your face!"

There was a burst of laughter as the lobby kids realized David had been teasing Karofsky. Karofsky worked his jaw a couple of times cluing in to the fact that he was the butt of his own joke, and he sneered again stalking off towards the gym with a look that could kill pasted on his red face.

David guided Nick over to where Sapphire was sitting with a cup of coffee already poured and waiting for Nick. As he sat down he tilted up his hat to wipe his brow. "Wow that was cool."

Nick sat down as he shook his head, "What was that all about?"

David grinned, "Hey I figured throw them a curve ball and they'd be too busy scrambling to figure it out they would forget completely about you. Besides everyone knows I'm straight." He grinned, "I am sleeping with a cheerleader."

"You're a pig." Sapphire commented as she handed Nick his flask of coffee, she looked him over approvingly, "Who'd have thought there'd be a teenager under all those old scruffy clothes. Now we just have to get your hair cut and you'd be hot."

Nick shook his head as he drank from his coffee cup, "I'm not hot." He said with a shy grin.

Sapphire smirked and reached out to turn his head to look at the large glass bulletin board. It had a black backing so it acted like a mirror reflecting the table, and Nick saw a stranger sitting where he should have been. He really hadn't looked at himself that morning, stumbling about half awake and tugging on clothes. He sat and stared, it was a wonder what new clothes could do, and Paul had made sure to dress him in things that were stylish. And added to that the sunglasses gave him a touch of style.

He blushed. It was still him, but not him. He shook his head as he sat back in the chair a weird smile on his face. He looked good and he couldn't deny it. Sapphire was right, he needed a haircut but other than that he looked... good.

Jeff was crossing the lobby heading towards the gym and he stopped, doing a double take. His eyes wide in surprise before he quickly recovered, looking about him to see if anyone had seen. Sapphire had caught Jeff red-handed, still sitting beside Nick she smirked at his shocked reaction. David, as usual, remained oblivious.

Nick looked up at Jeff and smiled confidently, the blond could still stir butterflies in his stomach, but the look of surprise on Jeff's face was calming. In a single look he had shown Nick that he was not the only one to be nervous about what they had started.

Jeff checked about him once again, and gave Nick a secretive wink before continuing on his way to the gym. Condor territory.

* * *

><p>Mr Greenwood had been there since the school had opened, and nobody questioned his right to be head of the English department of the school. He was considered brilliant, and the students lucky enough to have him always passed on stories of how hard he worked.<p>

He always reminded Jeff of his father when he'd been alive they had that same kind of temperament even though Greenwood was a bit older. There was a sense of energy about the man, and an irreverence that endeared him to the students. He was one of those men that could actually relate to his students. If the rumours were to be believed, it was because he had been a renegade protester in the sixties.

Jeff's mother had always dismissed that as gossip and rumour, something she had no patience for. She was known around town for her strong stance against the rumour mill that seemed to fuel a small town. There were members of her church group that went so far as to avoid Micheline Sterling, fearful of incurring a stern lecture from her on the subject.

Jeff grinned as he sat up towards the back of the auditorium listening to Greenwood recite a selection from Othello.

"Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial." Greenwood's voice resonated around the stage as he closed the book. He was the only teacher in the school other then Mr Schuester that used the Auditorium as a teaching tool. Treating it like a university lecture hall, he rested a hand on the lectern and stared up at the Grade 12 students, "What did Shakespeare mean when he penned those words?"

A student's hand snaked up, "He is saying that a person's reputation is important, so important that without it they are nothing?"

Greenwood shook his head, "Quite the contrary," he stepped down off of the stage and took the floor of the auditorium, tapping the book against his hand, "He is saying that reputation is important to the individual. It his perception of himself as reflected in the eyes on another that he feels separates him from an animal. But..." he held up a finger, "We are not slaves to reputations, if we allow our 'image' to dictate who we are and how we act then are we no better off than an animal? What separates us from the animals is the capacity for independent thought, that freedom to be whoever we wanted to be regardless of what another person thinks or feels about it."

Jeff raised his own hand, "I'm sorry sir, but our society isn't built like that, we depend on reputations to dictate where we sit in a social group..."

Greenwood smiled, "Spoken like a man with a reputation to protect." He sat down on the edge of the stage and set the book aside, "we are all concerned with how we are supposed to look, how we are supposed to act that we sometimes don't notice that what we want to do, and what we are doing are two different things."

Rachel Berry, one of the most dynamic seniors in the school and a definite contender for Valedictorian that year held up her hand, "But what about social obligations?"

"How far does that go?" Jeff countered looking across the hall at her, "We all have social obligations, to the law and to what's morally acceptable, but what about something like slavery. It was socially acceptable to own slaves."

"Mister Sterling raises a good point," Greenwood said, "it took some brave people a long time ago to realize that the perception was wrong and for them to set out to change the beliefs of everyone around them. But we don't need to go for such an old example, can anyone think of an example of how perceptions in this school could affect the decisions you make?"

Rachel nodded, "Yes smoking."

Greenwood nodded, "Definitely, society tells you smoking is wrong, yet we have for the longest time thought it was socially acceptable to smoke."

"Fags." David Karofsky yelled from the back of the room where he lounged with one leg looped over the top of the chair in front of him sitting next to a couple of his friends.

Jeff winced.

"A perfect example," Greenwood said as he stood up again, "Is homosexuality wrong?"

There was a murmur in the auditorium, and Greenwood swept his gaze over each of them. "I see we have a pretty mixed crowd here today." He observed, "So lets not focus on the issue of Homosexuality itself, but the perception of homosexuality."

"Like that Duval kid." Mario Guerra chimed up, the small italian who was on the basketball team.

"Duval kid?" Greenwood asked.

"Yes," Rachel said as she adjusted her blouse, "there is a kid in the grade below us that was 'supposedly'" she threw a meaningful glance back up at Karofsky, "Caught kissing another guy."

Greenwood became a bit nervous, "I don't think we should be discussing a specific person..."

"Duval's gay," Karofsky threw back, "If he wasn't why hasn't he denied anything?"

"Maybe," Rachel said turning fully now to affix a dark stare at the hockey player, "he hasn't had a chance to deny it, because some people have already made up their minds!"

"I heard he got kicked out of his house," Mario chimed in, "If he wasn't gay why'd his dad kick him out?"

"Listen," Greenwood tried to interject again, "I don't think this is appropriate..."

Jeff felt himself sinking lower into his chair, his mind swimming back to that first kiss. For the first time realizing exactly what Nick had been talking about. He wanted to say something anything, put a stop to this debate, but what could he say?

He was standing before he realized it, his hands sunk into his pockets as he looked about the room, "Do any of you actually know Nicholas Duval?" he watched their surprised reactions to his sudden anger, "I mean really know him?" he looked up at Karofsky, "Did you know Duval's dad is in the British Army, that even the suspicion of his son being gay is enough to send that bastard over the edge?" He looked over at Mario, "Ever stop to ask him if he's gay? Even if he was what difference does it really make? I know him; I've talked to him. Just accusing him of being gay based off of what one girl thought she saw in a park..." he shook his head as he sat back down seething. He hated getting angry like that, but he couldn't just sit there, that was Nick they were talking about.

"Jeff's right," Rachel stated, actually agreeing with him. Rachel had never agreed with Jeff on anything. It was surprising, she nodded at him again as she stood up, "You're judging someone you don't even know. I think-"

She was cut off by the sharp sound of the bell. As students rushed to collect their books Greenwood called out to them, "It just serves to prove that even though Shakespeare is old, his message remains the same. I expect your English papers at the end of the week and we will have a test on this on Monday."

* * *

><p>The day just seemed to be getting longer for Nick, lunch time he had planned just to find a quiet corner and hide, but for some bizarre reason seniors kept saying hello to him. There were still dirty looks, even a few snide comments thrown at him by kids in his own grade and lower, but the seniors seemed split. Some openly acknowledging him warmly, some with looks of pity and others with outright hostility.<p>

As a group of senior girls said hello to him and walked away giggling and throwing looks back at him over their shoulders, he felt that all too familiar flush of embarrassment sweep over him.

"Well that's just strange!" Sapphire observed reaching into her locker to retrieve her lunch, she looked at Nick and noted he hadn't brought a lunch with him. She gave him a worried maternal look as she closed the locker. "Do you have money for your lunch?" she asked in concern.

He nodded absently as his head turned to follow a couple of seniors that had greeted him as strangely as the others had. "You think they put something in the water today?" he craned his head around her to look down the hall.

She looked him up and down and shook her head, "You're just popular all of a sudden."

He winced, looking at her as if she had told him he had grown a tentacle out of his forehead that was waving a Norwegian flag and screaming un-boring. "Look I don't know much," his voice dipped, "But this isn't supposed to happen. This morning I was being thrown dirty looks and rude comments behind my back."

She shrugged at him leading the way down towards the cafeteria, "Well if it makes you feel any better there's still a lot of people that dislike you." She shrugged, "Maybe it's just the clothes, you do look good."

She drew up short and Nick nearly collided with her, he stared at her a moment the looked around to where Quinn blocked their path. The cheerleader had her gaggle of Cheerios with her. The popular girls that seemed to flock together out of some kind of mutual need to stroke each others egos.

Quinn was one of the prettiests girl in the whole of Westerville High. She had hair that was only just a little darker then Jeff's locks of blond and she wore it in a high ponytail that was carefully curled so not even small strands of hair were out of place . Her Latino best friend Santana clutched her books to her breast standing as ever at her right hand side. The two were as inseparable as twins. Both in his year, Nick swallowed as he felt Sapphire tense.

"We were looking for you Sapphire." She said in a matter of fact tone. The kind that said 'I'm popular so you will do what I tell you.' She smiled prettily, "we were going to eat and I," the way she said 'I' it was as if she was taking sole credit for the decision, "Felt you should join us."

"Well I was going to eat with Nick" she said nervously, glancing at him.

He smiled, "I'll be alright, you go, we'll catch up later."

She looked at him for confirmation of his decision before Quinn swept off with her arm around Sapphire. Nick smiled, circle jumping as Sapphire had called it last week. He was glad for her; she had always wanted to be one of the in-crowd. He stuck his hands into his pocket and sauntered down to his locker to get his new jacket.

He didn't feel like eating in the school cafeteria, but there was a store just a half block away he could pick up some lunch there. Something that wouldn't hit the plate with a cold hard splat as it was deposited there by a lunch lady that looked as if she hated her job.

He had just crossed the lobby to the front doors when David caught up to him. "Hey! Well if it isn't the guy everyone's talking about."

Nick chewed on his lip as he scratched his temple, "I don't get it, this morning it was as if I had some incurable disease and now..." he trailed off.

"Apparently Greenwood had a debate today about homosexuality, and you were the case study."

Nick's jaw dropped open, "what?" he choked. His stomach churned around inside as if it was preforming multiple back-flips.

David patted his buddy's shoulder, "Don't worry it wasn't like that. Apparently Karofsky brought your name up, and both Captain Amazing and the Ice Queen shot him down."

"Captain Amazing and the Ice Queen?" Nick asked in open confusion.

"Jeffrey Sterling and Rachel Berry," He grinned as he followed Nick out into the snow, the pair walking down the hill towards the store together. David continued his description of events, "so Karofsky was being an ass, no surprise there, and Jeff gets up and asks him if he ever actually asked you if you were gay, and Karofsky was like, 'uh errr...' and Jeff went on to blast him about being prejudice, and then Rachel gets up, and we all know what a tongue she has on her, and she tore strips off of him. Basically from what I heard, they said 'get to know him before you judge if he's gay or not'."

Nick shook his head in dismay, "Oh no."

David nodded, "Yeah I know fucked up isn't it." He glanced at Nick, "so are you, you know?"

Nick balked, staring at David's bold question in shock.

David shrugged, "I figured I'm your friend, and since I stick up for you I could ask." he suddenly realized how his question sounded and he shook his head, "No-no, I mean, its like I don't care if you are or not, and I won't tell anyone or anything if you were. I was just curious."

Nick stared at the half inch of snow he was trudging through, wondering at how he should answer that question. It wasn't that he didn't trust David, he did, David was good to him, and had been absolutely amazing to him since the start of the mess.

"I don't know," he said choosing the truth, "I'm just really confused right now, it's difficult to explain."

David nodded sagely, "We've all been there." He punched Nick's arm playfully, "you'll figure it out, now me I like the ladies," his eyes sparkled as he grinned, "just in case you got any ideas."

Nick laughed in return, as they both pushed their way into the store.

* * *

><p>Jeff sat watching the basketball team run through its daily routine, small scrimmage games in the gym that really served no point other than to kill time. Half of his team were out there was well bouncing balls around, and he sat at the table normally set aside for the scoreboard controls. It was his right to sit there while everyone else lounged on benches or on the floor. It wasn't like it was a written rule; it was just that he usually sat there on his lunch hour.<p>

Greenwood's class had bothered him, and he had skipped his lunch instead choosing to watch the basketballs bouncing around. Across the way Bruce Guitard was playing badminton with one of the junior coaches. Bruce was up for a regional tournament and was practicing whenever he could. He was agile, quick and dominated the game.

Jeff didn't feel like participating, sometimes he did he could play basketball, but it wasn't as much fun as hockey could be. He was looking forward to his game on the weekend. and idly speculated that they would play well, he had a practice after school and intended to work his team hard.

Coach Beiste was refereeing the basketball scrimmage, she was everything a coach should be. She was a good coach, sharp witted, protective and caring of her team. But that meant most of them felt they could get away with anything. Guys like Dave Karofsky who, since earning his jacket had become a major asshole.

Jeff looked at his watch, glancing about him at the group of people sitting chatting about nothing in particular. He noticed Quinn and her friends were clustered around that waify friend of Nick's. The red head that looked almost elfin in her appearance. They seemed to be talking like they had been friends for years. It was amazing what a rumour, even a bad one, could do for a person's popularity. Greenwood had been right about reputations.

He got up, noticing the shift of some of his teammates getting ready to come with him. He shook his head as he motioned for them to keep sitting, "I've got to go to my locker." He said indicating he wanted to be alone. Generally most people respected that, though sometimes there were a couple of the juniors that hadn't learned to leave him be.

Today they stayed where they were. He nodded to himself in satisfaction as he sauntered across the gym. His calm rolling gaits letting him amble through the other kids. He never appeared to be in a rush to get anywhere, why hurry. His Mother had always taught him that he would get there eventually.

He wasn't heading for his locker, he had finished his homework the night before, but seeing Sapphire had given him an urge to track down Nick. It was irrational and he knew it, what could he possibly say in school? And some one was bound to notice eventually that the Captain of the Team was being so friendly with a sophomore.

_Reputation, reputation, reputation._

Greenwood's deep baritone voice rang in his ears, as he entered the Lobby attached to the Cafeteria, taking a moment to stop and nod hello to a few people that had done the same to him. He glanced around the brick pillars that separated the lobby from the main cafeteria and saw no sign of Nick. He continued on past the office and leaned in the doors of the Library. Still nothing. He sighed a little in frustration as he continued through the school, glancing into the classrooms that were like carbon copies of each other, square magnolia with chalkboards and cheap desks.

It was a typical high school a little older than most, built in the late sixties and modernized several times since then. But it was clean; there was no peeling paint. All the lockers were the same shade of deep magnolia and all the doors were a drab olive green, pretty dull. He walked until he wound his way down into the shop area of the school. Huge bays for auto shop, wood working, there were even a welding class held down there once a week. It wasn't Jeff's area of the school, but he figured find Wes and he would probably find Nick.

But other than some determined guys wrestling with an engine block Jeff was disappointed again. It was turning into an empty quest and he stuck his hands into his pockets as he walked back the way he had come. Nick was about somewhere, but was proving elusive, and it was getting close to the end of the lunch hour, so Jeff felt he might as well just get his books and go to class.

Something drew him towards basement where Nick kept his locker, that quiet corner of the school no-one bothered with. Sure enough Nick was sitting at the foot of his locker, nose tucked into a book. He didn't seem to notice Jeff approaching until the senior crouched down beside him.

"Must be a good book." He observed with a smile.

Nick glanced up from it a surprised smile on his own face. He set the book across his knees, "Revising for French." He replied after a moment, "what are you doing down here?"

Jeff looked at the darkened hallway and shrugged, "Looking for you, you're a difficult guy to find."

Nick shrugged, "I felt kind of uncomfortable with all the attention so figured I'd hide down here." He turned slightly to face Jeff, "though I think I have to find a better hiding place."

Jeff shifted to sit down beside Nick, "I'll hunt you down. I'll have you know that I am a world class tracker."

"Ahh," Nick said with a grin, "Guess i'd never have to worry about getting lost then."

Jeff chuckled, "Yep, but don't do anything stupid like adventure in a forest, my tracking skills have yet to be known." He said with a wry grin.

The bell rang and Jeff looked up at it in annoyance, so much for his alone time with Nick. He smiled a moment watching as a couple of students hurried to their lockers, not even acknowledging the two young men sitting on the floor. The vanished again as the second bell rang a couple of minutes later.

Neither of them bothered to stand up, even though they were now both late for class.

"We're late." Nick informed the blond.

Jeff nodded, "Detention for sure, never took you as a badass Duval."

"I blame you for leading my astray." Nick commented blushing slightly.

Jeff laughed as he got to his feet, "We should get to class." He extended a hand to help Nick up, and as he pulled the younger man up, he looked about him up the hall, confident no one was about he leaned in to touch his lips to Nick's.

Nick blushed a furious shade of red, "We can't do that here," he protested around Jeff's mouth touching his. Jeff ignored him and gently brushed his nose under Nick's.

He felt Nick finally relax, and begin to return the kiss, his hands reaching up into the warm jacket to touch Nick's chest through the thin shirt he wore under it. And then Nick stiffened up, his eyes widening in shock. Jeff broke his kiss and looked puzzled at Nick a second before he turned.

Mister Greenwood stood in the hallway, a look of shock mirroring Nick's own on his aged face. He looked first at Nick and then turned his head to Jeff before turning back.

"Mr Duval I presume." Greenwood said regaining his composure, watching as Nick hurriedly stepped backwards, he looked over at Jeff, "And you must be the mysterious man from the park."

"Um..." Jeff shifted uncomfortably, Nick looked like he was about to suffer a complete heart failure; he was a shade of mortification white, his eyes wide and glassy. Jeff felt his heart go out to him.

Mister Greenwood looked between the two of them, the absurdity of the situation finally became too much for him and he began to chuckle. "You two are going to get to class," he said making his mind up, "And I am going to forget I saw this today." He coughed in his own embarrassment, "And I am going to give you both the same lecture I give to other people I find... kissing in the halls." He shook his head in wonder, "Though this is the first time, this is a place of learning, and you do that in a classroom, not, err... in the halls."

Jeff nodded dumbstruck. Nick just continued to stand there, frozen with terror. "It won't happen again Mister Greenwood." Jeff spoke up, "I'll just... well make sure Duval here gets to class."

Greenwood shook his head, "I think Mr Duval is in need of a glass of water, you go Sterling, I will ensure Mr Duval gets to his next class."

"Y-yes sir..." Jeff stuttered nervously, throwing a final apologetic glance at Nick before he jogged off as fast as he could manage without looking silly.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry It took so long to update, turned out I did have a busy weekend afterall; made last minute plans, so again sorry!<strong>

**As always thankyou for the lovely reviews, and thankyou to the amazing gottriplets for name-checking the chapters.**

**Next chapter is just a filler before there first official date :3 Already have it written so it should be up soon!**


	11. Masculine

Greenwood calmly set a hand on Nick's shoulder, staring him squarely in the eye "Mister Duval?" He inquired calmly, "Are you going to be okay?"

Nick stared at the kindly old gentleman's face, feeling himself still shaking from the shock of the situation, "I don't know." He replied with total honesty. He was beginning to recover from the surprise of being caught; beginning to think again, and his thoughts terrified him.

Greenwood nodded, "Come with me Mister Duval." He led the young man up through the heart of the school, winding through the halls till he led the way into a cramped lounge that was officially a teacher's lounge but seldom, if ever, used. It was the one Sapphire often raided for coffee.

Greenwood pointed to one of the couches, a gaudy faux leather thing that had been donated sometime in the eighties and flatly refused to die. Nick sat on it, feeling a sense of dread sweeping over him. He wanted to be in class, he wanted.. he wanted to be anywhere else than right there at that time.

Greenwood poured a couple of cups of coffee, and returned, pushing one into Nick's hands he sat down in a rather comfortable looking chair. "I think, under the circumstances we should have a talk." He said sternly.

Nick swallowed, stirring some sugar into his coffee and adjusting his position on the couch, "I guess..."

Greenwood stroked his Vandyke beard with aged fingers. Studying Nick with a careful eye, there was silence between them and Nick wondered what the old man was thinking about. He was growing a bit self-conscious sitting there cradling a mug of coffee. So he decided to take a hesitant step forward.

"I-I'm sorry about that."

Greenwood arched an eyebrow resting simply in his chair, "I'm not concerned about the fact you were kissing in the halls." He said with a tight smile, "I am more concerned about you." He set his coffee down on the coffee table and steepled his fingers in front of him, "It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and I was wondering if you needed to talk about any of it."

Nick sat quietly looking at the swirls the cream had made in his coffee, "I don't know." He said again.

"That's not like the young Nicholas Duval I've heard so much about." Greenwood observed, "I was under the impression you were quite an opinionated young man. Your English teacher seems to think you have strong opinions on most things. I've read some of your Essays; I tend to agree with her."

"I guess." Nick said still feeling nervous, but a thought crept in, Greenwood had read his essays?

"You're conclusions were all wrong." Greenwood said with a dry chuckle, "But considering you're still in high school you still presented a strong argument." He sat forward a bit changing the subject, "How long have you and Jeff...?"

Nick winced again, "N-not long." There was no point in denying anything Greenwood wasn't blind.

The teacher nodded his head. "He's a good young man, a good head on his shoulders."

"Y-yeah." Nick agreed.

"This is awkward to ask," Greenwood said still studying Nick carefully, "Are you comfortable with his advances?"

Nick was startled, something on his face must have given that a way because Greenwood nodded, "I just wanted to make sure. He was very protective of you earlier today."

"I-I heard." Nick's checks began burning a bright red, embarrassed that he had been the subject of debate, that his life discussed in open forum.

Greenwood nodded, "Yes, I wanted to apologize for that, I do not normally allow such a discussion in my class. But you should know Mister Sterling was very forceful in his defence of you." He paused, "Now in hindsight I can see why."

Nick's cheeks reddened even further.

Greenwood nodded, "Well I just wanted to make sure that you were alright and that Mister Sterling wasn't,." he choose his words carefully, "taking advantage of your current state."

Nick shook his head adamantly, "Sir, it's not like that, Jeff wouldn't..." the thought was abhorrent.

Greenwood nodded, "Yes, I can see he feels for you quite strongly, and you for him." He almost smiled, then caught it and buried it under a look of concern, "I will give you the same lecture I give to the young ladies I find in similar situations. Mister Sterling is a very popular young man and you may feel pressure to act on emotions." He gave Nick a meaningful look, "Just be certain you're ready, alright?"

Nick nodded again, feeling mildly reassured.

Greenwood nodded, "Then you can go back to class Mr Duval." He watched as Nick got up to leave, "Oh and I meant what I said, I saw nothing. Just don't do it in the halls again."

Nick nodded thankfully, "We won't Mister Greenwood."

After he had left, Greenwood remained in his chair rubbing his temples chuckling to himself. That was definitely a first for him. It wasn't everyday you gave a lecture to a boy, about a boy.

* * *

><p>Jeff caught up with Nick just after the final bell, he was carrying his equipment bag and a pair of taped up hockey sticks that he endeavoured to wrestle around to keep from dropping everything. He looked at Nick with a sheepish grin as he set the bag down and propped the sticks up against a locker.<p>

He was probably going to be late getting to practice, but he didn't seem in a hurry. Nick was shrugging on his coat and stuffing books into his backpack getting ready to go home.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier..." Jeff started nervously, again pushing his hands into his pockets. Nick picked up on the nervous gesture; it was something Jeff did subconsciously, and Nick couldn't help but grin.

"It's okay, Mister Greenwood just wanted to make sure you weren't taking advantage of me." He put on an innocent look, "Big bad Hockey player stealing my virtue and all that."

Jeff's eyes widened in surprise, "He said what?"

Nick was enjoying the scandalized look far too much, and he closed his locker door, "He gave me the same lecture he gives all the cheer leaders."

Jeff leaned on his hockey sticks, "So," he seemed to consider it a moment, "You're a cheerleader?"

Nick gave Jeff a flat look, "I swear down I will never kiss you again, in public or in private if you ever try and make some sort of joke related to cheerleaders Jeffrey Sterling" He grinned before rolling his shoulders into a small shrug "Though I'll walk you to your car, you have practice tonight right?"

Jeff just nodded as he recovered his equipment bag, and the two of them walked through the school towards the student parking lot. "You wouldn't really be able to refuse a kiss from me though would you? Kiss me once and you're practically hooked." Jeff said thoughtfully, almost as if he was making a general statement.

Nick rolled his eyes and pouted his bottom lip playfully "You're not as irresistible as you seem to think you are Jeff." he replied.

"Oh really?" Jeff asked. He leaned in and brushed his lips softly against Nick's, there skin barely making contact before pulling away. Jeff smirked when Nick let out an annoyed groan. "Sorry Duval but you were the one who implied you would be able to resist me, plus after today I don't think kissing you here would go down to well."

"Ass" Nick muttered under his breath.

A quick glance showed Wes had waited for him, the Chinese boy sitting on the hood of his truck smoking a cigarette and staring off at nothing in particular. It was kind of him to wait, and Nick felt grateful for such a small gesture.

"Looks like your ride is waiting for you," Jeff observed as he opened the door to his own car, the smile on his face became a little unsteady, "Look, I'm sorry about today. I shouldn't, not at school."

Nick stuck his hands in his pocket in a mimic of Jeff's gesture, "I'm not as fragile as you think I am." He said with a shrug, "Though it just seems every time you kiss me we get caught."

Jeff nodded in concern, "And that bothers you."

Nick patted the roof of Jeff's car, "You're late for practice," he offered a small smile, "good luck."

Jeff glanced about him and gently but quickly kissed Nick's cheek. "For luck," he explained as he got into his black mustang and shut the door. The two boys waved a short goodbye to each other before Jeff pulled out of the parking lot.

Nick smiled to himself, pivoting on the heel of his foot he stopped when he was facing the way he wanted to go.

Wes was still smoking when Nick crossed the parking lot, and Nick moved to hop up on the hood of the truck beside him. The two young men sat quietly for a while as Wes stared peacefully at the school. Nick didn't say anything, not wanting to disturb the warrior's quiet contemplation.

It was a strange way to look at Wes, but that is what he reminded Nick of. A young man so angry at the world that he felt he had to pull against the system, push the limits of what he could do. One of those people that steadfastly refused to live within the sterile boundaries of society, he had to chart his own course no matter how many people told him the world was flat, he had to see it for himself.

"We're waiting for Sapphire" Wes said after a minute of silence, as if answering Nick's unasked question as to why they were still waiting.

As if summoned by the very mention of her name, she pushed out of the doors to the school and walked over to the truck. She looked tired as she got into the cab, and the two guys exchanged worried looks as they got in as well.

She sighed expressively as she hugged Wes before he started the truck, "Thanks for giving me a ride, I have to get my hair done tonight." she shook her head, "So much to do."

Wes nodded as he drove the truck down from the school, taking a turn that brought him onto the small main street of Westerville, he came to a stop outside the small stylists that Nick always felt was outrageously over priced.

As she got out she locked onto Nick's arm, "You're coming with me." She said firmly, and she threw a sweet smile over at Wes, "See you in an hour, ok?"

Nick began to protest as she pushed him through the doors into the small salon, each time he formulated some clear argument for him to not be there, she countered it. I can't afford it, I'm paying. I normally go to barbers, this is a stylists it's better and so on. Till finally he was sitting in the chair, an overtly enthusiastic hairdresser happily clipping away at his hair, sculpting it for the first time in his life.

He had been so used to the same haircut, a pair of buzz clippers that just shaved everything off when it grew too long that when asked he really had no idea what to ask for. The stylist had looked over at Sapphire for direction, and the young woman, hair soaking with highlight treatments offered her advice.

After a half hour of cutting, clipping and styling he was looking at a person he barely recognized in the mirror. His hair had been brought in close at the sides, but had been left a little long on top, the stylist had used a little wax to let the hair stay upright, and she ruffled her fingers through it to give it a more natural look.

"Very cute," she said with a smile.

Nick frowned; to him when someone told you that you were cute he thought of it as a way of being told "You're so ugly that it's actually adorable." He smiled when he was finally permitted out of the chair and he sat down on a chair waiting for Sapphire to finish.

She came out looking almost exactly the same as she had going in, just a little neater. But naturally a fuss had to be made over how good she looked. Nick never quite understood the need to constantly comment on new haircuts or clothes, but then he had never really had to. Growing up in the Major's house had meant a very strict, disciplined upbringing, a very masculine upbringing. This was the way boys were supposed to act, and so that was the way he acted.

As they waited idly for Wes to return sitting on the steps of the salon Nick looked at her over the rims of Wes's aviator sunglasses, she was a beautiful woman, fine auburn hair spiralling down into ringlets gave her the appearance of a true Celtic beauty, delicate and waify she moved with a grace that so many other girls in the town were jealous of. And rightly so, Quinn was a lumbered when she walked alongside Sapphire. Sapphire had the potential to be the most beautiful girl in school without even knowing it, but she was also the most real. Too many years pretending to be a boy when she was younger Nick guessed.

"What?" Sapphire asked self-consciously as she noticed Nick was staring at her.

"I was just thinking how beautiful you were." He said honestly, glancing back down at the slush filled roads where a couple of children were splashing about in puddles.

She gave him a warm smile. "Flirt," She accused with a playful look, "Now at least I know why you don't have a girlfriend."

Nick shifted uncomfortably, "I..."

She reached out and squeezed his knee, "It's okay, and I don't blame you, Jeff's well he's a great guy even if he is a meat head jock."

Nick nodded, suddenly craving a cigarette, not that he smoked, but he had heard they did wonders for the nerves. He looked over at Sapphire again and shrugged, "Greenwood caught us kissing in the halls today."

"No!" she said incredulously looking at him with wide luminous eyes, "What is it with you and getting caught all the time?"

Nick chuckled, "I don't know. Guess I have a secret kink for exhibition?" He gave a slight shrug, "But Greenwood's not going to tell anyone. Though he did give me a lecture about-"

"Let me guess," Sapphire interrupted doing her best Greenwood impression complete with the stroking motion of the beard, "you may feel pressure to, act on emotions." She flashed her dazzling smile; "I got the same lecture last year when I was dating one of the Condor's."

Nick nodded, "Apparently he says it to all the girls."

Sapphire snorted, "He thinks you are the girl?" She shook her head as she laughed, "Boy he doesn't know you that well, your about as stereo-typically masculine as I am feminine."

"Not that much then." Nick replied as he ducked under her attempt to cuff the back of his head.

She stopped laughing and turned to him, "But it's true though, I'd have never though you were gay. You're quiet, a little shy at times, but you're not effeminate."

"I know, it's confusing, because Jeff is certainly a masculine guy." Nick said having difficulty trying to express what was running through his head, "I just can't explain it, I just feel safe when he touches me..." his voice trailed off as he stared absently at the grey concrete pavement.

She studied his face in concern, and relaxed. She knew him too well and she could read him clearly. "It'll be okay," she said reassuringly, "you'll figure it out."

He gave a ragged breath as he leaned back on the steps, "Yeah, it's strange if you'd have told me a month ago I'd be..." his voice dipped conspiratorially, "dating a guy, I'd have laughed so hard."

She looked at him again, reading his expressions and nodding, "Then you must like him a lot."

Nick thought about Jeff juggling all of his hockey equipment, deliberately late for practice just to spend a few more minutes with him. Those brown eyes that sparkled whenever they looked at him. The nervous kisses and timid way he said I love you. The way he parted his hair just off from the centre. The way he stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered.

Nick blushed, "Yeah I think I do."

Sapphire beamed, "Good, because you deserve to be happy, and you look good too."

"I'm da' schiznit." He said with a smirk.

She winced turning up her nose at his attempt to be American Ghetto, "Don't do that again, it sounds so wrong when you say it."

He nodded sobering up slightly, "Do you think I'm gay?" he said, startling her.

She took his hand and felt him cling to it for a while waiting for her to reply, eventually she just shook her head, "I think you are in love Nick, and really that's all that matters. I personally don't believe in labels. You're just luck enough to have him feel the same way. Just enjoy it and see where it takes you."

Wes's truck rumbled to a stop at the curb and they both reluctantly got up, and out of instinct Sapphire threw her arms around Nick and hugged him. He stood there looking down at her quizzically, stiff and uncomfortable with the sudden display of affection. She rubbed his back once and stepped back. "One of these day's Nick, you are going to actually hug me back."

"Yes," he said thoughtfully as he walked to the truck and opened it to let her in.

* * *

><p><strong>As always thankyou to the lovely gottriplets for name checking the chapter, and all the lovely people who have reviewed.<strong>

**I'm sorry I don't always reply to reviews, my internets really slow and so it takes forever to try and reply, but I do reply when you ask me questions.**

**Next chapter: When Jeff asks Nick out on a date Wes feels it as his duty to take over the fatherly role and introduces Jeff to his many guns, and the boys finally share a kiss without being caught for once :D! **


	12. First Date

Nick found himself standing in the great bay windows at the far end of the library, hands knotted at the small of his back staring out at the white covered world. His eyes travelled over the trees, and up to the horizon. The school commanded an impressive view of Westerville; it sat up on a small hill above the small town and so sat slightly apart from it.

He had choices to make, and in a moment of clarity like that, he knew he had to make them. He couldn't just drift, he was suddenly in charge of his own life for the first time and that meant the only one who made the choices was him. It was as much thrilling as it was terrifying.

He knew he wanted University, which was a road he had been guided towards much of his life. His father had been grooming him for an eventual career in the military, but that was his dream not Nick's. Nick felt he owed his father nothing at that moment, and with good reason.

He knew he didn't want to stay in Ohio; there was NYWT University that he had always wanted to attend. Go there and... and what? Be another carbon copy Ikea boy, mass-produced for living in American society?

He could choose a school in England; his Grandmother would be ecstatic about that. Her little boy coming home. But then he would have to work harder to get there, the entrance requirements for foreign students; even ones that were citizens would be higher than a school in America

There was always college, not much of an option for him. He was an academic and he knew books. As much as he missed playing cricket, he just couldn't make a living in Ohio knowing how to play a sport everyone dismissed as a joke. Even if he did go back to England, he was so far out of practice...

He was actually angry with his father. He had made such a monumental decision to uproot his entire family to start again in Ohio. He had dragged Nick away from his friends, his family; even his dreams just to abandon him in this place. He had been cast away like a piece of rubbish just because gay men had no place in the Major's army.

He looked at his friends, and the parents they had. Sapphire had a doting mom who seemed to look after everyone. David had stable parents that encouraged him; hell they even allowed him to throw parties when they were away.

Even Wes had parents that cared. Although he seemed distant from them, he still maintained a connection to them. Nick supposed it had something to do with when Wes's Grandmother had become ill. He had moved in to care for her, no small commitment for someone so young. Watching someone he cared for slowly loosing a battle to cancer had hardened Wes to the point that when she had passed away he had stayed in that house.

Parents were an important part of a teenager's life, that love and guidance that sent them down the path that would eventually lead them to their own lives. But that had all changed, in a single heart beat. One single kiss in the snow and everything had changed. But he wasn't complaining, he couldn't miss what he had never had.

If anything, he felt he should thank his father. The lessons he had learned were how to survive, the endless repetition of discipline till it was as much a part of him as the air he breathed. The only difference was now he was master of his own ship, that now he had to steer his own course and see where it took him.

University it would be, but he would enter the courses he wanted to enter. He would study the history he loved and maybe one day he would bury himself in some dark and musty library somewhere, happily deciphering languages that no one had spoken in millennia. Or maybe he would go on to Journalism school and see where his writing would take him. The choice really was his alone.

He felt rather than heard Jeff's approach, and he inclined his head slightly to confirm it. There was that all too familiar flush of warmth he felt whenever Jeff was near him and he turned with a full smile on his face.

"What are you staring at?" Jeff asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets staring out of the windows at the white world beyond.

"Just thinking," Nick confessed, "About the future."

Jeff nodded, "That's cool," he cast a look back over his shoulder and seeing no one watching him he casually bounced against Nick. A playful gesture that was perfectly safe, and wasn't going to earn Nick any more lectures from Mister Greenwood.

Jeff stopped bouncing a moment and leaned in closer to Nick, "I want to take you out tonight, on a date."

Nick nodded it was a Friday night. Hard for him to believe only a week had gone by since he had been at David's party. The last few days since Greenwood had caught them had passed in almost a blur. Jeff had made every effort to find Nick at the end of each lunch hour, and again after class they would walk out to Jeff's car together. Fleeting moments, but it was all they could afford.

"Is that a yes?" Jeff asked bouncing again. He was nervous, Nick could never get that. Jeff always seemed so outwardly calm about everything, and yet a simple thing like asking him could make him sweat.

At least Nick wasn't the only one intimidated by the prospect of going out on a date. But there was an almost earnest way about Jeff asking, like he was hoping Nick would say yes even though he was uncertain about the whole gay thing.

"Yes," Nick replied with a shy smile, his cheeks flushing again.

"Good," Jeff said relaxing noticeably, "I'll pick you up at seven thirty," he stopped, "Oh and dress up, I want this to be perfect."

Nick glanced at him, "Perfect huh?"

Jeff grinned walked away, a spring in every other step. From Nick's perspective it was like the Captain of the Storm hockey team was skipping. He shook his head in amusement, what had he just agreed to? What was he going to wear?

* * *

><p>Nick deftly tied the tie, over through, under over, up through, down through; it was a long practiced seamless motion. He pulled the borrowed silk tie tight against the crisp black shirt, pleased with himself. Not many people he knew could tie ties, and when he did it, it just felt so effortless. It was a way to build confidence and he took it gladly.<p>

He slipped on the dark green cashmere jacket, another loan, but it felt good on him. Dark green gave a hint of colour to his otherwise black-on-black outfit. He looked so much older, and for a second as he ran his hands down the lapels of the jacket, he was reminded of his father. There was something about his eyes, the way that they stared back at him from the mirror over the sink; a haunting there that reflected age.

He squared his shoulders: a hardened warrior, an English gentleman. He was after all his father's son, and as much as the man had been a hard man to love, he had taught Nick how to behave. There were social graces that could never be forgotten, drilled into him over long years of lecturing. His shoes shone with the military sheen only spit and polish could attain. His trousers were pressed with a fine pleat that was nearly perfectly straight. His shirt was ironed, tie tied and hair combed. He felt ready.

He shot his cuffs, a reflexive gesture he barely noticed, adjusting them as he turned and marched out of the bathroom and back down the stairs. A dark countenance of confidence playing across his face, as he felt serious about the night ahead. It was his first date and he should feel scared; instead he felt in control.

Sapphire's jaw hit the floor.

Wes's eyebrows shot upwards, the cup of tea in his hands forgotten as he stared.

They both stood there gaping at him as he half-walked, half-marched into the kitchen. He looked confused for a moment, a flash of sudden nervousness scampered across his face before it vanished behind the mask of self-confidence.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Wes and Sapphire looked at each other and turned back to him, "Nothing," they said in unison.

He smiled as he rested a shoulder on the doorframe, hands tucked into pockets and ankles crossed. "Do I pass inspection?"

"You look fantastic," Sapphire said as she stepped closer to him and brushed a stray piece of lint from his shoulder, "I mean that, you look great in a suit."

He didn't blush; he felt that he should have been embarrassed but he was surprisingly calm. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"And where do you think you're going young man?" Wes had adopted a look best suited to a nineteen-fifties sitcom father. Add to it a pipe and a knitted cardigan and he could have passed for Spencer Tracy giving his daughter Liz Taylor the same speech in the original Father of the Bride.

Nick looked startled, "I'm going out."

"Is this a date?" Wes asked using the mug of tea to gesture with and accent his question.

Nick looked over at Sapphire who was trying not to laugh; he affixed a grin to his own face as he nodded, "Yes."

Wes gestured again, "Is this boy picking you up here?"

Nick nodded again breaking into laughter; Wes was hamming it up and loving every minute of it. "And when do I get to meet and talk to this young man?"

Nick's eyebrows shot upwards into two neatly formed arches and as if on cue there was the sound of a car pulling up into the driveway. He looked over at Sapphire again, wondering if Wes was actually serious.

As the doorbell rang, Wes gave Nick a challenging look, as if daring him to stop him. Nick swallowed, realizing he would never make it to the door in time to stop Wes from answering it. Sapphire, who was looking equally as distressed, gave him a timidly hopeful look.

Wes flung open the door, his shoulders setting as he greeted a surprised Jeff. "Come in, come in," he said guiding the young man inside, throwing a mischievous wink at Nick as he guided Jeff through into the living room.

Nick and Sapphire followed, almost afraid for the young man who was now squarely in the clutches of an insane Chinese man.

"Let's see," Wes said, stopping in the middle of the living room and motioning with his cup to a vacant seat, indicating Jeff should sit, "What are your intentions for my little Nicky?"

Jeff looked bemused, as he leaned around Wes to wave and smile at Nick, before trying to become serious and nod at Wes. "I will be a perfect Gentleman, Mister..." he leaned around Wes again and gave Nick a questioning look. Nick mouthed the name and Jeff repeated it, "Mister Montgomery."

"That's fortunate," Wes said, exaggerating his gestures as he crossed to a heavy cabinet he always kept locked. He fished in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, moments later he had it open. "Let me show you my gun collection."

Nick felt Sapphires hand suddenly grip his; she was trying so hard to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"That's an impressive collection." Jeff said with a smile and a nod, trying to convey a serious look of being impressed.

Wes reached in and patted a particularly heavy-looking one he used for hunting in the winter, "I call this one Monica, she hasn't gone out in a while so I think she's a bit lonely," he turned back to Jeff, "So I take it you're paying for this evening?"

Jeff nodded, he was valiantly losing his battle not to laugh, and he kept sliding sidelong looks over at Nick. "Yes I am paying for this evening."

"I'm glad we are of the same understanding." Wes said, closing and locking the cabinet.

Nick stepped into the living room and shook his head in wonder at Wes. "You're nuts," he summed up simply and beamed at Jeff, "Guess that means I'm ready."

Jeff looked up and took Wes's hand in a firm handshake, "Nice to finally meet you..."

As they walked to the door Wes turned, "Oh and Jeff," he waited for Jeff to stop, "I trust your car is working properly this time, because I'll be waiting up." He shook himself off as if shaking off the dad persona, "probably up doing something illegal but that doesn't mean anything."

* * *

><p>Once outside Nick turned to Jeff. The senior was dressed in a sharp looking black suit with a striking blue tie. It fit him perfectly, the tie accenting his brown eyes, a hint of colour that made him look so handsome. Nick swallowed, there was no denying it, standing there staring at Jeff; he was captivated.<p>

He had a sense of presence about him, a dynamic energy that was just contagious. He was cute in the way that made the girls at school chase after him. The athletic definition to his body and the casual way he held himself was in stark contrast to Nick. The previous confidence in the kitchen was sent spinning away, as he felt the wave of nervousness sweeping into him.

Jeff returned the look, standing just a few feet away. He looked at the perfect model of a young English man. Nick was handsome in the kind of way that Rupert Everett or Hugh Grant was. It was an awkward English manner that was prim and proper, cultured in a way no one else he knew was. Standing polishing his glasses, Nick looked classically intelligent and Jeff felt self-conscious.

He was about to go on a date with a young man who was as intelligent as he was handsome. He had never tried to work out exactly why he was there, opening the door for Nick, about to take him on a date; but as he closed it and walked around to get in behind the driver's seat, he couldn't help but think about it.

Nick was one of those young men destined to do something with himself. Under that scruffy kid had been a clean-cut, brightly intelligent young man. Had it really taken an act of some divine being to push them together? He started the car quietly, and began to back out of the driveway.

Nick had aroused his curiosity before that chance encounter, before their closeness. There had been something there, beneath everything that Jeff was able to see. And there it was, sitting in the seat beside him staring back at him quizzically.

Jeff gave Nick a confident smile, and was rewarded with a wave of sunshine. It was just like that: Jeff's smile grew even wider leaving him feeling like a complete dork, Nick smiled and clouds parted. He had this overwhelming urge to shuffle his feet again, but grinned it off as he drove towards the city.

"How was your game the other night?" Nick was asking, and Jeff snapped back to the present.

"Great, we won it cleanly," Jeff responded settling into the drive. He had carefully chosen Sting's greatest hits from his mother's music collection, normally not his music but he hoped it would make Nick feel more comfortable.

"Never any doubt," Nick said as gently tapped his hand along to the music. Jeff flushed with relief; Nick had noticed, "So where are we going?"

Jeff chuckled, "You'll see," he replied mysteriously. He liked the way Nick's eyes clouded over as he tried to think of a way to get more information out of Jeff. It was that constant need to understand everything that made him so charming. It was as if he could never quite settle for the world the way it was; he had to understand everything about it. To Jeff, so used to sitting back and letting the world flow around him, it was a refreshing change of perspective.

Then he felt Nick's hand close over his own on the gearshift, a timid gesture that was so out of character for him. Jeff looked down at the slender hand gently encasing his own, enjoying the sensation of skin making contact with his own.

"Thanks," Nick said after a moment of quiet broken only by Sting singing. There was hesitation in his voice betraying that he was still nervous even though Jeff felt he shouldn't be. He wanted nothing more than for Nick to be completely relaxed around him. He lifted his hand off of the stick shift and grasped Nick's tightly for a moment.

"Any time." He replied with complete sincerity.

* * *

><p>The restaurant had been a new experience for Nick; he had never experienced Italian food before except from the odd pizza every now and again. He had asked for a plate of food and hadn't been expecting the mountain of food he received. Jeff had only smiled when the waiter set the plate down in front of Nick, digging joyfully into a large bowl of pasta.<p>

He was sipping a cup of well-brewed coffee, a powerfully noxious brew that would keep him awake for the rest of the year, when he noticed Jeff's eyes seem to draw a little heavy and become unfocused.

"What's wrong?" he asked, secretly worried Jeff was having second thoughts.

"Am I taking advantage of you?" he asked, that strange look on his face becoming one of concern.

Nick shook his head, "I don't think so," he said with a reassuring smile.

Jeff affixed his chocolate brown eyes on him, "Are you sure? I mean are you doing all this because you want to, or because I want you to?"

Nick seemed to understand the question; "You're worried I am doing all this to make you happy."

Jeff nodded in concern.

Nick shook his head, "Does it make you happy?" he asked, sipping his coffee again.

Jeff nodded without hesitation, those brown eyes never leaving Nick's, "Yes."

Nick shrugged, "Then yes I am doing it to make you happy."

Jeff's eyes widened a second and Nick broke into a winning smile, "Now ask me if you make me happy."

Jeff's eyes took on a questioning look as Nick continued, "You make me feel special, for the first time in my life." He meant it, and needed to convey that to the man who had changed his life, "You touch me and I am safe for the first time in my life. Now ask me what I am willing to do just to make you happy." he trailed off, looking at Jeff in earnest.

Jeff just sat there watching him quietly. Before he picked up his teacup, "I make you happy?"

"Aren't I supposed to be the one with all the doubts?" Nick asked with a grin, "I love you..."

The waiter who had just approached their table looked embarrassed at walking into the middle of such a private moment and continued walking trying not to intrude. Nick looked up at him and blushed.

Jeff reached across the table and gently brushed Nick's hand, "I love you, too."

* * *

><p>He'd actually said it. Without being asked, without Jeff having to say it first. For Jeff it was an intoxicating high. They had left the restaurant and had made their way to the Canal, a beautiful feature that offered a relative solitary walk away from traffic and too many other people. It was as close to idyllic as you could get in the heart of a major city.<p>

Nick was walking alongside him, shyly at first. They were truly alone for what felt like the first time since the car. Jeff felt a wave of excited energy as he stepped up onto a park bench and from there up to the narrow wall that ran adjacent to the small path. He balanced as he walked along the slippery snow-covered wall, Nick looking up at him with puzzled amusement.

"I used to do this when I was little." Jeff explained as he extended his arms a little to keep his balance.

He tried to imagine what Nick must have looked like as a little boy, small and thin with a shock of brown hair that never seemed to want to stay in one place, glasses perched on the end of his gently curved nose and clutching books as he ran home. Some how it was hard to imagine. Nick was just one of those people you never pictured as being really young; even at sixteen he acted mature for his age.

In a flash, Jeff suddenly loathed the Major for squashing any hope this vibrant young man had for a childhood. He had killed the little boy inside Nick as he had any enemy. He hadn't raised a child; he had raised a little soldier. There was a strength and determination about Nick, but there was an inflexibility about him as well. He had spent so much of his life learning to be what he was that he seemed to have lost a part of who he was.

He could tell because when Nick laughed it was so controlled and tight. And to Jeff it only heightened the eternal sadness that lay beneath its veneer. Peel back too much and he could touch the pain that was still very raw. That worried him, like an oak tree; if he refused to bend he would break.

Jeff hopped down from the wall and suddenly threw his arm around Nick's shoulders, and he felt the younger man stiffen at first, and then relax. Drawing himself closer, Nick let his head come to a rest against Jeff's shoulder.

They walked like that for a few more step, until Jeff pulled Nick around into a tight embrace; reaching up a hand to brush back a rebellious strand of Nick's hair he smiled at the young Englishman. It wasn't a passionate embrace, but as he held onto Nick it was as if he wanted to convey how he felt. His emotions were so mixed up, but as Nick smiled again, doubt and regret receded.

He had known that night on the rink, they had both known. But how did you admit something like that? It was only when faced with the prospect of losing that connection he had only just come to realize belonged to them both, that he had admitted how he felt.

He had known what he wanted was to have this boy in his arms forever. Scruffy Brit or the young Englishman it didn't matter. He must have been staring too intently, because Nick blushed and tried to look away, but Jeff reached out a hand to guide Nick's chin back up to look at him.

He leaned in and rested his forehead against Nick's, his eyes staring deeply into Jeff's, searching for something he couldn't define. He could hear Nick's breathing, felt those delicate hands encircling his waist, those hazel eyes glittering in the night as they watched him.

Jeff moved down, his lips coming into contact with Nick's as they kissed tenderly. He felt the world spinning around him as he kissed him. They stood on the edge of the canal, a quiet spot away from the main bustle of the city, sharing a moment of intimacy together for the first time, alone without fear of discovery.

The kiss grew in urgency as they pulled together, Jeff's hand cradling Nick's neck as he felt Nick's hands drifting up his back. There was so much pent-up emotion, so much that they had both held back. All concern about who there were and who they would be afterwards melted under the intensity of that need. Jeff swam in the rising swell of emotions; he had never felt such a powerful intensity before. He needed Nick, he had to hold him, kiss him.

Nick broke the kiss first, stepping back a few ragged steps, his shirt half un-tucked, wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand. His hair was in disarray and he had an almost wild look in his eyes as he struggled with his own demons. Jeff stayed still, feeling the floor sinking away from him, was that it? Had Nick made his decision, had he realized he couldn't handle the intensity of the emotions? A million doubts came crashing down upon his shoulders.

Nick took two steps forward, reaching up to touch Jeff's face holding it for just a second before he leaned in and kissed it passionately. Inhibitions and the million doubts were suddenly routed by the awesome force of that single emotion this strange young man inspired within Jeff.

They broke the second kiss, both panting for air as Jeff ran a soft hand over Nick's face, "I love you..." he said with a sudden desperation.

Nick smiled, "I know." he replied not trusting himself to say anything else.

* * *

><p><strong>91 reviews, wow.. thankyou all so much when I first posted this story I honestly thought I'd only get about 30 so really, thankyou. It means so much to know that people have actually taken an interest in this story.<strong>

**A big big thankyou to gottriplets for name-checking as always. Just want to get one thing straight, she's not my beta, she just makes sure I've used all the right names for the characters because I have a common tendency to muck them up so that means that there will still be the occasional spelling and grammar mistakes.**

**Curious to know something, **

**Basically, me and my bestfriend were just walking around as we do and we walked past a gay couple holding hands. I was like "aww" and she was like "it's not 'aww' it's cringy" and i told her I think gay couples are just generally cute. Blah blah blah.. And then she told me "I only think they are cute on tv".**

**So I want to know what people think, like if you agree with her or not, I don't know why but i'm just curious as to what goes on in peoples minds.**

**My bestfriend isn't as cruel and bitchy as I made her sound, she's just ish-close minded if that makes sense?**


	13. Vulnerable

The mad Valentines day countdown was in full swing. It seemed everyone was talking about dream fantasies, secret crushes and what their plans were for the holidays, a myriad of things that Nick felt detached from.

Everyone else would parade around proclaiming undying love to someone who they hoped could possibly be there soulmate. Nick and Jeff couldn't do that. They couldn't walk hand in hand down the corridor like nothing in the world mattered. They couldn't share a short kiss before heading to class. Nick was denied all of that and all it brought him was a bitterness toward the sickeningly cute couples; the people who had everything that he didn't. But it was all for Jeff, the blond he wasn't able to help but fall in love with. Jeff wasn't ready for the name-calling or the not-so-quiet whispers.

It all seemed suddenly pointless to him as he sat in Mister Taylor's math class watching the man try to explain quadratic equations for the hundredth time. It just would not sink in, no matter what way Nick looked at the damn problem his mind wandered away from it. He kept drifting back to the sudden burst of passion on the banks of the canal, and the heat on his cheeks threatened to give him away. He shifted in his chair and tried to get back to work.

Sapphire, sitting in the next row over from him smirked into her textbook. She was just itching to find out what had happened on the date but so far he had managed to elude her not-so-subtle attempt to pry information out of him with a crowbar. When David had joined them as usual for breakfast, Nick had been spared.

"Mister Duval, are you paying attention?" Mister Taylor asked from across the room, "because you have an exam at the end of this week."

Nick winced; he hadn't forgotten about the exam, it was going to sink him neatly. He wasn't ready for it, and the results of the mess of tests over the last few months showed a decided decline in his mathematical ability. Mister Taylor assumed it was because Nick wasn't paying attention, but for Nick the equations made little to no sense.

Taylor was one of those bitter, balding math teachers who seemed to resent anyone questioning his assessment of the facts. He was relentlessly insistent that there was only one-way to look at the world: that it all boiled down to a series of equations. To Nick that was abhorrent. He was not a series of calculations on a black board he was a human being. He wasn't another statistic was he?

Nick let out a silent chuckle. Pretty much all of Nicks future depended on getting a decent grade in a subject that seemed like a foreign language. No scrap that; A foreign language would probably be at least seven times easier then math.

"Duval, would you care to share what you find so funny about a quadratic equations?" Mister Taylor was growing annoyed with him.

Nick grinned at him, "I was just contemplating how useful these equations will be in my future endeavours." Well, it was half the truth to what he'd actually been thinking about.

"Really Duval?" Taylor seemed cautiously impressed, "you see a practical application of this formula? Would you care to share it?"

Nick nodded trying desperately not to look like he was simply making stuff up off the top of his head. "Well sir, a practical application would be any type of engineering requiring a variable factor to be applied..."

"I see your point Duval, you may sit down."

Nick crumpled into his seat as Sapphire leaned over to him, "You're so full of it." she whispered.

Nick grinned and shrugged, "Quick thinking, came from being raised by a military dictator."

* * *

><p>Once they were released from class Sapphire was already up with him, juggling her books to keep up with his rapid pace. She knew he was holding out on her, and she was determined to get all the juicy details she could.<p>

"So?" she pressed a bit too loudly as a couple of students cast aggravated stares back at her which softened when they realized it was one of the popular girls. Sapphire was now a full time member of Quinn's inner circle. A diamond surrounded by rhinestones in Nick's opinion, though he never vocalized that thought.

Nick stopped and looked at her, reaching out to embrace her warmly. That shocked her; Nick had never voluntarily hugged her before. He went out of his way to avoid physical contact. Her mother, the first one to notice this odd behaviour, had reasoned to her that Nick was just unused to physical affection. To have him suddenly squeezing her was a surprise.

He stepped back and shrugged, brushing off the creases in his smart blue short-sleeved shirt, as he turned to continue his way to the cafeteria. She stood there dumbfounded a second, then realizing exactly what he had done, jogged after him.

"That was so unfair!" she said accusingly, "You thought that if you hugged me I'd forget all about your.-" she caught herself before she yelled out "date" across a busy school corridor.

Nick sighed, "It was a good plan too," he stuck his hands into his pockets, a gesture Sapphire recognized as one of Jeff's trademarks, and she smiled.

"Did it go well?" She whispered.

Nick gave up trying to avoid it, "Okay, let me get my lunch and I'll tell you all about it."

"Yes!" she said enthusiastically, perhaps too much so for Nick's liking, as she scampered off, no doubt to get her own lunch. Nick watched her go, wondering why his life was so interesting. There really wasn't that much to tell about the date.

He walked back across the cafeteria and got into the line, picking up a tray and rubbing a tired hand over his face. He lowered the hand when he realized someone was staring at him in front of him. He looked up at her.

Daisy was looking at him with a look of unrepentant hate. He hadn't realized it was her until it was too late, and she must have thought he had slipped in behind her deliberately. She turned her head, causing her tightly-braided blonde hair to whip around as she turned her back on him, her body language stiffening as she kept her back to him.

He felt his own anger rising. Here was the girl who had turned his entire life upside down. The stares and whispers he still got in the halls was her doing. The hostility that Dave Karofsky and some of the other Condor's showed him on a daily basis because of her, yet she had the audacity to treat him like that?

He stopped cold, realizing that Jeff was standing off to the side of the cafeteria having a conversation with some of his friends looking relaxed, confidently in control. He looked up and flashed Nick a smile that was warm and expectant. All in a few seconds he decided Daisy and her obnoxious actions weren't all that important. He flushed and turned back to the line.

Daisy was watching him as she collected her plate of food, her eyes narrowing again as she looked up towards where Jeff was standing, but there was no recognition in her eyes. Blessedly Nick was spared any more of her cold looks, as it was his turn to select from the limited school menu.

He ordered a rather unappetizing-looking salad, and made his way across to one of the tables that sat beneath the tall windows that looked over the woods behind the school. It looked so cold and desolate, but he liked the view and it gave him a chance to think.

The tray flew first, the plate shattering as it hit the edge of a table, and moments later he crashed to the floor hard enough to see stars.

Jeff had turned just in time to see Nick passing a group of his Storm team mates sitting around their own table. He seemed completely oblivious to them, easy prey. Karofsky was never one to pass up a chance to humiliate anyone he disliked; his foot had caught Nick's legs sending the young man flying.

Jeff crossed the floor in a flash, already down beside Nick checking to make sure he was all right. Karofsky was still laughing, his 'boys' around him laughing as well. A quick check showed him that Nick was ok, just a bit disorientated, and he was on his feet again.

"Do that to him again." Jeff frown his voice was laced with menace.

Karofsky stopped laughing and stared at the team captain in shock. His jaw working emptily as he frowned in concern. He wasn't apologetic about what he had done, but sorry that he had upset Jeff. That was how a team worked, especially in that school. "It was only a joke man."

David was down now, checking on Nick, helping him to his feet. Nick still seemed to have no idea what had happened, and was trying to brush a large stain of Caesar salad dressing off of his shirt.

"I don't care," Jeff said, his eyes showed a deathly glare, an edge about him that said he would drop Karofsky if he so much as questioned that determination again.

Karofsky muttered under his breath as he pushed past Jeff, his other players hesitating as if torn between following him or staying, but Jeff flashed them a disgusted look and they scattered.

"Well at least I know I bounce." Nick said as he shook his head to clear it.

Jeff stared at him in concern, "You hit your head pretty hard, are you sure you're ok?"

Nick snorted, "My dad used to-" he stopped as he realized what he was saying and he fell awkwardly silent. David and Jeff exchanged confused looks. Nick shrugged, "I've had worse," he summarized, "I'll be fine."

Sapphire joined them, she was wielding a couple of mugs of coffee liberated from the deserted teachers lounge, but she looked suddenly concerned at Nick's new war wound. "Is he ok?" she demanded.

"I'm fine," Nick said as he collapsed into the chair he had been heading for, surrounded by what had once been his salad. He held up a wilted leaf of romaine lettuce that had landed on the tabletop and he shook his head.

"Dave Karofsky tripped him." David said as he pushed his hat back from his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "I'm gonna kill the bastard."

Jeff's arms were folded as he spoke, "I'll deal with Karofsky, you guys just take care of Nick." And he turned to set off after Dave.

People ducked out of his way; it was as if they knew he was angry and tried to give him as much space as they could. He rarely got angry, there was no point, and he could let most things slide and just move on. But there were limits to that, and hurting Nick was one of them.

Nick shook his head to clear the ringing sound in his ears. It wasn't so much ringing as a loud buzzing. It would pass; he knew it wasn't anything serious. He'd had worse and survived it just fine. He sipped the coffee gratefully.

"I'm gonna go after Jeff, make sure he don't stir up to much shit" David said, looking to Sapphire for confirmation before he ran off after the furious team captain.

Once they were alone Sapphire gave him a serious look, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine" Nick reassured her, giving her one of his patented 'don't worry' smiles.

She wasn't buying it, she pulled up a chair and placed a hand on his knee, "I hope Jeff beats the cra-" she stopped realizing that Nick wasn't listening, he was staring in concern at the doors Jeff and David had rushed through. She sighed, "They'll be ok."

"Yeah," Nick said as he blew out a frustrated breath, "Just wish they didn't have to."

"Yeah," Sapphire agreed, "I thought we lived in a land of tolerance."

Nick chuckled "I didn't mean that, I was talking about the having-to-be-rescued thing." He scrubbed, "I'm not some damsel in distress that bold knights have to defend." he shook his head, "Fuck this is so messed up."

She gave him a look of sympathy, wrapping her hands around her coffee cup, and smelling the noxious brew that imitated the black gold. She sighed, "They're being guys, they do shit like this. You should see Wes go when someone upsets me."

Nick looked down at the stain on his new shirt and he scrubbed it again futilely, "That's my point, I'm not exactly a girl." He set his jaw resolutely; he was not going to be treated like an invalid or a woman. He had fought his own battles just fine up until that point. He had played cricket, sworn and fought other boys. His father had taught him how to fight, how to be punched and get back up again. He wasn't about to be turned into some china doll by the likes of Dave Karofsky.

"You've got that look in your eye," Sapphire warned, "I think you should just let the guys handle it." She winced at the look he shot her when she said it and she held up her hands in surrender, "I only meant..."

He slumped into his chair, "Yeah I know what you meant, and look, let's just change the subject."

"How was the date?" she asked excitedly, "Did you have fun?"

Nick shook his head, she was relentless, "Yeah, we went for Italian food, did a lot of talking and then we went for a walk along the canal and we kissed." Nick stared at the stubborn stain as he talked, wondering if he had time to run home and change.

"He kissed you, and?" Sapphire was leaning forward, a hungry look in her eyes dying for more information.

Nick blinked, "Why this sudden interest in my love life?"

She rolled her eyes, "What happened?"

Nick smiled, "He kissed me and then I kissed him. We decided to relax; we were both getting a bit...intense and neither of us, well you know: body wants one thing, brain wants something else."

"Yeah." She said leaning forward a bit more, "And?"

"And we walked back to the car and he drove me home." Nick shrugged, "It's not like I was going to strip down right there in the middle of downtown Ohio"

"Yeah," she said glumly falling back into her seat, "That might have been exciting."

He gave her a 'well you asked' kind of shrug, "Sorry I'm not more interesting."

"Oh it's okay, I forgave you for that months ago," she drained her mug of coffee, "You think Jeff will win?"

Nick sighed "I hope so, I don't want him to get hurt because of me. This whole thing is so messed up."

* * *

><p>Karofsky staggered back a few paces, blood trickling down from the corner of his mouth. He came up in a tight boxing stance, hands curled at the elbows close to his face. He looked fearful as Jeff loomed over him.<p>

Jeff in comparison relaxed his shoulders, hands hanging down at his sides as he waited for Karofsky to come at him again, "You want to try that swing again?" he asked, his voice sounding almost hopeful.

David jumped between them, the flats of his hands pushing the two of them back, "Come on guys, you don't need to do this."

Jeff took a step back, brushing his hair back out of his eyes, "Touch Duval again, and I won't wait for you to take a swing at me before I drop you."

Karofsky lowered his arms and wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth, "Why the hell are you protecting him Sterling? What's he to you?"

Jeff hesitated a moment and shrugged, "He's a very good friend of mine, and like David here, I protect my friends."

"What's going on here?" Coach Beiste burst into the hallway, pushing her way through the ring of people trying to get to the fight. Kids scattered, leaving just the three teammates standing there staring each other down.

Karofsky stood upright and shook his head, "Nothing Coach, everything's cool."

Coach Beiste eyed him suspiciously as he turned to Jeff, "That true Sterling?"

"Yes Coach," Jeff answered, "everything's been sorted out."

The Coach gave them a look that said she knew better, but she couldn't argue as she had seen nothing. She snorted angrily and turned to leave, calling back over his shoulder, "Make sure whatever this is, it's sorted out before the next game." And with that she was gone.

Jeff gave Karofsky one final cold stare before he stalked off, David in tow, heading for the gym. He needed to blow off some steam and there would be a basketball scrimmage going on.

Karofsky watched him leave, rubbing his jaw, a weighing look in his eyes as he stared at the Storm Captain's back, "Alright so that's the way we play..." he murmured bringing this eyebrows down into a fierce frown.

* * *

><p><strong>Thankyou to the amazing gottriplets for name checking as always :D<strong>

**Sorry I forgot to put the "Next chapter: blah blah.." thing in the last chapter, completely slipped my mind. But thankyou for answering my question, it's nice to know how open-minded you all are I received nothing but positive comments from it!**

**Next chapter: More about the relationship between Jeff and his mother, Jeff meets Major Duval (not angsty). Nick finally realizes that he's free from the grip of his father. (Chapter 14 should be up tomorrow as it's already written and name checked)**

**I was originally planning to make Jeff and Nick's fathers meeting more angsty but I figured after this chapter I should tone it down so sorry to those of you who like angst.**

**Question from Anon: How many people actually know about Nick and Jeff's relationship?**

_**Sapphire, Wes and Mr Greenwood. Incase you were wondering, David knows that Nick is gay but doesn't know about Nick and Jeff.**_


	14. Church

Nick was out walking the streets. There was a large park in the centre of the small downtown area, little more than a patch of ground containing a swing set and a small war memorial. The courthouse, the town hall, a library and a church surrounded this park. It was, in Nick's mind, a beautiful, if desolate part of town at three a.m.

He had found an increasing need to be outside lately as it drew ever closer to Valentines day. He felt a heightened sense of solitude that kept him awake at night. Not that he had any rules about when he should be in bed anymore. He was responsible for himself now. If he wanted to wander the streets at an ungodly hour of the morning alone with his own thoughts then he was permitted to.

He was wrapped up in a heavy winter coat he had borrowed from the hall closet, his own were just not up to the task of dealing with the extreme temperatures. By all rights he should be huddled up warm in his bed, but he had to just walk.

They would all be breaking soon for the half-term holiday, school would relax its death grip on their lives and allow them a week of free time. Sapphire had already made it clear that Nick was expected at her house for the big day, and as flattered as he was that she had insisted, he really wanted to duck and hide.

He kept his hands squarely in the deep pockets of the coat, glad of its warmth as he soldiered on across the square of white that was the park, he was on the return trip after making a loop of the town and he was retracing his own footprints.

He barely noticed at first the car that trundled along the road parallel to him, black like most Government Issue cars were, and it had white numbering on the front fender. M-0234. When Nick finally noticed it, his heart went cold. Military.

He swallowed and tried to keep walking, his head turning to stare at the car now that was gently rolling along opposite to him. The driver was in no hurry, and why should he be? He was _exactly_ where he wanted to be.

Nick considered walking over to that car, but that thought was replaced by an irrational fear of what would happen. He stopped in the dead centre of the park, surrounded by a barrier of white snow on all sides; it was all that was between him and the road that ringed the park. In some ways he felt safe there, it made no sense, but just felt safe out in the open, standing in front of a courthouse.

The car drew to a halt just down on the main street, and the door opened allowing the broad-shouldered man to step out of it. He reached down into the car and pulled out his peaked cap, setting it on his head. It was as if he wanted Nick to know exactly who it was.

There had never been any doubt in Nick's mind. The military car instead of the Bronco, Nick's father was making a very clear point.

He thought about making a dash for it, if he could make one of the side streets maybe he would lose him. But that stuck in Nick's throat, he wasn't about to run from this man. He had been afraid of him his entire life.

He remembered when they had first come to Ohio; the Major had insisted that Nick was changing his clothes too often. Fresh shirts every day, and a clean pair of trousers, in Nick's mind no big deal, after all it was just being hygienic right? To his father it was excessive, and he had padlocked the wardrobe. Nick had been furious that day; his Father hadn't made any sense, but then the man seldom had.

_Defiantly Nick had walked to the wardrobe and unscrewed the handle, something the Major hadn't anticipated, and when the lock had fallen uselessly to the ground his father had been embarrassed at the futility of his gesture. That had only enraged him further._

_The argument had fired back and forth between them and kept escalating. Nick had been deliberately provoking his father, pushing him to the very edge, challenging his intelligence. When he had struck, Nick had barely noticed. He had been knocked from his feet, and he should have felt pain, but he was too far into the argument for that._

_The Major had been surprised the first time Nick had stood back up, not even missing a beat and continuing to verbally fight back. The second fist hadn't been as restrained, the force behind it hadn't been controlled, it had been meant to put Nick down permanently. When Nick stood for the second time he again hadn't stopped. A combination of shock and adrenaline had fuelled him past the point where he felt anything, and he had remembered the look of shock on the Major's face. It was the only fight he had ever won with the Major._

_Though I am wounded I am not slain, I'll lay me down to bleed awhile, then to rise and fight again..._

_The words of the ancient poem rang in his ears; he had discovered it by accident one day when he had been digging through a book. It had been sound advice. Everyone got knocked down; it was those that got back up who weren't beaten._

They were staring at each other, a wide expanse of white separating them. But the tension between the two of them could be felt. The history between two men who were as alike as they were different. Nick fought with words, the major with his fists. But the difference this time was, Nick no longer had to play by the Major's rules.

That realization washed over him like ice water. He didn't have to face that man; he didn't have to settle one last argument with him. There was no point, no need. The Major had ultimately won what he wanted, his new life bereft of the past, and Nick had won the freedom he had so craved growing up. Any more battles would serve no use; there was no point to them. The Major was a sad and bitter old man haunted by the past. He felt pity at that moment, and it must have shown on his face.

The Major read it like a slap to the face, realizing it for what it was, he slowly rested a hand on the door handle of his car, staring at Nick once more before he pulled the door open and stepped inside. When it roared away, Nick was once again alone standing in the dead of night.

* * *

><p>Morning rituals were always the same for Jeff. His mother had been up at the crack of dawn every day since his father had died. She sat alone at the dining room table wrapped in her pink robe, hands curled around a mug of coffee as she greeted the dawn. The carafe was always in front of her, and she drank it always black with no sweetness to it.<p>

He would always find her like that and it saddened him to see her alone each morning. She had borne the brunt of the loss hard. Once a vibrant and charming woman, she had become a different person. She was stronger in some ways; the formidable force of nature one of his aunts had described her as. But in others she had grown weaker.

There had been plenty of gossip at the church over what had happened to Mister Sterling. The accident had been work-related, and the conclusion had been 'death by misadventure' a generic term used when no one knew exactly what had happened. Like most things that could not be explained, it was a popular topic for the hens who gathered at the church.

Jeff knew that his mother hated the 'gossip-mongers' as she so eloquently put it. She wasn't about to be ground beneath the rumour mill; she had too much personality for that. Jeff often wondered at those women who viewed his mother as a shrew. If they could see the sad woman staring out of the patio windows at the fields behind their house, would they still dislike her?

"How are your exams going?" she asked, surprising him as he poured a bowl of cereal. She rarely got into a conversation with him this early.

"They're going well," he said joining her at the table and pouring milk into the bowl, "Last one is this morning."

She nodded at him absently, turning her head back to the sunrise. She was a beautiful woman, thin with natural blond hair that was almost white, cut short against her head that brought out her pair of big, beautiful brown eyes. Jeff had inherited her eyes, and his father's looks, a lucky combination.

"What's her name?" Micheline asked, offering a slight hint of a smile as she looked over the table at him. Jeff almost choked on his mouthful cornflakes. If only his mother knew that it wasn't a 'her' but infact a 'him'.

He was startled, and looked down at his bowl of cereal trying to regroup.

She saw that she had guessed correctly when she looked at his shy reaction. It was so unlike him, he was like his father in that as well. Strongly confident in everything. That, more than his looks, would get him far in his life. Lately there had been a warmth about him that she had recognized as well. Again, like his father, love showed on his face. The mystery girl, whoever she was, was very lucky to be loved like that.

"No one, Mom." Jeff said nervously as he hurried through his breakfast, looking for a viable escape before she questioned him further.

Micheline gauged his reaction to her question with the measure years of watching him grow up had afforded her. Her curiosity was definitely aroused now, but she wouldn't let it show, let him have his kisses in secret; let him enjoy himself - he needed it.

"I'm working at the Church dinner tonight," she said as he got up to drop his bowl in the sink, "I want you to be there to give me a hand."

Jeff nodded his head in assent as he began to pick up his books and stuff them in his backpack, "Sure thing, what time?"

She pursed her lips, "Come by there after school and I will put you to work setting up the tables." She watched as he pulled on his beloved jacket, remembering how proud her husband had been when Jeff had first earned the right to wear it.

"Okay, I'll be there." he said scooping up his keys and heading for the door.

"Jeff," she called out stopping him one foot out the door, "I love you."

He smiled at that as he left to go to school.

* * *

><p>The Catholic Church was one of those old buildings that had withstood the test of time. It had been standing upon the same foundation from the time Westerville had been nothing more than a small farming community. It was an old stone building; the original builders had felt they owed something more than wood to whatever deity watched over them and their crops. The stained glass windows had been a gift from an old church that had been torn down nearly fifty years ago in Ireland, a gift that had tied the town to its Irish roots.<p>

Jeff had parked the car and had ducked inside to find his mother. As usual she was in the church hall beneath the main church directing the small group of volunteers to set everything out for the mini-snack table.

He reported to his mother who directed him to assist in setting up the folding tables so that a couple of the other male volunteers could set out the chairs. Manual labour was for the boys to do, and his mother wasn't about to go easy on anyone.

It was good to see so many of the Church regulars about, Leanne and her husband Arthur were present, Leanne hard at work in the kitchen area baking up some fresh dinner rolls. Arthur was busy rigging small dainty lights. It reminded Jeff of Nick, he felt his cheeks getting warm again and he bent back to work.

He had caught Nick earlier in the day, on his way to his exam. They had exchanged shy smiles, but what worried Jeff had been Nick's tired eyes, like he hadn't been getting sleep lately. He reminded himself to say something the next time they were alone.

When the guests began to arrive, the volunteers had been given a break and Priest made his appearance. Like most aging Catholic priests, he had a round smile that suited him, and the kind of outwardly forceful personality that made an impression on his parishioners. He shook hands with everyone with whom he came into contact; a smile and a friendly wink and he was on to the next one. The good Father enjoyed being social and events like the dinner were his element.

Mister Greenwood put in an appearance; the New Age English teacher was a rare sight at Church functions, but his wife Katherine was a regular member of the congregation. She took a moment to hug Micheline, a silent show of solidarity and gratitude, leaving Jeff an awkward moment facing Greenwood.

Greenwood didn't hesitate, he gave Jeff that measuring look he affixed whenever he came face to face with the boy after the hallway incident, and shook his hand, "Good day Mister Sterling" He said in a robust kind of way, and moved on to exchange pleasantries with the priest.

The rustle of whispers in the room caused Jeff to look up, and to his shocked dismay, Nick's father and his new wife entered the hall. The Major was dressed in his uniform, the medals and brass seeming to shield the coward of a man that hid behind them. A British officer was supposed to be a model of gallantry, a gentleman in the darkest places of the world. The Major used it as a place to hide.

Jeff felt his resentment growing inside of him as the man marched past him to shake a firm hand with the priest.

The priest wasn't a naive man; he looked past the Major at his wife and the young girl she carried in her arms. He looked puzzled, "Your son couldn't join us this afternoon Major Duval?"

It was the first time Jeff had ever had a true respect for the priest. The pomp and bluster of the Major had been deflated in a single question. It was a spectacular gesture, and Jeff could see his mother affixing the Major with a look of disdain.

"I never liked that man," She murmured as she sat down beside Jeff, lifting a cup of herbal tea to her lips and blowing gently to cool it down.

"Yeah," Jeff said distantly, "he's a bastard." he realized he had just sworn in front of his mother and turned quickly to apologize.

She simply regarded him with a bemused smile, "Your dad thought the same thing when the Major first moved into town," she shook her head, "I feel sorry for the children."

Jeff sighed as he sat down at her table, "Nick, his son is a good guy."

Micheline nodded, "Well it looks like he has a good friend," She was remarkably astute, and Jeff felt a touch nervous on the subject.

"Yeah, well he needs one with a father like that."

She nodded and looked up at the Major who was lecturing over some political point to some parishioners who looked like they would rather be elsewhere. She let out a low sigh, "Well I think Nick needs a good friend this holiday, you should invite him to join us for a few days."

Jeff was surprised, and realized that his mother was doing it more out of honest concern than any ulterior motive. She was simply thinking about one lonely soul. He nodded, silently thanking her for her kindness. "I'll ask him."

She stood, setting her tea aside, "Good, now I need to start serving."

Jeff sat back in his chair wondering at his mother, and the one thing that made her so special in his mind, her unselfish caring for other people. She had a capacity to bring a room to life with her presence, and when she was there, there was no doubt who was in control.

"Jeffrey Sterling isn't it?" The Major's crisp accented voice startled him, and he stared up at the medalled chest to the craggy face of the man who had tormented Nick. There was the man that had put an innocent young man through hell on earth for no other reason than to ease his own bitterness. Jeff felt his anger rising as he stood slowly. Realizing he was taller than the Major made him bolder and he met the Major's eyes with a hard look.

"What do you want?" he demanded, his tone one of barely-controlled fury.

The Major frowned, taken aback by Jeff's sudden hostility, then his shoulders squared in a military fashion and his face became a cold mask. "I had wanted to say I have heard good things about you. The Legion is considering you for a scholarship this year." His voice was clipped and his words were spoken flawlessly; he was squarely confident in a position of power.

Jeff didn't flinch; he remained standing as he did, feet loosely apart, hands at his sides. The Major didn't miss the combat stance; his eyes flickered down to gauge it, before they returned to Jeff's eyes. There was a look of humour in them, an appreciation of a spirit ready to fight him if it had to.

"I just wanted to say hello to you and tell you that I will be watching you closely. Good luck, Mister Sterling" He accented the "Mister"; it was stressed the same way he would use it against his subordinates. He respected titles, and anyone without rank was beneath him. Ass quickly as he had materialized he had returned to his table and his wife.

Jeff seethed, looking over towards his mother who hadn't seen the exchange. Mister Greenwood sitting close to the Priest caught his eyes. The teacher was studying him, his fingers brushing his beard thoughtfully. As he noticed Jeff had seen him, he inclined his head and returned to his conversation.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the late update, my step-dad stole my laptop for the whole evening to play online poker so I couldn't get on -.-<strong>

**Thankyou to gottriplets for being an amazing person and name checking as always. **


	15. Absolution

Absolution is not something a person can easily attain; it isn't something that can be given freely. Absolution must be earned, in the heart as well as in the mind. For some men it is impossible to earn the kind of forgiveness needed to move forward in their lives. They remain trapped within a single mistake, and exist within it for the rest of their days.

Nicholas Duval, son of Major Duval, closed the book and stared out of the window at the gentle dusting of snow that fell. It seemed all it would do was snow for the remaining days until Valentines. He was again sitting in his customary spot in the library, a refuge from the rest of the school, putting the finishing touches on his english paper.

Completed and satisfied with it, he examined it, smiling at the emotion he had put into the paper. It had been a simple examination of a character in a dusty play, but Nick had seen something personal in it; finding a resonance in it had allowed him to write about it, and what had been a simple assignment had gotten more complex as he had just lost himself in it.

He struggled to his feet and straightened his simple white shirt. For the first time since he had been 'updated' as Sapphire was all to fond of referring to his complete wardrobe overhaul, he had worn simple whites. It was a silent tribute to his cricket days, cool and relaxed. Most hadn't noticed, except for Coach Beiste who remembered all too well Nick's affinity with the game.

He tucked the pen away and gave a kind smile to Miss Harriet, the older lady who kept a careful watch over her precious books. She had originally been suspicious of Nick's near constant presence in her domain, until she had found him wedged in a corner one day, knees tucked up to his chest, wrestling with a couple of reference books. She had given him the knowing smile of a kindred spirit and had left him be after that. Book mice were a strange breed.

Back out of the sanctity of the library and into the realm of the regular lunch time din, Nick felt a little self conscious that he hadn't spent his lunch with Sapphire, but she was off with Quinn and the Cherrios ogling basketball players in the gym.

Nick felt a little jealous of that; Jeff liked to spend time in the gym either playing or watching from the sidelines, a benevolent monarch ruling over his kingdom. But Nick didn't belong there. He had never followed Jeff to the gym, ever, it wasn't his place. Even though he knew Jeff would never have complained about it, Nick still felt awkward about being too close to Jeff at school.

It was the last day of the school before the blessed relief of the break. Nick was looking forward to not having to deal with the near constant looks he got from some of the students. What they didn't say to his face showed on theirs, and as he passed he often caught the word 'faggot' thrown at his back. He had never realized how much that word had stung, he had used it himself, even gone so far as to refer to himself in his own thoughts as one. But now that it was hurled at him directly, he shied from it. It stung worse than one of his father's punches. But no one dared use it when Nick was accompanied by one of his friends. Especially David and Wes, they were two guys whom no student wanted to anger, and Sapphire was too valuable to one's social career to upset.

Word had spread quickly of Jeff's scuffle with Dave Karofsky, and no one dared to touch him directly. Cold shoulders he could deal with, he could even deal with the harsh words, but the prospect of being protected irritated him still. But he understood why Jeff was doing it, after all he was...

Nick stopped and considered that a moment, what exactly was he now? Most people just wrote it off as Jeff's pet project, that thin academic kid that needed to be looked after. No one had associated the two of them as anything more than passing friends. Jeff's mother had even invited him to join them the day before Valentines, something he couldn't just pass up, after all, it was a chance to spend the day with Jeff.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Nick jumped; he had just been winding his way towards his locker, that quiet and disused corner of the school that he liked. He fumbled for a reply, "My locker."

Dave Karofsky was shorter than Nick, but was broader. He was perfectly built for his role as a defenseman and as he blocked Nick's path with two others from the Storm' defensive core, Nick had a sudden respect for any opposing player who had to face them.

Karofsky remained silent for a moment, studying Nick closely, and Nick looked at the three of them. He knew the looks they were giving him, he had seen it a hundred times in his father's eyes. He was in trouble.

He made to step by them, as the two other defenders, Amizo and Noah Puckerman, grabbed him by the arms.

"Just a minute Duval, you're not going anywhere." Karofsky's words were icy-cold and laced with dangerous intent.

"Let me go!" Nick struggled against the two older and more athletic young men. They responded by forcing him up against the row of lockers

"No one here to save you this time Duval," Karofsky smirked, balling his hand into a fist as his face twisted into a sneer. He pulled his hand back ready to swing a punch.

The crash caught them all by surprise, a fist impacting against a locker door rattling it on its hinges. All eyes turned towards the young man leaning against the bank of lockers opposite them. His arms were folded in a casual way, and he flicked cigarette ash irreverently onto the floor.

Wes!

"What do we have here?" he said, taking another long drag on his cigarette, "What, it takes three tough guys to beat up one queer?"

Karofsky swore rounding on the shop jock, "Fuck off; this doesn't concern you!"

Wes shrugged, "One-on-one, sure that doesn't concern me. Three-on-one, I call that a party." he lifted his cigarette, "And we all know how much I like a party." He took a long drag again, his eyes glittering darkly.

Karofsky curled his lip, "Let him go." He commanded, and his two accomplices released Nick.

Nick straightened up, a smile playing across his lips, Karofsky was going to...

The fist connected squarely with his temple, Nick felt it and staggered slightly but kept his footing. Surprised, Karofsky hauled off and punched him again, blinking as he continued to stand before him.

Years of the fists, years of the backhands, years of learning to take a blow, counted. The Major was easily twice Karofsky's size, and definitely stronger. If he couldn't keep Nick down, a high school bully sure couldn't. Nick's own fist knotted as he hit back, catching Karofsky unprepared for the first blow.

Karofsky reeled, as one of his cronies balled up his own fists to step in. Wes came fully upright, sending his cigarette spinning down the hall as he stepped forward. Puck lowered his hands and stepped back, letting the fight play out on even terms.

Nick struck again, but Karofsky's hands swept his wide swing away as he punched with his other fist into Nick's stomach trying to knock the wind out of Nick. It would have worked, should have worked. Nick felt the blow, swallowed against the pain as he swung again, the force of his own punch knocking Karofsky back a couple of steps.

Nick swallowed as he gasped for breath, taking a step forward to follow through, but Karofsky raised his hands, "Enough," he said, as he rested a hand against the lockers.

The Englishman straightened up, and nodded, letting Karofsky's two minions help him up and help him back towards the stairs.

* * *

><p>"You did what to who?" Sapphire's voice raised an octave or two in complete shock.<p>

Nick gingerly touched his bruised temple, he was beginning to ache, and his vision swam a little. He must have looked a sight, sitting in the cafeteria, back to the wall, battered and bruised. Sapphire was hovering over him in full mother hen mode once she had seen Wes help him to his seat.

Rumour was spreading quickly, the people who passed him looked at him with a mixture of respect and disbelief. Nick winced as he reapplied to his head the makeshift icepack made from ice wrapped in the coarse brown hand towels from the bathroom. He was getting a lot more attention than he felt he merited, and it unnerved him.

"Is it true?" Quinn swept up beside Sapphire clutching her binder to her chest, looking eagerly about for confirmation to the latest gossip, "Did you really beat Dave Karofsky up?"

Nick gave her a resigned shrug as he rubbed his bruised stomach. He felt like Karofsky had driven a truck over him and he simply wanted to curl up into a ball until the pain went away. But he wasn't going to get a chance, as more and more kids formed a semicircle behind Quinn and Sapphire, all trying to get a peek at him in this state. Like any mob, they smelled blood and blood was exciting.

Nick looked up at Sapphire pleading for her to make them go away, but even as popular as she had become, she was completely powerless over a group this large. She shrugged helplessly at him and knelt to move the ice pack upwards a bit.

There was a murmur from the crowd as they parted to allow a very agitated David through; behind him sauntering at a casual pace, despite the anxious look in his eyes, was Jeff. As David began to fire off questions a mile-a-minute at Nick, Jeff hung back beside Quinn, but he had a questioning look in his eyes that he directed towards Nick.

Nick looked down at David and lowered the ice pack, "It was nothing, honestly."

"Yeah, right," David said, pushing his raider's cap out of his eyes as he examined the nasty bruise on the side of Nick's face, "You don't look okay."

"You should have seen the other guy," Nick offered as a feeble joke.

"We did," Jeff said breaking his silence to a murmur of agreement from the ever-so-fickle mob who had only a few minutes before been sneering and talking behind his back. But then, when Jeff spoke they agreed with him. It was the sheer weight of his charisma that could sway them in ways no one else could.

He turned to them, "Alright, everyone back to their business; leave Duval alone." He gestured for them to leave, and as if by a royal decree they obeyed, filing from the cafeteria murmuring amongst themselves.

Quinn hung back, feeling that her newfound association with Sapphire gave her the right to stay; popularity had its benefits after all. Jeff flatly ignored her as usual, kneeling down on the other side of Nick from David and examining the injuries with open concern.

"You got into a fight with Dave Karofsky," he said evenly, aware that they weren't alone, but he allowed the worry to seep into his eyes.

Nick shrugged, "He really needed to get something off his chest?" Nick tried a feeble attempt at a joke.

"That son of a bitch," David shook his head, balling up his own fist in anger.

"It's sorted." Nick said firmly, he didn't want it to go any further; it had already gone too far.

David eyed him suspiciously as he looked over at Jeff. Jeff in turn returned the look and Nick leaned down, "I mean it, it's okay, it's sorted."

He stood; getting to his feet and feeling the dull ache in his stomach he rubbed it tenderly. He was going to feel that for a while. He picked up the crumpled paper he had been writing only half an hour before; it honestly felt like days before. Absolution came in many forms.

He waved off David's offer to help him with a friendly smile, "I'll be fine," he said taking a step and feeling a wave of nausea and dizziness sweep over him. He dropped the paper back down on the table as he leaned on it for support.

Jeff's arm encircled his waist, and that warm supporting grip helped him back to his feet. It was the closest they had been to each other in days and Nick felt Jeff's strength holding him upright and he leaned in a bit allowing himself the support.

David moved to follow but Sapphire caught his arm and motioned for him to join her over at the windows. Nick didn't pay them much mind as he let Jeff help him down to his locker.

Once they were alone down by Nick's locker Jeff turned Nick to face him, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked earnestly; without waiting for a reply he leaned in to examine the nasty bruise forming on Nick's temple.

"I'm fine," Nick said trying to push Jeff back a little, more from embarrassment over the sudden flurry of attention.

"I'll kick his ass if he touches you again," Jeff promised, his voice filled with determined sincerity as he reached out his other hand to encircle Nick's waist gently.

Nick shook his head again, what was it with everyone? He had successfully defended himself and it still didn't seem to matter. They still wanted to protect him, it was flattering and showed they cared. But Nick still felt like he could protect himself, he had after all stood up to Karofsky.

But one look into Jeff's concerned eyes and he melted. The love mixed with concern he saw reflected there couldn't be denied. Jeff was just trying to protect him from being hurt, just like Nick would do if anyone even thought to hurt Jeff. He couldn't hold that against the boy who loved him. No matter how much he wanted to be independent, he just had to accept the fact that Jeff would look out for him.

He offered a lightly reassuring smile, "It's okay, you don't have to do that. I'm fine." He reached out a finger to lift Jeff's chin until he could see his eyes, "Honestly."

The gasp caused both to stiffen up and turn at the same time. Nick's shoulders slumped in utter defeat as Quinn stood, almost in exactly the spot Greenwood had stood in a week before. She was clutching the english paper Nick had forgotten on the table, and she looked obviously startled at the two of them so intimate: Nick in Jeff's arms, his finger's lifting Jeff's chin slightly.

Jeff's eyes met hers in resignation, before she vanished like a startled rabbit up the stairs.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! <strong>

**About a week and a half ago I got drunk and my drunken state of mind decided jumping on a trampoline in heels was a great idea, needless to say I feel of and sprained my ankle, I finally got of the crutches 3days ago, and now here I am. Sort of serves me right for underage drinking...**

**Thankyou all for not pestering me about updating! And like always thankyou to gottriplets for simply being amazing :)**

**On the 'traffic stats', what's the difference between 'hits' and 'visitors'?**


	16. The game

Nick had wanted to say something, anything, but Jeff had flashed him an apologetic look before he raced after Quinn. Nick slumped against his locker; he had known it would happen, he had tried to protect Jeff from it, they had even had a warning in the form of Mister Greenwood surprising them. But they had still been reckless, begging for exactly that situation.

Nick glanced at his watch, there was still half an hour left to lunch and he knew it would be one of the longest half-hours of his life. He felt all the old tensions flooding back, despite his victory over Karofsky. It would be forgotten in light of this latest bulletin of gossip.

What should have been front-page news was now going to be buried as a much larger story broke. Quinn owed them nothing; she thrived on being the one in the know. And a bombshell like that would set her centre stage socially for the rest of the year. There would be no denying it, once she spread the news it would be taken as gospel despite all Jeffs protests and denials.

Nick sighed as he slammed his locker closed in frustration. It was all so utterly pointless, and were it not for the fact that Jeff was still there, he would have left. Gone home and hid for the duration of the holidays. But he couldn't just abandon Jeff to the rumour mill; he owed it to him to stand by him just as Jeff had stood by him.

* * *

><p>Nick emerged from the stairwell a few moments later, returning to where he had left David and Sapphire They were both still talking when they saw him approach. The look of concern was mirrored on their faces when they read his face. They both realized something was terribly wrong.<p>

"What is it?" Sapphire asked, dashing to his side and insisting in helping him into a seat. She was back to fussing over him again.

He stared at her blankly for a moment, "She saw us."

Sapphire gave him a strange look, not quite comprehending what he was saying, "Who saw you?"

"Quinn saw Jeff and I..." he stopped, realizing David was standing just behind Sapphire, he looked up apologetically.

David digested the information a moment, and Nick could see he was mulling over why someone seeing Jeff and Nick would be a cause for concern. It was like turning on a light bulb; as soon as he realized the implications, David's eyes almost jumped out of their sockets.

"I have to talk to her," Sapphire said, and before he could stop her she too was gone.

David looked awkwardly like he wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else at that moment. Nick felt a pang of sympathy for him, it was a lot to take in, to suddenly learn that his best friend and the guy he looked up to were... No, Nick corrected, that wasn't the look; it was the look that said. 'You both kept this from me, am I a total idiot?'

Nick had to say something, "David I..."

David wasn't listening; he took off his ball cap and ran a hand through his hair. "Man, I knew there was something going on, I just, oh man." he collapsed into the seat opposite Nick and gave him one of those 'dude!' looks.

Nick nodded, "Yeah..."

The news wasn't out yet, he was still getting a mixture of looks from people who passed through the cafeteria, and some seemed impressed he had managed to stand up for himself. Some of the younger kids were even giving him looks of awe, appreciation for what he had managed to do. Still there were others who looked at him with thinly veiled disdain, but there were no vicious words thrown at his back now. Not for the moment at least.

David was still shaking his head, wrestling with the news and Nick let him work through it. Glad to let his bruises rest, he sank into the chair and rubbed his tired eyes. He looked a right sight, but he wasn't about to let rumour do what Dave Karofsky's fists couldn't. He wasn't about to run away and give up.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you." Nick said with sincerity.

David shrugged, "You did, dude, I just wasn't listening." When Nick frowned he shrugged, "My dad is always saying there is more to a conversation than words. The clues were right there in front of me, but because it was Jeff I just ignored them." he sighed, "but it does explain why he is so protective over you."

"Yeah," Nick said dryly, "well it's out now, and pretty soon everyone's going to know."

David looked over at a couple of freshmen who were staring in awe at nick; he turned back, "Well, look on the bright side, you're a hero for the time being."

Nick stood up, "There's a saying, there is nothing as boring as yesterday's hero."

David patted his arm, "Yeah I'll remind you of that tomorrow," David grinned, "Doing anything for the holidays? My folks just sit around the house, but wanted to know if you were doing anything Wednesday." He nudged Nick. "I'll even let you bring Jeff."

Nick rolled his eyes before breaking out into a big grin. "I don't know, I might be busy. I mean with all these new fans I have."

David chuckled and punched him lightly in the arm, "I'll just take that as a yes. By the way, no getting ideas just 'cause you're a puck bunny."

Nick frowned "I am not!"

David leaned in with a grin, "You're dating a hockey player, dude, that makes you a puck bunny."

* * *

><p>It was nearing the end of the day. And for Jeff that would be the defining moment. He had been unable to catch Quinn, which had given her a full two periods in the early afternoon on the last day of school before the holidays. He tensed as the last few minutes of Greenwood's English class trickled away. He was not so much nervous as he was anxious. He hated to feel anxious, but as usual he covered it with a thick layer of self-confidence.<p>

There was a game that evening; they were being let off last period and the school was ferrying all the students down to the arena to watch the game. The last game of the year and everyone was supposed to be excited about it.

The bell rang and he stood, tucking his book under his arm as he stuck his hands into his pockets, exchanging a simple nod with Mister Greenwood as he left the auditorium and headed out to his car.

No one said anything to him, everything was quiet, and the big disaster he had expected hadn't happened yet. Anticipation was one thing, but when it proved anti-climatic.

He collected his equipment bag from the back of the car and walked through the doors into the lobby area of the arena. He could have avoided the game, feigned being sick, found a quiet place to hide and wait out the rest of the day. But that wouldn't be him. He couldn't simply let them beat him like that; show them that kind of fear and they would be all over him like rabid wolves on a wounded tiger.

This wounded tiger still had his claws.

He squared his shoulders and kept his eyes proud and high. Nick's words were ringing in his ears from that first night in the car, 'you're _the_ Jeffrey Sterling' and he wasn't about to let Nick down. He made a silent statement as he surveyed the lobby, the students who were already there, their lowered whispers and stares that were directed towards him. They were expecting him to cower; they were expecting him to run.

He arched an eyebrow as he sauntered past them heading for the changing rooms, nodding to surprised faces that couldn't quite believe his defiant attitude. What did they expect - an apology from him? Well he wasn't about to give them that satisfaction.

* * *

><p><em>Tyger! Tyger! burning bright<br>In the forests of the night,  
>What immortal hand or eye<br>Could frame thy fearful symmetry?_

The game was with another Valley team, an old rivalry that had turned into a yearly final game tradition. The Storm against the Hillcrest Hawks was going to be a tough game, they didn't need distractions. Of all the days for the news to break.

He set his jaw; as he walked into the locker room, David was there strapping on his pads and he gave his team captain a supportive smile. But it was the only one. There were looks from some of his teammates that were a mixture of disappointment, disbelief and one or two looked at him as if he had died. They were waiting for something, anything from him by way of an explanation.

The tension in his locker room was thick; Karofsky hadn't bothered to show, expected after his embarrassment that lunch hour. But the others were watching him, some trying to keep themselves covered with towels awkwardly. So much for no distractions.

He changed in silence, strapping on his skates, thinking about what he could say to them, what kind of explanation did he owe to his own teammates? He was their captain, they needed him, but more importantly they needed to believe in him.

He stood up and picked up his stick and rested on it looking at each of his men. Did he just tell them? Did he lie? What did he owe them?

David stood up and pounded his pads with his goalie stick, "I'm with you Skip!" he said in a forceful way, "let's get 'em."

There was a murmur of half-hearted agreement from the team, and they made their way out onto the ice. David hung back a moment to stare into Jeff's eyes, "we need you out there," he said as if reassuring himself that jeff would still be himself on the ice.

Jeff nodded and emerged onto the ice for the pre-game warm-up.

There was a thrill to being on the ice, he was there to do battle; this wasn't going to be a typical game for him, this was where he proved he was still the same player he had been before. He wasn't going to be defined by who he loved; Nick was an extension of him. He needed to prove himself all over again and the C on his chest suddenly felt very heavy.

* * *

><p>Nick was standing in the coffee shop area of the arena, wrapped up in a scarf and gloves holding onto a cup of coffee, drawing warmth through the thin styrofoam as he looked down from the large windows over the ice.<p>

The players were taking their positions waiting for the puck to be dropped, and Nick found he was nervous. He had chosen to stay in the coffee bar's windows, it let him watch without being down with the main crowds. He couldn't handle that at that moment; he still ached, and he was developing quite the black eye from his fight with Karofsky.

He held his breath as the puck fell.

It was clearly a competitive game, and the Storm had control of the puck early. The Hawks were a good team though; they seemed to learn fast, and saw that there was something wrong with the Storm line. It was as if teamwork had suddenly become non-existent; Jeff swept down the ice, but his team wasn't with him and as he found himself alone facing the Hawks' defensive pair, Nick winced as Jeff was checked into the boards.

"Relax," Wes said appearing beside him. He had his arm around Sapphire who gave him a reassuring smile, "just remember 'a un but'," he broke into French, his voice raising in pitch.

Nick nodded and gripped the rail as he stared down at the ice. Despite his team, Jeff was skating like nothing was wrong. He pointed and directed his teammates as if he expected them to obey. And grudgingly Nick could see they obeyed, but it was a struggle of wills, and it was as if Jeff was playing against his own team as well as the Hawks. Nick noticed that Jeff was playing defensively, keeping the Hawks from scoring, but without his team he couldn't go on the offensive. Nick was amazed at how effortless he made the game look, while David blocked every slap shot that got through.

It wasn't until the last few moments of the first period that Jeff burst into action, exploding from the bench on a line change to scoop up the puck from a sloppy Hawks pass. He deked the puck around, sweeping it from side to side as he moved with blinding speed. The slap shot was long, and from an unexpected angle.

The arena exploded into cheers as the red light lit up. A goal.

"Wow!" Nick exclaimed in utter shock as the period ended.

"Un But!" Wes yelled dancing around behind them, "La Lumiere est rouge!"

Nick shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe it, how did he do that?" It had been blindingly fast, but there was no doubt it had been Jeff alone who had scored.

"It was a good goal," Sapphire acknowledged, she touched his arm, "But they can't keep playing like they have been. That was just a lucky goal."

Nick nodded, watching as the Storm made their way off of the ice heading for the locker rooms. He hesitantly looked towards the stairs that would take him down to the locker rooms.

Wes caught the look and shook his head, "He needs you up here, Dude. Down there, he has to do that himself."

Nick looked down over the crowd of students who were leaning expectantly on their seats to watch their team, Jeff's team, playing for them. Nick knew what Wes was saying, even though Jeff had nothing to prove to him. He sensed this was more important than just a game. This was Jeff's chance to prove something to everyone.

He realized he had begun to pace the length of the great windows, waiting for the next period to begin, Wes and Sapphire giving him concerned looks. It was a feeling of futility that had seized him. There was nothing he could do, no way he could help and that made him angry.

He tensed as the two teams retook the ice, folding his hands into the small of his back. He looked over the two teams in the way his father had taught him to do. Read their body language, watch how they react to each other.

From his vantage the Hawks were confident, they had seen a weakness in the Storm' team play, one they would exploit. The Storm were still disorganized, hanging back, listless.

He could hear his father's voice, adopting a lecturing tone, "It's about morale, lose that and you've lost."

From the outset of the second period the Storm were in trouble; the Hawks pressed an offensive and the Storm crumbled under the pressure. David desperately tried to block a rapid succession of shots, Jeff powering to help him, but he was just too late.

The Hawks had tied the game.

"You gotta keep going!" Wes yelled at the glass in frustration, "Bullshit, total bullshit." He turned away in anger.

Jeff slid to a halt before the net, punching David's arm lightly with a gloved hand. It was a reassuring gesture, a show of solidarity to the rest of the team. But minutes later the Hawks were back on the offensive.

Nick could see Wes was growing more and more agitated, his eyes staring intently at the ice, snorting in disgust every time the Hawks advanced. He mouthed silent encouragement, his hands balled and bouncing on the rail in front of him, as if by his will alone he could will the Storm to play better. He had a fierce competitive streak within him, he loved hockey and he was loyal to what he saw as his team.

He collapsed crestfallen when the ref blew the whistle, sending one of the Storm defensemen to the penalty box. On the powerplay, an already desperate home team was again in trouble. Jeff tried to rally his team, pointing and barking orders. Seconds later the Hawks were up another goal.

Coach Beiste was up on her bench, bellowing and screaming at her team, pointing furiously at openings. If she could have taken the ice herself she would have, beating some sense into a team that had just fallen apart on her.

Nick felt guilt welling up inside of him. This was his fault, if he weren't around this would never have happened. Jeff had control of his team, his team had believed in him. Now one stuck-up cheerleader had managed to do what no other hockey team had managed, break the Storm. As the second period buzzer sounded, he could barely bring himself to watch them skate off the ice. Defeat had slumped all of their shoulders, even Jeff looked beaten.

Sapphire was looking at him, and he met her eyes. He shared an emotion-filled look with her, and she knew he was blaming himself. She looked helplessly at Wes.

Wes shook his head, "Jeff has to grab that room and put it together," he said walking back to the coffee bar and ordering a couple of cups, resting his elbows on the bar and scrubbing his face with his hands.

Sapphire glanced back at Nick; he had resumed his pacing again. He was a nervous ball of guilt and anticipation waiting for the inevitable. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but when Wes pushed a mug of coffee into her hands and nodded to Nick, she understood. This wasn't something any of them could control. It was Jeff's fight, and they were just spectators.

She handed Nick the mug of coffee and backed off. Just like Jeff had learned that day that he didn't have to fight Nick's battles for him, Nick had to learn the same thing about Jeff.

The teams taking the ice for the final period, Jeff did a lazy skate around the ref. Looking up at the window where Nick stood, he lifted his stick in a salute then spun on his skates and set up to take the face off. Nick felt his stomach clench, and the final period began.

The crowd was on their feet, as Jeff moved with incredible speed; he was a devil on skates, cutting low and around startled Hawks defensemen. He was up again, rushing on the net, giving everything he had. It was an almost inhuman effort, and the crowd collectively held their breath. Wes was up against the glass, pounding on it, screaming at Jeff to make the shot.

The shot sailed past the dumbfounded goalie to tickle the twine and tie the game again.

The crowd went insane, shouting and hollering, even Nick felt himself getting into it, the coffee forgotten in his excitement of the moment.

Coach Beiste called her team back at the bench, she was saying something to all of them, and she motioned to the C on Jeff's uniform. She reached out and slapped it with the flat of his palm, gesturing angrily as she turned his back on them, and they slowly skated out to centre ice.

It was like a switch had been thrown.

"They're getting fired up," Wes observed, a smile appearing on his face for the first time since the game had begun.

The team was sweeping around, they were playing. They followed direction, they kept their positions and the Hawks were suddenly on the defensive as the Storm came at them. It was a game at last, no longer Jeff alone. They were the Storm and they were going to deal the Hawks a hard lesson.

When the final buzzer sounded, there was no longer any doubt, the final goal, scored by Robbie tipping off of a pass clinched the Storm a final, and decisive victory.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for how long it's taken for me to upload this next chapter, and I'm sorry it's only about the hockey game. I just needed Jeff's team mates to be, sort of, okay with the news.<strong>

**As always thankyou to gottriplets for the name-checking and all the lovely people who review.**


	17. Out in the open

It was the first time they had been together since the cat had escaped the proverbial bag. Nick felt nervous, as he remained standing, back against the rail overlooking the now quiet ice rink. He had decided to hang back as the others rushed down to congratulate the team and participate in the merriment. He hadn't felt a part of it, being the one to nearly cost the team a game - an unforgivable sin in the minds of most Canadians.

But Jeff, equipment bag slung casually over one shoulder, his hair hanging damply over his forehead, had known exactly where to find him. It came with the territory of loving Nick. Knowing when the younger man was going to be exuberant, and when he chose to be reserved. When he let himself relax, and when he chose to feel guilty.

He set the bag down on the floor of the small café and laid his pair of sticks down on top of it. He had the same smug smile on his face that he had worn that first day in the library, the one that said 'I'm Jeffrey Sterling and you can't do anything about it.' He kept his eyes on Nick as he stepped around a couple of older men intent on shaking his hand and congratulating him. He was polite, but made it clear he wasn't about to stop for them.

He crossed the floor and reached out to pull Nick against him.

Nick was startled by the sudden display of public affection; the two men who had been trying to talk to Jeff were now staring in shock at the two of them. And Nick leaned in to whisper; "You did that on purpose," in Jeff's ear.

Jeff, for his part, glanced over at the two startled men and flashed them an unrepentant smile, "Yep," he said, turning back.

"Oh, sorry, boys." Wes stated as he walked into the café, holding his hands up as if to apologize but the grin on his face said he was nowhere close to apologetic, "Sapphire's cornered David and she sent me to find out if you two would like to get away from all this madness, catch a victory dinner, you know girls and their..." he stopped considering who he was talking to, "ok well maybe you don't know girls, but they have this need to celebrate stuff like this. Or maybe you do know," he tossed them a wink, "Let me know"

The corner of Jeff's mouth quirked a little at Wes's unique sense of humour, "Where are we going?"

Wes thumbed behind him, "Back to mine. I'll pick up something to eat and whatever."

Jeff hadn't let go of Nick the entire time he was having his conversation with Wes; it was as if he were making a bold declaration that there was nowhere else he would rather be at that time. "Sure sounds good, I'll bring Duval with me." He sized him up, "I might as well get some use out of him as a baggage handler."

Wes chuckled, "Yeah, I use him as my own English butler at home; he cooks, he cleans it's great!"

Nick flushed slightly under the teasing, "Hey... I..."

He felt Jeff chuckling, a soft vibration in his arms that were tightly wrapped around him as he pressed in close. And he stopped his blustering as he sighed in mock frustration, "I hate you," he murmured.

He helped carry Jeff's equipment, fortunately not the kit bag that was easily as big as he was and probably weighed about the same. The battered Mustang had seen better days, and when Wes saw it he whistled.

"That's a nice car," he said as he glanced about to look for Sapphire.

Jeff smiled again as he opened the trunk to wrestle his gear inside, "My father restored it; sometimes my mom used to complain he spent more time in the garage with this thing than he did with her..."

Nick sensed Jeff tensing at the memory of his father, it was a subject that they just didn't talk about. But then they hadn't really had an opportunity to just talk about anything since the night in the car.

Wes, typically, didn't notice as he bent down to take a look at the twisted fender, "Banged her up pretty good, but nothing that can't be put right with a hammer and a bit of time." He stood up and patted the car's roof.

Fortunately Sapphire joining them spared Jeff any more uncomfortable discussion on the subject, and Nick jumped on the opportunity to start a new conversation. "No David?"

She seemed distant, "Oh, he's coming, he's just..." she looked behind her obviously troubled.

"Everything okay?" Nick pressed in concern.

The sun had gone down and it was getting cold in the parking lot of the arena, most of the other students were piling onto their buses or already in their cars. He shivered, and immediately stopped as Jeff wrapped an arm over his shoulder protectively. It was a subconscious gesture, but it warmed Nick to realize that Jeff was so relaxed.

Sapphire turned back, "Yeah," she said, "David's just breaking up with Quinn. He didn't like what she did to you," she looked up at Jeff, "and so he's breaking up with her."

"Go, Captain Backbone." Wes said firmly, and realizing that Sapphire was giving him an annoyed look, shrugged, "What?"

Jeff let go of Nick as he closed the trunk of the car and stepped up, "I should go find him."

Sapphire shook her head, "No, you guys go, and Wes and I will wait for him. We'll catch you back at the house."

Jeff stuck his hands into his pockets, "Alright," he nodded. "Tell you what, we'll swing past the store and pick up the stuff, that way we should all arrive at the same time."

Wes looked indecisive for a moment as he reached out to touch the Mustang's roof again. Seeing Jeff look puzzled he shrugged apologetically, "Hey, it's not just a car, it's a masterpiece, a work of art. Like a da Vinci, or the Parthenon or a Harley-Davidson."

Nick blinked, looking at the car and looking back at Wes's overt display of emotion towards a piece of metal. He didn't quite understand; a car's a car, right? But the look of understanding that passed between Wes and Jeff said there was more to it than that. He didn't question it as he got into the passenger seat and closed the door.

As the car pulled into the LOEB grocery store parking lot, Nick realized he had been staring thoughtfully out of the window the entire time. He started when Jeff nudged him, and he sheepishly grinned as he got out and followed Jeff into the store.

"You sure you're up to this?" Nick asked as they collected a small cart, "You look knackered."

Jeff frowned at the last word, "Huh?" he asked with a smile. He was growing used to Nick's strange word choices, most of them were easy to guess what they meant.

"Tired," Nick corrected. "Sorry, I have to watch that."

"Why?" Jeff looked at him puzzled as they passed through the produce section, "I like it, it's part of what makes you so, unique."

Nick felt himself begin to blush; he was doing that a lot lately and he hated feeling like a girl, so he willed himself to remain centered. "Thanks, but you're dodging my question."

Jeff nodded, "Yep," he said with a patented grin as he held up a couple of pre-made pizzas, "Think these'll be good?"

"They should be," Nick replied as he rested on the bar of the cart watching as Jeff put in two hearty looking pizzas and motioned for him to move on, "I haven't had a chance to say sorry yet."

Jeff had the capacity to look in control no matter where he was. He was walking alongside the cart with a sense of direction, looking about him with eyes that seemed, at least to Nick, to be watching everything without appearing too interested. His eyebrows raised at Nick's sudden apology as he looked at him, "Don't be sorry, you have nothing to apologize for."

Nick sighed, somehow that didn't make him feel better about being responsible for turning Jeff's life upside down. He said as much.

Jeff reached over the cart to add a couple of bottles of pop to his shopping list, "Look, you tried to warn me right at the beginning; if you want to get technical, Greenwood catching us should have warned me as well, but," he leaned closer to Nick, "I enjoy being near you to much," he kissed Nick gently.

Nick was getting used to the startled gasps, and he looked over jeff's shoulder as a mother quickly tried to push her seven year old boy away from them. The look of delight on the kid's face was priceless.

"Mommy," he said tugging on her arm, "you didn't tell me boys were allowed to kiss too." His mother shot him a pained look, and Nick surmised she would have a few sleepless nights of worry ahead of her after that comment.

Jeff rolled his eyes, "You realize one of these days I am actually going to be able to kiss you without being disturbed."

"The Canal," Nick countered as he resumed pushing the cart. "We kissed there without getting caught."

"Great," Jeff murmured dryly, "I have to drive their every time I want to kiss my boyfriend."

The word was out really before he realized it, and Nick nearly rammed the cart into a salsa display in shock. "Huh?" was all he could manage.

Jeff reached out a hand to steer the cart around the display, affixing Nick with a look that said 'uh...yeah!' as if it was something he had just taken for granted and expected Nick to have done the same. When it dawned on him that Nick hadn't he grinned lopsidedly.

"You... you really don't know what to think about us do you?" he asked, the perma-grin he was wearing broadened in delight, realizing that Nick really was clueless about the whole dating issue.

Nick shrugged, "Well, I mean I know that... well what I mean is..." he struggled to find the right words.

Jeff chuckled, "Yes, you're my boyfriend..."

"Cool! Mom, boys can be boyfriends with each other too!" the young kid's voice was in obvious awe as they rounded the corner and came face to face with the scandalized mother and her overly enthusiastic son. She flashed them a look that would curdle milk as she took a firm hold of her son's hand and had to drag him with her.

Nick cocked his head following the woman's passage as she abandoned her trolley of groceries and made a direct line towards the store's exit. "I think you just converted another one," he said in an offhand comment.

Jeff followed his gaze as he laughed, "Well I have that affect on people it seems."

Nick turned back to him, "So if I'm your boyfriend does that mean I get a second date?"

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself, Duval," Jeff replied as he guided the cart to the checkout line, "I mean, imagine what dating you will do to my reputation."

"Yeah," Nick shot back, "I mean, imagine you a senior dating a lowly sophomore. People might not approve of the age difference."

"Oh I doubt that will bother them," Jeff replied, casually unloading the cart, "I think the fact that you're smart will bother them more."

"Wow, do they ever hold a grudge!" Nick commented with a grin. "I could beat more then half the year with my eyes closed at a test."

"Hey now," Jeff replied in mock annoyance, "I'm one of the dumb one's you know."

"And I don't hold it against you, but for what it's worth, I think you're smart." Nick said as he smiled sweetly.

Jeff rolled his eyes, "My mother's gonna just love you." He shook his head as he reached up to pay the very amused clerk, who gave them a knowing look as he handed them their bags.

* * *

><p><strong>The usual thankyou's to gottriplets and the reviewers!<strong>

**Sorry I haven't been doing the "Next Chapter:" bit recently, I just haven't had the time to do them.**

**Only a few more chapters until the story is finished.**


	18. Sunny side up

Wes's worn pickup was already parked in the drive when the battered Mustang rolled to a stop behind it. Jeff made a move to open the door and get out, but Nick stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

"We're alone," he said with a slight hint of red entering his cheeks.

Surprised, Jeff looked around the car at the deserted suburban street lit by orange street lamps and small peaks of light poking out through the closed curtains in houses. Nick was right; they were alone, no teachers, nor nosey cheerleaders, vengeful pregnant girls or enthusiastic kids. Just a hockey player and an Englishman sitting in a car alone with each other.

"So," Jeff said, letting go of the handle of the door, "Does that mean I actually get to kiss you?"

"Nope," Nick responded, his fingers brushing the golden letters on Jeff's sleeve, "Because if I kiss you I won't want to stop and the others are probably waiting for us inside."

"You know," Jeff said glancing around him, "I could always find a field and strand us again."

"Oh, this time can it be you with hypothermia?" Nick screwed his nose up in distaste, "I don't fancy going through that again."

Jeff's eyebrows rose in mock surprise, "Hmm, don't know about that one, I think I'm supposed to be the hero in this relationship."

Nick blinked a couple of times, "Excuse me? Do I look like a damsel in distress to you?"

Jeff chuckled, "Well, we'd have to buy you a dress, but you could probably pull it off if you shaved your legs or something.."

Nick gave him a baleful glare; "Right, I'm definitely not even going to consider kissing you now."

Jeff's face melted into a smile, "Aww, come on, I didn't mean it."

"Tough," Nick replied, folding his arms resolutely and half turning his head away.

Jeff leaned across to him and brushed Nick's shoulder with his hand, "I'm sorry."

Nick was desperately trying not to laugh, as he shrugged off Jeff's hand, "Nope, you think I'm a girl or something."

Jeff playfully worked to pry nick's arms out of their folded position as Nick fought to keep them crossed, and seconds later he succumbed to his giggles, allowing Jeff to pull his arms apart and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. At the last second Nick turned his head and their lips met, and the warmth of that single gesture caused him to quiver.

Jeff drew back in surprise. "You okay?" he asked in concern.

Nick smiled as he rested his head against Jeff's forehead, their noses touching. "I was waiting for the shocked gasp," he admitted with a sly grin.

"I never realized you were an exhibitionist, Duval," Jeff said, giving him a suspicious look.

"Oh really?" Nick replied, "Didn't the fact that I always make you kiss me in public give it away?"

Jeff shrugged, "You just like to show off the fact that you're kissing me."

"Ah, the famous Sterling cockiness," Nick said sagely, as he slipped out of Jeff's embrace and reached into the back of the car to grab the grocery bags. "Personally I think it's you who should be showing me off."

They climbed out of the car and trudged up the driveway towards the house, their footprints marking the fresh dusting of snow that had fallen sometime in the early evening. It was a crisp and cool night, not too cold but just enough to have an edge to it. Nick shivered instinctively and Jeff wrapped an arm about him to pull him close as they climbed the steps and banged into the house.

Wes was standing by the stereo fiddling with the equalizer as loud down-tempo jazz poured out of the antiquated stereo. Wes insisted that music only sounded right when it was played on vinyl, that CD's just didn't have the same resonance.

Sapphire was curled up into the chair, a large mug of what looked like hot cocoa in her hands and her legs pulled up close against her as she listened to Wes's lecture. She was remarkably patient with him, even though Nick knew for a fact Sapphire was a CD junkie.

They stopped into the hall, Nick giving his friends a big smile as he lifted up the bag of groceries triumphantly, "Mission accomplished!" he stated loudly.

Wes glanced up at the clock, a bemused smile on his lips. "By the time, I'm guessing you took the scenic route around Jeff's tonsils,"

Nick gaped at him, "Hey! I don't make wisecracks every time you're kissing Sapphire." He shook his head as he marched into the kitchen and set the bags down on the countertop. He glanced apologetically at Jeff, who seemed completely un-fazed by Wes's gentle ribbing.

He paused in concern when he saw David walk to the fridge and take out another bottle; he nodded to Jeff and extended a beer to him. Jeff grinned and accepted.

Nick drank, had since he was a little whippersnapper on his granddad's knee sipping bitter poured by a master bartender and left to stand till it was just the right temperature. That smooth liquid that warmed the soul and gave such a thick, rich flavour, American larger just wasn't the same and it just reminded him of what he missed about home.

Nick smiled softly to himself as he set about firing up the oven and unwrapping the pizzas.

* * *

><p>The evening had worn into night, and it was climbing suspiciously close to being considered morning. To that group of friends splayed out around the living room talking about nothing and everything all at the same time, it was like no time had passed at all, they were so lost in their own conversations.<p>

David gestured with his beer bottle, "I'd never have guessed."

"That's 'cause you ain't too bright," Wes quipped back.

David shot him a dirty look, and returned to motioning at Jeff who was on the floor propped up against the couch resting at Nick's feet, an arm draped over his boyfriend's knee. "I mean you... of all people, not that there is anything wrong with that, but..."

Jeff nodded, "I get what you're saying." He shrugged, "I don't know; I can't explain it..." He glanced up at Nick with those chocolate brown eyes which were just to easy to melt into.

"It's not something you just choose to be," Sapphire stated sagely, as she settled into the crook of Wes's arm, "You just know."

Nick screwed up his nose and shook his head, "I don't agree with that. I think it's more than just crossed wiring. I think explaining love as a genetic disorder is wrong. It's something... more than that."

"Duval's a romantic," Wes summed up with a grin, "or he's going all religious on us."

Nick shrugged, "I wouldn't say that," he took off his glasses and rubbed them on the tail of his shirt taking a moment to yawn, "I just don't like thinking it's not... well normal."

David nodded, "My point exactly, what we think is okay, and what is socially acceptable..." He shook his head, "Don't take this the wrong way Duval, but Jeff, why?"

Curious, Sapphire leaned forward in her seat, and even Nick found himself wondering at the question. Why would Jeffrey Sterling, Captain Amazing, school hero, why would he be gay? Why would he be so open about it?

Jeff chewed on the question as he toyed with the label of his beer bottle, "My dad is part of it I guess." He became a bit quiet, "Like when we found the car, the Mustang, it was this pile of rust that had been sitting in a barn for years. We dragged that thing all the way home and my mum took one look at it and she asked him what it was supposed to be." Jeff's eyes sparkled at the memory, "My dad just said it didn't matter what it was, just that it was beautiful and it was his." He chuckled, "Mum thought he'd lost it and left him alone."

Wes grinned and nodded in understanding. Sapphire and Nick looked at each other, puzzled.

Jeff sighed, seeing that he was going to have to explain. "My dad took such a ribbing over that car, everyone who saw it thought he was insane, but he kept saying that it didn't matter, that they just didn't see what he saw."

Nick folded his arms, "Great, I'm being compared to a hunk of rusty metal."

"Nope," Jeff said as he glanced up at him, "I saw something in you that I just had to have and to hell with what other people thought."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Wes made a gagging gesture.

Sapphire elbowed him in the ribs, "How come you never say stuff like that to me?" she demanded petulantly.

"On that note," Wes said, suddenly looking like he wanted to escape, "I'm going to bed; I guess you guys are all staying here so make yourselves at home."

Sapphire threw him a disgusted look, "Great, I have to sleep with you."

"Hey," Wes responded the wry grin returning to his face, "I didn't make me this attractive for no reason."

David sluggishly worked himself to his feet, swaying a little from the alcohol, "s'okay if I just crash?"

Sapphire grinned as she helped him up the stairs towards the guest's bedroom, Wes walking along behind muttering something about idiots not being able to hold their liquor.

Once they had departed, Nick stood up and looked towards the stairs. "Well, it is late and..."

Jeff had a faintly amused look on his face as he struggled to stand. "Bedroom?" he inquired, his voice quietening, and Nick glanced at him. That wasn't a note of nervousness in his voice? The Jeffrey Sterling nervous?

When they were both stretched out on the bed, both still fully-clothed, Nick felt Jeff's hands wrap around him and draw him close. And Nick smiled, running a hand along the sleeve of Jeff's plain cotton shirt.

"Mmmmm, nice," Jeff murmured, a smile forming on his lips as his last reserve of energy gave out and he fell asleep.

Nick blushed, taking off his glasses and putting them on the nightstand, snuggling into the crook of Jeff's arm as they had done in the car and he too fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Nick awoke feeling Jeff's arms wrapped around him, and for the moment it took for him to realize he wasn't dreaming he was surprised. It was like being back in the car, except there was no sharp cold, or desperation. There was only the warmth of Jeff's body heat, and that all-too-familiar smell of cologne and a faint smell of perspiration.<p>

He lay there a moment staring at the red digits of his alarm clock radio as it ticked steadily towards nine o'clock, just enjoying having Jeff there with him, basking in the memory of the intimacy they had finally been able to share.

Nick turned over in the bed and saw Jeff, his chin propped up in his hand, those stunning brown eyes still red from sleep and filled with love as he watched Nick look up at him.

"You look so peaceful when you're asleep," Jeff said, his voice raspy and dry, "except for all the snoring."

"Hey!" Nick said, blushing a bright shade of red from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair, "I don't snore."

"You do." Jeff said. Rolling his eyes back into his head he imitated a loud nasal snore.

Nick hit him lightly on the shoulder, "Stop that! I do not!"

Jeff grinned and rubbed his arm, feigning injury, "Alright, alright so you don't snore."

Nick shook his head, "Damn right I don't, you on the other hand..."

Jeff arched his eyebrow and put on his customary self-confident look, "Uh-huh, admit it, you liked it..."

Nick blushed again, and he buried his face into the pillow to hide it. He felt as though he was grinning like a madman. Jeff waited a few moments then politely rolled him over onto his back, leaning across him to plant a kiss on his lips.

He drew back, a look of disgust twisting his face, "Eeew, morning breath!"

Nick's jaw dropped open in shock, "What?" his eyes wide like saucers.

Jeff grinned at him, "I'm joking," he said as he leaned in to finish the kiss.

The bedroom door crashed open and they both jumped as Wes, in typical dramatic fashion bounded into the room.

"Hey boys!" He thumped a white book with broad gold letters on the front cover that looked suspiciously like a Holy Bible, against his other hand. "My dear grandmother said to me before she left this world," the bible punctuating each word as it stuck his hand, "that if yer gonna be laying with somebody, yer gonna be burying somebody."

Nick and jeff stared at Wes in complete shock, not quite understanding what the raving boy was on about.

"I've taken the liberty," Wes continued, a mad glint in his eye, "of contacting the Reverend Smith of the Anglican faith to be performing the upcoming nuptials..."

Nick's jaw dropped open.

"Of course I will be giving Nicky boy here away and dear sweet Sapphire will make sure Jeff makes it to the church on time!"

Nick began to laugh, as Jeff shrugged and wrapped his arm around him, "Morning Wes," Jeff said in his usual calm manner, the smile dancing in his eyes.

Sapphire poked her head around the door, taking in the scene with a broad grin on her face, "Wes, I stole one of your shirts."

Wes rounded on her, a strained look on his face, "Damn girl, that's one of my favourite shirts!" as if he realized that he would never see it again.

She gave him one of her sweetest smiles as she walked into the bedroom wearing the tee-shirt like a nightshirt over top of a pair of his boxers, as if to say 'there is nothing you can do about it so don't even try.' She found the edge of the bed and stretched out, wrapping a long arm around Nick as she snuggled in.

"I'll have my eggs over-easy," she said imperiously, ignoring the look of surprise on Wes's face.

"Scrambled for me," Jeff said, exchanging a grin with Sapphire. "And I like my bacon crispy..."

Nick gave Wes a sweet innocent grin, "Sunny-side-up, bacon juicy and lots of coffee."

"Be happy to feed you my cookin'," Wes said with a huge grin.

Sapphire face fell, and Nick paled, both remembering how bad of a cook Wes actually was. Nick looked at her and she at him, wondering which of them would have to rescue the breakfast from disaster.

"What's all the noise?" David said sleepily, struggling into the bedroom, his hair standing straight up in a perfectly-formed mess. He literally looked five minutes reheated from the grave.

Nick and Sapphire looked at each other and they turned to David with a broad smile between them, "Nothing, we just decided you're cooking us breakfast in bed."

"What?" David murmured looking stunned.

"It's either you," Nick said, "Or it's him." He pointed to Wes.

David murmured a curse, "Okay, okay I'm going." He struggled to straighten out his sweatpants and adjust his teeshirt, when he stopped and looked at Nick, Jeff and Sapphire beaming at him from the bed. "Man, I am so in the wrong house," he muttered.

Wes shook his head, "When I let Nick move in here, I didn't expect him to turn it into a whore house; how many more people you gonna' have in here at the same time? Just make sure you keep it PG" He shook his head with a wry grin.

Nick rolled his eyes in response, "They don't have gay couples in PG films," he shot back, smiling when he felt the weight of Jeff's chin on his shoulder.

* * *

><p><strong>Thankyou to gottriplets for name checking, and thankyou to everyone for being so patient with my slow updates, I'm really sorry about that.<strong>

**Some of you seemed to be a little confused with what I wrote at the end in my last authors note, I didn't mean that was the last chapter, I'm just saying that there will only be a few more chapters until the story is complete. I will tell you when it's finished so don't worry about that. Sorry for the confusion.**


	19. Murmured rumours

Mass on valentines day was a unique event in that small town, it was the one religious event where the whole town crowded into that old church. The religious and agnostic alike attended that service. It had been decided a long time ago that the mass be held jointly in the same church, both Anglicans and Catholics sharing in one larger and common show of faith.

It was Father Fitzpatrick's turn that year to host the ceremony, and perform it in a traditional Catholic fashion. No one seemed to mind.

It was still early, and the choir was beginning to set up for the late night performance. A tradition that went back to when the church had first been founded, the choir always performed a set of hymns and carols before the mass started.

Jeff was standing at the back of the church, his mother had insisted he wear his suit and he felt so adult, waiting for... waiting for the man he loved to join him and his family for the first time. It was a little scary; his mother didn't know, and at some point he would have to tell her. But that was not something you just spilled out over dinner in between conversations about Uncle Ronnie's new pool and requests to pass the peas. No, that was a sit down and talk about it conversation definitely, so that really didn't give him much excuse for keeping quiet. He was just... playing it safe.

When Nick arrived, in the company of an ever-vigilant Wes, who kept one hand on his shoulder steering the frightened rabbit who looked set to bolt if given a chance. Jeff couldn't help but give him a reassuring smile; Nick was a timid creature when he was uncertain of himself. Yet in some moments, he had the determination of a bull.

Jeff took a step forward to say hello, but was cut off by Leanne dragging a protesting Paul along with her. She was fussing over Nick's appearance, straightening a collar that didn't need straightening and adjusting his tie. And again Jeff smiled as the look on Nick's face changed to one of aggravation at all the fuss he was being subjected to.

"You will sit with us," Nick's strong-willed aunt said firmly to him, as if she were making a declaration.

"Actually," Jeff said, stepping around her, "He was invited to join my mother and me." He smiled, "But I'm sure my mother wouldn't object if you wanted to join us."

He took small delight in the sudden shift in Leanne from overconfidence to hesitance as she glanced to where Micheline was standing with the choir warming up for their performance.

"No, no," Paul said shaking his head firmly, "we shouldn't intrude." The last part was firmly directed towards his wife, who looked set to protest until she saw the finality in Paul's eyes. She reluctantly agreed with him and the pair of them left. Wes had vanished somewhere as well leaving Nick and Jeff alone at the back of the church.

Nick gave a shy smile, looking slightly uncomfortable as if trying to see into the darkened corners of the church without fully stepping into it. And Jeff followed his gaze. The church was filling fast, and there were several kids from their school sitting with their parents. The looks they were getting told him that the rumour was spreading fast.

A few of the stares and murmurs were from adults as well.

"Looks like we're making an impression," Jeff said, sticking his hands into his pockets defiantly.

"I could just go..." Nick said, turning back to the door and freezing, his eyes wide.

Jeff knew who it would be before he turned around. The Major standing stock still in the entrance to the Church, decked out in his uniform with his peaked cap tucked under his arm. Behind him his wife holding onto little Lucy's hand.

There was a tense moment, the Major's eyes travelling first over Nick, and then over Jeff. They stopped, weighing and considering heavily; there was no doubt in Jeff's mind, the Major knew exactly the who, what, when, where, how and why of it all.

The seconds dragged by, as that heavy brow furrowed and those eyes darkened with barely controlled anger. And Jeff felt Nick tensing up behind him, as if he was about to bolt, and run for his life.

Jeff wasn't about to let that happen. "I had hoped to avoid this, we both did," he said, stepping in front of Nick protectively, his shoulders back and a vivid current of electricity that hadn't been there a moment before hummed in the air. Jeff was as resolute as old oak. "You are going to leave us be, you are going to take your seat, and you are going to have a happy-ish day, I understand that will be very difficult for a man like you though."

The Major appeared on the verge of an apoplexy, the vein in his forehead throbbed as he turned varying shades of red till finally settling into a deep purple. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Lucy slipped out of his wife's hands and dashed to wrap her short arms around Nick's legs.

"Happy valentines, Nicky... your boyfriend is very pretty," she said in a tiny voice that was so filled with emotion that everyone's eyes were dragged to her.

Nick's cheeks flushed red and his eyes welled with tears, as he knelt down to wrap his own arms around her. The Major and his wife looked on in frustration, both realizing they were in public and the entire town was watching them. Jeff could see the rage seething in the Major's eyes and he rested a hand protectively on Nick's shoulder.

Nick looked up at him; Jeff looked like a knight at the end of his prayer vigil, ready to take up a shining sword, a gleaming shield. And his desire to run away withered; no matter what happened, he would be all right.

Whether the Major liked it or not.

But before the Major could say anything they all heard it: crescendoing over the rest like the trumpet of Gabriel, like the magic voice of Orpheus in Hades-Wes. Nick forgot all about the major. Nick forgot about everything.

_When a knight won his spurs, in the stories of old, He was gentle and brave, he was gallant and bold;  
>With a shield on his arm and a lance in his hand<br>For God and for valour he rode through the land._

Absolute perfect pitch without vibrato his voice was hollow and pure and huge and it slowly filled with passion.

_No charger have I, and no sword by my side,  
>Yet still to adventure and battles I ride,<br>Though back into storyland giants have fled,  
>And the knights are no more and the dragons are dead.<em>

It went on and on, fell in a cascade of notes, then sailed back up, soprano parts delivered with all the power of a grown man's lungs and diaphragm. It was the voice of God calling the world into creation, the primeval dawn, and Nick's jaw hung open.

_Let faith be my shield and let joy be my steed  
>'Gainst the dragons of anger, the ogres of greed;<br>And let me set free, with the sword of my youth,  
>From the castle of darkness the power of the truth<em>

Wes came to an end at last as Nick released Lucy and she was swept back up into her mother's arms. The Major flashed a look of utter hatred at them, but it was half-hearted after the shock of the performance as he guided his new family past them to take their seats amidst a jostling crowd of applause and "bravos!"

In shock the two boys stared at their friend in wonder and utter disbelief until Father Fitzpatrick took the microphone, "That was beautiful; Wes's grandmother, as you all know, passed away this year after losing her fight with cancer. She directed our choir tirelessly for over forty years, and it was our pleasure to allow her grandson to sing her favourite hymn on this holiest of nights..."

The power of music.

* * *

><p>Nick was strangely quiet and introspective riding beside Jeff; it was something he just did when he was on car rides. Sit and stare out of the window and think. Things would only get harder from here, and he knew it. It was no longer just a whisper in a hallway, no longer an insult thrown at his back, it was a very real part of his life and he had to accept that.<p>

"My mum's going to be in bed when we get back home," Jeff was saying, trying to rouse Nick out of his introspection. "But I know she won't mind you staying the night and I know for a fact that I definitely don't mind."

"Do you think that's a good idea..." Nick asked, feeling the soft cashmere of his jacket sleeve as he rested his face against it. "After tonight everyone is going to know."

"You don't know my mum." Jeff said firmly, shaking his head, "People don't gossip to her, they know better. Though she deserves to know..." he swallowed, no doubt wondering how he was going to broach the subject with her.

"Should we tell her?" Nick asked quietly.

"It would be one hell of a present," Jeff flashed him a decidedly wicked smile, "Happy valentines, I'm gay."

"You're probably right." Nick replied, suddenly dreading the prospect of spending the night at the Sterlings's. Maybe if he feigned an illness... or just asked to go home. Close his eyes and hide under the covers and the whole mess would just go away. But that would mean losing the one thing that meant the world to him... and as he sat there thinking, he knew that he couldn't lose Jeff. Not now, not ever.

"Don't worry about it," Jeff said, reaching out to lay a hand on Nick's. "You're going to have a good time, and she doesn't bite..."

"...hard," Nick finished for him, offering him a shy smile. Jeff grinned in return as the Mustang pulled into his driveway and rolled to a stop behind his mother's car.

Nick swallowed and followed him into the house. It was a converted trailer, one that had long ago been set onto a foundation and several extensions had been built onto it giving it more room. It had the feel of a bungalow to Nick, roomy and comfortable but all on one level.

Though the furniture was a little worn, it had more of a used look to it, and everything seemed to invite him in. The table sitting beside a large set of patio doors had a floral centrepiece in the middle of it, and there were photographs hanging on the walls of a happy family.

He stopped beside one, and blinked a couple of times, looking back over at Jeff, "You look just like your dad."

Jeff came over to the pictures, squinting his eyes a bit. "I guess I do," he said, not entirely sounding convinced. But to Nick the resemblance was almost shocking, showing Nick a glimpse into an alternate Jeff, one who had never met him, one who had gotten married, had a kid, lived a happy life...

"Hey," Jeff said, wrapping his arms around Nick. "You okay?" he asked warmly, and Nick felt the warmth of Jeff's love steady him before he plunged down that road of self-doubt and loathing.

"I'm okay," he replied quietly.

"Mmhmm," Jeff said suspiciously, guiding Nick, while still keeping him wrapped up in his arms, down the hall and into the last room at the end of the hall. And Nick looked about at the comfortable den, with its books and a large TV tucked into the corner.

"Retro-seventies..." Jeff said with a huge smile as he looked about the room, collapsing into the sofa dragging Nick down with him. As if he didn't want to let Nick go now that he had a hold of him. Nick wasn't objecting.

"Strangely suits you," Nick replied nose to nose with Jeff.

Jeff shook his head, "Nope, you're the old fashioned one. If I had my way this would all be gutted and turned into a loft or something. Throw in a pool table."

Nick glanced again at the room, "Awfully small pool table," he remarked, but before he could continue Jeff kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Shut up, Duval," he said with a smile.

Nick leaned back and arched an eyebrow, "What if I don't want to?" he stated firmly.

Jeff leaned in and kissed him again, this time gently tugging on the lower lip with his teeth as he playfully settled back onto the couch, "If you don't, I won't kiss you."

"Well," Nick said casting a look towards the door, "considering your mother is just up the hall I think I should jolly well keep talking." He had a Jeff firmly attached to his lips again, and he sighed in frustration, relaxing into the kiss and picked up right where he left off when Jeff released him, "because the last thing I want is..." another kiss, "to have her walk in here..." he was smothered again, and his shoulders sagged defeatedly, ".fine... you win."

Jeff flashed that cool-calm-and-collected smile as he rolled off of the couch, leaving Nick to peer over the edge of it at a completely composed and innocent-looking hockey player... well, that was what one would have looked like if there were any innocent hockey players.

Nick blinked a couple of times, "Huh?"

Jeff smiled his usual collected smile, as he lifted the remote and clicked on the television, "want to watch a movie?" he asked raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Nick continued to look puzzled, "Umm okay, but I don;t like that look your giving me right now. This better not be some porno."

Jeff stretched out alongside the couch and flipped the channel till he came across something lovey-dovey and he left it. It was a particularly old film that really wasn't that interesting, but they watched it reach its overly sentimental conclusion. They spent the night with movies, trying to convey a message of hope, playing in the background.

Neither of them were paying it any attention, they were both looking at each other with a nervous anticipation. Seeing the hope they both shared.

"Are you going to join me down here, or do I have to go get you?" Jeff said, finally sitting upright.

"Your mother." Nick reminded, and Jeff considered it a moment before shrugging and reaching out to pull a reluctant Nick down onto him.

"She's asleep," he whispered in a low, husky voice, cradling the younger man in his arms, "for now I just want to kiss you."

Their lips met again as they kissed. Nick loved the texture of those lips. The slight coarseness of Jeff's face. The intensity of the kiss heightened their arousal, each battling for supremacy with their tongues. Nick leaned back, his legs straddling Jeff's chest and he looked down on the man he loved. It still felt strange, but they were so far beyond a juvenile notion of sexuality at that point. In the face of the feelings Nick experienced at that moment, all his doubts before seemed so trivial.

Jeff looked up at him, his head resting on the floor with his sandy blonde hair splayed out around it, that coolly confident look in his eyes, "Say it."

Nick chuckled, "Say what?" he replied coyly.

"I love you." Jeff said with a smile.

"I know." Nick replied and leaned in to kiss him again. Two words that meant more to him, and conveyed more than 'I love you' ever could. For the first time in his life he was loved unconditionally, and he knew it.

Jeff smiled, "Bastard," he teased as he sighed contentedly, reaching up to untuck Nick's shirt from his belted trousers.

Nick looked down, wondering if he should stop him, but felt that electric thrill leap through him as Jeff's fingers found skin. He gasped, every instinct wanted him to giggle and his eyes went wide.

"You're ticklish?" Jeff said, his eyes suddenly lighting up, "I didn't know that."

Nick licked his lips and took a deep breath, "I can control it," he said reassuringly, more for his own benefit than for Jeff's.

Jeff's smile became wider as smiled up at Nick, "I am going to have to test that theory later," he grinned before bringing his lips to meet Nick's again. "For now, I just want you. I didn't get to take you on a date today, so instead I'm going to give you something no-one else can." He flipped them over so that he was now straddling Nick's lap, "I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm really <em>really<em> sorry for how long it took to update, I'm not even going to begin making excuses. Just know that I am deeply sorry!**

**I promise the next chapter won't be so long. And Just a quick heads up, next chapter will be the finale one! Unless I come up with an idea for an epilogue.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to gottriplets for being such a big help throughout the story, and thank you to all you lovely reviewers, I'm hoping to have the time to reply to a few of them tonight.**


	20. Always be daring

Nick was thirsty, it was sometime ridiculously early in the morning, and he needed a drink. It was that kind of bone-dry that left the mouth feeling like it was gummy and slimy. He hated that feeling, but eventually after much mental debating he decided to venture out of the den to go get a drink of water.

He first had to extricate himself from the cocooning embrace Jeff had wrapped him up in. It was the third night they had ever spent together, and so it was the third night in his life that he had felt so completely safe. The way Jeff just shielded him made him feel stronger, and he knew he would be a stronger person for it.

He slipped out of Jeff's arms, watching as the blond rolled over muttering to himself, pulling the blanket they had both shared on the floor of the den closer about him. It was a cold morning, so he reluctantly pulled his trousers on and grabbed Jeff's cotton shirt, his own being some where out of reach.

It was a size too big for him and so it hung loosely on him and was noticeably not his own, but he was only running to get a glass of water from the kitchen. It was too early for anyone to catch him, he'd be fine.

He nosed out of the den, taking a moment to look at Jeff's mother's door, closed thankfully. And he padded down the hall in bare feet trying to pull on the sleeves to Jeff's shirt to keep his hands free.

The kitchen was dark, daylight only beginning to poke itself over the field that backed onto Jeff's house. The sun was beginning to turn the pitch-blackness outside into a lighter shade of blue and grey, and the house was deathly silent. He fumbled around for a light switch so that he could see where he was going. It felt awkward to be wandering around a strange house in the dark. But yet he carried on.

His fingers found the switch and as the light clicked on he jumped, realizing he wasn't alone.

The pinch-nosed woman sitting wrapped up in a pink flannel robe, her hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee and her eyes locked on the sunrise, scared the living hell out of him. He had met Jeff's mother briefly the morning after the car crash in the police station, but they had exchanged no more than passing familiarities. To suddenly come face to face with her...

She turned her head towards him, a piercing gaze that swept from the top of his head to his bare toes and back up again. It was like he was under a microscope, being examined for some kind of bizarre experiment. The awkward silence passing between them was thick, and Nick realized it was settling into a ball at the pit of his stomach.

He had expected the first words out of her mouth to be, "Hello, how are you?" or "I'm Jeff's mother, nice to meet you..." even a "Good morning," would have been nice.

No, Micheline wasn't that kind of woman.

"So you're the one that's been sleeping with my son..." The observation hung like an icicle in the dim morning. Ready to fall at a moment's notice. The ball of tension settling inside Nick became a cold, hard knot of panic.

He glanced behind him up the hall, as if he could summon Jeff to rescue him. The urge to just bolt was strong. Too many years of his father's abuse, too many strong memories of the fights, the constant futility of trying to exist in the face of people who felt he didn't have a right to be there.

He swallowed, looking nervous. He must have been white as a sheet.

She opened her mouth to speak again, and Nick was certain of his own impending doom; he expected a "Get out of my house," or "My son is not gay..."

But no, that would just be too easy.

"So was he good?" she asked, stirring sugar into her coffee cup, dropping that bombshell as if she were discussing the weather outside. Completely un-fazed by the implications of what she asked.

Nick's mouth moved, trying to form words... he wanted to die right there, shrivel up and just vanish. Be anywhere else, do anything else. Instead he just stood there in dumbstruck shock.

"Oh, do stop standing there like a wet fish," Micheline muttered, lifting her cup to her lips and tasting the rich liquid. "I wasn't born yesterday. I know my son, I know that he has been running around here the last few weeks with a love-struck look on his face. You stay the night, his room is empty when I get up and you come padding down the hall in a shirt I bought him for his last birthday..." she arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow expressively, "I reached a conclusion, and by the floundering expression on your face, I take it I made the correct one."

Nick tried to recover his composure, thinking of about a half-dozen lies he could fire off, but they all sounded so weak in his mind. Jeff's mother would see right through them. There was no other choice but to just accept the fact that he was, to use a colourful metaphor, up shit creek and forgotten to bring a paddle.

"Good morning," he managed, falling back on his British composure to save him. There were rules of conduct for every situation, and when everything else failed hiding behind a mask of formality often gave him refuge. Most people tended to not notice him and carry on with their lives.

Did he forget to mention Micheline wasn't that kind of woman?

"Sit down," she intoned, like a queen bidding a subject to sit. Matching his formality with a commanding presence, she knew all too well how to deal with false British bravado. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Nick nodded as he sat down, "Thank you..."

Micheline looked over at a cupboard in the kitchen, "The cups are up there."

Nick, who had just sat down, found himself back on his feet and he had the sinking suspicion Micheline loved every moment of his discomfort. He selected a heavy-looking mug, something decidedly masculine, and he sat back down at the table, reaching across to pick up the carafe.

"You look like your father," Micheline observed, changing tacks on him, and Nick felt for sure he saw the boom swinging about to knock him overboard.

"I'm not my father," Nick replied, knowing all to well the implications of her observation.

"Jeff," her eyes softened, "is very much like his father; I've had eighteen years to know my son, and before that I was married for five to his father. They share the same facial expressions, the same look in their eyes." She looked across the table at Nick, "How long?"

Nick took a heavy breath, "How long for what?" he asked, preferring to play dumb, it seemed safer.

Micheline's eyes hardened again, she knew full well he was playing stupid, and he got the impression it wouldn't work with her. She could see the intelligence in his eyes, and she knew when a man was trying to be something he was not.

That look convinced Nick to abandon his ploy, and be honest, "Since the car, if you mean feelings. If you mean a relationship, that took a little longer."

Her eyes relaxed, "It has to be hard," she stated, her voice losing some of its edge. "When I met Jeff's father, we were going to school in a small town; I went to the American high school and he went to the English one." She seemed to become distant, remembering, "I can remember when I told my father that I was dating an English boy..." she shook her head, "He was angry, swore that he would take that boy out to the woods and beat him till he forgot all about me... Jeff's father wouldn't put up with that... Sterling men can be remarkably stubborn, especially when they are in love..."

Nick rubbed his chin as he picked up his coffee mug, "I've noticed that, what happened?"

Micheline gave him an amused smile, "We used to have secret rendezvous and I must have told a hundred lies to my parents as to where I was going... just so I could meet him." She focused back on Nick, "I felt that we would get away with it, and it wasn't until my mother stopped me one day and told me she knew what was going on that I realized she had known all along."

Nick was getting the dual meaning, "And so did she put a stop to it?"

Micheline chewed her lip thoughtfully studying the young British man seated across from her, "She told me to stop going down the drain pipe and just use the back door instead."

Nick couldn't help but chuckle over the image of that imperious woman seated in her pink flannel robe, shimmying down a drainpipe in the middle of the night. "Well I haven't had to do that."

"No," Micheline said quietly, "But I know the Major didn't react well when he found out."

Nick looked down at the table and nodded, "He went ballistic."

There was a look in Micheline's eye, something that said she was delighted by that news. Nick looked up and caught a glimpse of it, but it was gone too fast for him to be sure, "I think he was just looking for an excuse..."

As they sat together, the sun finally raised itself from its long slumber and cast golden light across the snow-covered field, banishing the last remnants of night. It was now officially the morning at last.

"Well, my son is in love," she said at last as if reaching a decision, "and I know nothing I could possibly say will shift a bull-headed Sterling once they have set their mind on something." Micheline gave him a very predatory smile, making her look almost hawkish, "Besides, if it gives the Major a stroke, so much the better."

* * *

><p>Jeff awoke feeling the slight chill of morning and he turned over to look for Nick, surprised and momentarily disorientated when he didn't find him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to find that happy balance between awake and asleep that would let him function until he could take a shower.<p>

Nick was nowhere to be seen, and Jeff knew that he would have to find him. Given half a chance, Nick was probably running as fast as he could for Wes's place before he met...

There was the sound of talking coming from the kitchen, and Jeff rolled his eyes, only Nick would manage to wake up first, and would end up falling into his mother's clutches. As nice as Nick was, he just wasn't a match for Micheline Sterling. She was probably getting ready to serve him up for breakfast by now. Or at the very least lightly toasting him for lunch.

He got up and began to pull on his clothes, discovering to his frustration that he couldn't find his shirt. He had found Nick's behind the couch where it had been thrown at some point during the 'activities' of the previous night.

Jeff smiled as he wandered out of the den and ducked into his room, grabbing a shirt from his wardrobe and slipping it on. He took a moment to comb his hair down and fix his collar; he didn't want to make his mother suspicious. He didn't want to think about what her reaction would be.

He stuck his hands into his pockets and walked back into the hall, the voices in the kitchen were talking in a low conspiratory fashion, and when he sauntered out of the hall they stopped entirely.

He was surprised to see Nick sitting at the table drinking coffee with his mother and the two looking completely relaxed from their conversation. It was such a stark contrast to the normal morning ritual in which his mother would be staring out to watch the dawn. In fact his mother seemed not to notice the morning through the patio doors beside her, she looked more like her normal self.

He glanced at Nick who looked pleased to see him, wrapped up in the missing shirt that made him look so small. Nick just seemed destined to wear Jeff's clothes. "Morning, Duval..." he started.

His mother gave him a look over the rim of her coffee mug, and he stopped short of finishing the sentence. She was smiling!

"I was just discussing china patterns with young Nicholas here," she said lightly, "I was thinking something modern but he wants a more traditional Wedgwood pattern."

"China patterns?" Jeff asked, his shoulders slumping as a confused look entered his eyes and he looked to Nick for some kind of explanation.

"Well," Nick said simply, "apparently if you make an honest boy out of me, your mother offered to help pick out the china."

It was the first time Nick had ever seen Jeff's calm demeanour crack. The look of shock, surprise and confusion on his face made for a hilarious combination. His mother smiled at her son.

"Well, I'd rather know you were both safe and comfortable and doing things under this roof; the back seat of that mustang can be uncomfortable."

"MOM!" Jeff's face screwed up in a scandalized look, as if he had a mental picture implanted in his head. It would take him weeks of scrubbing the back seat until he felt comfortable again in the car.

She gave him a surprised look, "What? You didn't think I'd let your father restore that gas-guzzling pollution maker without getting something in return?"

Jeff reached up to cover his ears, "Oh god... I'm... I don't need to know!"

She looked down the table at Nick, "The boy brings someone home, and he thinks I won't notice. Then when I so much as mention sex he covers his ears and wants to hide." She shook her head as she stood up, "Well since I know have two teenage boys in my house this morning, I had better start putting together something for breakfast, no doubt you're hungry."

She walked into the main kitchen and began to rattle pots and pans preparing to cook something warm and hearty for both of them. Jeff stared after her in amazement wondering at the fact that no matter how long he knew her, she still surprised him. It was strange; he could see how his father had fallen in love with her.

He glanced at Nick as he sat down, the two boys sharing the-morning-after-the night-before look. If he was glowing half as much as Nick was, there was no possible way they could have kept it a secret from his mother.

As if reading his thoughts, Nick leaned in and whispered, "She knew before I got up," as if wanting to reassure him that he hadn't given it away.

Jeff shrugged, "Mom's quick, she knows things." He looked over at Nick, "Can I be daring?"

"Huh?" Nick inquired, but before he could ask Jeff what he meant, he had been kissed.

Micheline shook her head watching them; it was going to be an adjustment but then what wasn't? At least Jeff had the common sense not to bring home a cheerleader. She gave them both a disparaging look and tsked, "Am I going to have to get the hose?" she asked, breaking eggs into the pan.

Jeff drew back, "Maybe," he replied cheerfully over his shoulder.

Nick wondered if he had just fallen into an alternate dimension where this was a perfectly normal morning breakfast conversation. He shook his head and crossed his arms, wondering when or if he was going to wake up. He finally decided that if he was dreaming, he loved every second of it. He could get used to this. As far as he was concerned, it was the perfect life.

* * *

><p><strong>And there's the final chapter,<strong>

**I had no idea how to end this story, this was the only one I didn't already have pre-written because I originally meant for the last chapter to be the end but a few of you wanted to learn a little more about Jeff's mom (it feels so odd typing it like that when I'm used to the English version of 'mum'). I hope that this was alright!**

**Thankyou to each and everyone of you who have left reviews, put the story on alert or favourite and even to those of you who only read this story, I never in a million years thought that I would have so many people reading and actually liking something I have written.**

**This chapter hasn't been name checked like the rest because I was unable to log on to my hotmail account. But I'd like to thank gottriplets for all her help throughout this story, without her this story would be _very_ mucked up. It was amazing to have the pleasure of your help!**

**Some of you have already asked for a sequel, the answer to that is just a maybe for now. If I do decide to write one I won't attempt to start writing it till the summer holidays as I have recently developed a habit of taking the piss to upload chapters. Being at the end of year 10 ready to start year 11 means I have had a lot of work and exams cut out for me, especially the exams. Within the last three weeks I have taken: Maths (Higher), Science (Biology resit, Foundation), Science (Physics, Higher), R.E (Foundation), English (Higher) and in 2 weeks time I have a History (Foundation) exam. And I'm also starting 2 weeks work experience on the 18th of June. The joys of school life.**

**But as for an epilogue, it's a possibility if I can think of anything to write. It would probably involve someone dying...**

**Again, thankyou all.**


	21. Epilogue

It was a cold and damp day in Halisham, England; the salty rain had started sometime early in the morning, and the grey sky seemed to match the feelings the day shared with the people clustered around the freshly-turned earth. It wasn't a day for celebration; it was a day for mourning. Not to mourn that which had been lost, but to mourn instead that which never was.

Time had done little to heal most wounds, and the two halves of a shattered family stood on opposite sides of the simple stone. The rain came down more steadily now. Unity through sorrow; for Nicholas Duval, it was just another bitter regret of a past he could never reconcile.

There had never been a chance for that, and as the rain plastered the hair to his head he stared down at the earth and wondered if there had been any more that he could have done. But after ten years, there really had been nothing. He had tried, and every time that hand had been extended it had been slapped away.

He should have been bitter, but there was no room inside for that. There was only the sadness of understanding why the man under that fresh sod could never accept him for who he was. There was no room in the Major's army for him.

Jeff stood beside him, a constant presence in his life; they had their rough patches - all relationships went through them - but his knight in shining armour, a true fairytale prince, had stood beside him through the past ten years, sheltering and protecting him, and showering him with the love he had never been able to harvest from his 'family'.

Ordinarily in a moment like that he would let Jeff comfort him, draw strength from the rock in his life; but right there and then it was the final time he would face the Major, and he had to do it standing alone. It was something he had to do for himself. Finally rid himself of all the anger and resentment so that he would be able to carry on with his life. Jeff, as always, respected his stubborn need to be independent.

His eyes travelled up to his sister, a vibrant young woman now nearly fourteen, wearing a beautiful black dress. She looked at her mother whose eyes narrowed at him. Some bitterness never died. But Lucy wasn't about to let that poison her love for her brother, as she slipped from her mother's side and went round to him.

He pulled her against him, staring down at the stone, feeling her drawing strength from him. Two survivors of their own war, but there had been casualties along the way; pride and confidence had fallen early in the struggle. But there was no doubt now; they were both free.

Major Duval had died a hero to his country, leading his men into Basra to liberate it from a dictator's grasp. There was so much debate over the right to do so, that people had over looked the individual acts of heroism that brought the best out in people. The Major had died a hero, saving his men from an ambush; fighting for another country to gain the freedoms he had dedicated his life to protecting.

The irony wasn't lost on Nicholas Duval, his son. Even though the stubborn old man would never have admitted it, those freedoms of equality he had fought to bring to other people extended to his own family. In a way, in death, he was the hero he had never been in life.

Nick finally turned away as Jeff came forward to embrace him, and the tears Nick had steadfastly refused to cry finally came forth at that point. Holding onto the two people that loved him unconditionally, returning that love to them.


End file.
